A little tool to help you become more of a "half full" type of person. Available at the Kim & Jason Lemonade Stand.

Labor Day weekend is upon us; the unofficial end of summer that reminds us, “Quit goofing around, it’s time to get back to work.”

Perhaps you’ve heard the rumor that unemployment is really, really high.

If not, it’s probably because it’s been drowned out by all the other bad news being reported by seemingly every media source. The economy is depressed. Terrorism is on a rampage. And the Earth is melting. (Or is it freezing — I wish they’d make up their minds.)

If you listen to the pundits for too long, you’ll become convinced that we’re living in the worst period of time in the history of the world.

Bummer, huh?

No wonder Adultitis is at an all-time high. I, for one, am tired of it. Tired of the problems, for sure, but also tired of the hand-wringing and worrying. It feels like it’s been going on so long now that I’m actually tired of being tired of all the negativity.

How about a little optimism?

Yes, we have challenges. Crazy big ones. But dwelling on them endlessly only drives us to a deeper sense of fearful paralysis. And while we are tirelessly focusing on how bad things are, what are we missing out on?

Opportunities, for one. And reasons to be grateful.

There’s a popular phrase people often use when reflecting on their past: “Those were the good old days.” Ever notice how nobody ever says, “These are the good old days?”

Hmm. What if you — right now — were currently smack dab in the middle of your “good old days?”

Think about it. Before you — right now — are opportunities, moments, and blessings you’ll never experience again. You have people in your life right now that you won’t have with you forever. Maybe not next year. Are you appreciating them? Or are you taking the good things for granted while you focus on your fears?

It really is a simple matter of changing your perspective, the one thing in this crazy world that you DO have control of. Two people can look at the same glass, with one calling it “half full” while the other calls it “half empty.” In my experience, the “half full” people always seems to be happier, less stressed, and more fun to be around. They’re the ones that notice Cracker Jack prizes in spades and are always able to spot reasons to celebrate, no matter how negative the nightly newscast may be.

Labor day is a fun holiday, often marked with picnics, parades, and burnt hot dogs. Maybe you could use it as an occasion to practice becoming more of a “half full” kind of person. And think of all the great reasons there are for being alive. Right here. Right now.

Happy Labor Day.

And remember, every day is a holiday. It’s just that most days, what to celebrate is up to you.

photo by leo reynolds

(We hardly knew ye, summer! See ya again in nine months!)

This is your chance — right now — before everything is completely up and running, to have a conversation that will decrease your stress and increase your happiness this fall. Don’t miss this opportunity! Here’s what you need to do…

Call a household meeting (even if you’re the only one in your household.) Have everyone bring their calendars and schedules for the next few months.

Once all parties have gathered, ask everyone the magic question: “What’s your number?”

Meaning, in a perfect world, how many weeknights would you like to be at home and not out doing something (even if that “something” is fun)?

This answer will vary based on the personality type of each person. Naturally, the extroverts may want more time in organized activities, while your introverts may crave more downtime at home.

The goal here is to proactively avoid over-scheduling.

The tricky part is in the evaluation of each person’s number. If Brother convincingly declares he only needs one night home, but other family members recall him being stressed last year with a similar schedule, then it’s the responsibility of everyone else to call a “Blatancy Alert.” Do not let others convince themselves that they can balance more than they truly can. You HAVE to look out for one another.

Dad may need 3 nights home, which means he has to choose between helping coach the soccer team and being a part of the networking group. Big Sis may need only 2 nights home, which means track and the part-time job can be balanced — with a re-evaluation at the end of the semester.

Even if your 6-year-old cannot completely grasp the concept, you can ask her to tell you what types of things she looks forward to. This will give you an idea of where you should set limits on her out-of-the-home activities.

Everything fighting for space in your schedule looks good on paper — all of the extracurriculars that will help you all be well-rounded, active, and involved in the community. Yet, these conversations about limits and the reality of how everything falls in the week are the secret to making it all work in the end.

This simple question and the conversation that follows WILL PREVENT ADULTITIS in your household.

Once everyone’s “number” has been established, the fun begins: looking at calendars, discussing scheduling, and realistic solutions to make sure everyone has what they need to be able to function in a healthy and happy manner. Oh yeah (stating the obvious here), try to make sure you are not all home on a different night of the week. Schedule in those family dinners and weekly Sabbaths (two things that will change your life — GUARANTEED!)
(link to posts on both concepts)

So, if you find yourself being stretched too thin or feeling like a chicken with your head cut off, just remember it’s never too late to call a household meeting to ask the magic question.

If YOU don’t, who will?

art by jason

I’m guessing that this quip originated from a woman who caught her husband throwing things at the television while watching a football game. Or perhaps a high school teacher who was tired of her students firing spitballs across the classroom.

As with any rule, there usually contains within it a kernel of common sense. In this case, it is, “Quit acting like an idiot, you moron.”

The problem with this rule is that it falls apart the minute you start to follow the logic. I have yet to find the handbook that details exactly how one is supposed to act upon reaching a certain age. For instance, which actions are supposed to be jettisoned when a 34-year-old turns 35? And when I turn 65, am I suddenly supposed to jack my thermostat up to 100º, start eating dinner at 4:00, and commence complaining about how the kids are wearing their pants these days?

Clearly, this rule has some real problems.

Even worse, this particular adage oversteps its bounds and enslaves many people in the chains of Adultitis. In an effort to “act our age,” ANY actions and attitudes that could in any way be considered childish are tossed out like the proverbial baby and his proverbial bathwater. We laugh less, especially not at silly jokes. We’re more stressed, because we focus our attentions exclusively on “serious” matters. Instead of being optimistic, we become “realistic” (which really means pessimistic, although we’d never admit it.)

What a shame.

Because some of the qualitites we are so eager to abandon are the very things that can reward us with the kind of life we so desperately crave. One that is adventurous. Passionate. Meaningful. And fun.

It has been said that the average 4-year-old laughs around 400 times a day. There is some debate over the source and accuracy of this statistic, but any fool could tell you that when it comes to average daily laughs, the chasm between kids and adults is astronomical.

Odds are, a kid laughs around 400 times a day. Your laugh total probably clocks in at less than 20.

What age would you rather act?

If you feel unhappy, tired, stressed-out, bored, unadventurous, or any other negative emotion, try acting in the opposite way.

To feel happier, act happier.

To feel more adventurous, act more adventurously.

According to William James, the brilliant psychologist and philosopher, it’s a strategy that’s bound to work:

“Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” — William James

From now on, boldly refuse to act your age.

Instead, act more like the person you want to become.

art by jason

The next time you’re around children, pay close attention to them. Notice how delighted they are to find a penny on the ground (even more so when they get to throw it into a fountain). Observe how excited they become when they get to push the elevator button. It won’t take long, but after some serious study, you’ll start to smile at the little things kids get excited about. Kids are thrilled by lightning bugs, bubble baths, and the intricacy of a snowflake. They’re turned on my helium balloons, bedtime stories, and cereal box prizes. It is undeniable that kids make a big deal out of little things; as far as I can tell, they seem to be having a pretty good time.

Adults however, are a different story.

As we grow up, Adultitis sets in. We walk around with a “been there, done that, got-the-t-shirt” attitude. We’ve seen it all (or so we think), so it takes more and more to impress us. And that is a dangerous and expensive road to be on.

Eventually, complacency and cynicism set in, and that’s the kiss of death. Not only to a passionate life, but a successful one as well. The fact is that people who are delightable are way better off than those who aren’t.

People who are delightable have better relationships.

If you’re not delightable, good luck finding friends. Who wants to be in the company of a know-it-all who is impossible to impress and is always looking past you for the next big thing? On the other hand, people who are delightable are more fun to be around. They ask great questions. They respond to your stories enthusiastically. And they have a sense of anticipation about them that just makes life feel more exciting when you’re together. Who would you rather be?

People who are delightable are more successful.

The more delightable you are, the more receptive you are to the little things that can make a big difference. Anything can be interesting, so you live life with eyes wide open. You’re more able to see opportunities that others miss and notice connections that can help you solve your most pressing problems. And the ability to celebrate tiny successes keeps you fired up so you don’t burn out on the path to your big goal.

People who are delightable enjoy life more.

Kids go crazy for Cracker Jack prizes. Guess what? Life is FILLED with Cracker Jack prizes; those little treasures hidden just below our hurried consciousness. The smell of a newborn baby. The watercolor sunset of a summer day. The feeling of walking barefoot on a beach. The sound of rain on the rooftop — on a day you get to sleep in. It’s the stuff we miss when we’re racing through life like a chicken with its head cut off. Life really is all about the journey. And the journey is made richer when you slow down enough to notice and appreciate the Cracker Jack prizes along the way. To become awakened to and get caught up in the mundane details and hidden surprises that often get lost in the ebb and flow of our busy days are among the greatest blessings life has to offer.

If life seems to have lost its magic, take a cue from kids and practice becoming more delightable. With a potential new discovery just around the corner, your life will surely become more exciting, fulfilling, and fun.

P.S. This post was inspired by the newest book from my nametag wearing buddy, Scott. It’s called ABLE: 35 Strategies for Increasing the Probability of Success in Business and in Life. He’s got ideas to make you more buzzable, meetable, pursuable, retweetable, and successable (among other things). I’m not sure if delightable is actually a word, but it should be. And speaking of shoulds, this book (and all of Scott’s books) should be required reading for every human.

photo by kim

After all of the travels this kid has done so far (34 flights in 20 months), one of the coolest sights was found right in our local grocery store parking lot! (Isn’t that how life goes?!)

We walked out with our cart full of yummies to find a FULL rainbow right before our eyes. It spanned the entire sky. (I felt five!)

“WOOOWWW!” Lucy instantly proclaimed in her shaky toddler voice, pointing up at one of the coolest things I had ever seen in my 32 years. I found myself echoing her joy and awe. It was sure something! So big! So bright! And it’s so rare to see both ends. Upon closer inspection, there were actually two rainbows, the second one fainter but there in the shadow of the first.

Lucy had certainly labeled this right — “WOOOWWW!”

I pulled the cart off to the side and we enjoyed the beauty together — delighting in one another’s joy. We stuck around for probably five minutes just enjoying the show in the sky.

That five minutes taught me a lot about my fellow shoppers. We saw a few people who also enjoyed the rainbow by shooting pictures or leaning on their cars, just taking it in. Cool.

The large majority of people, however, were much too busy to stop. Adultitis was running rampant right there before my eyes. It made me sad AND mad. About 90% of the people we saw did not even acknowledge the rainbow AT ALL. They were coming out of the store, rushing to their cars, eager to get to the next thing. [Sidenote: There's NO WAY you could've missed it, as it stretched across the entire sky of this wide open parking lot.]

I wanted so badly to approach one of these individuals and say….

“Hello?! Seriously?! It’s a full, double rainbow, for crying out loud! How many times in your lifetime have you seen this? Are you really THAT busy not to stop for even a second?”

What would they have said?

Somehow, with less than 24 months of life experience, Lucy knew instinctively that this rainbow was a BIG deal.

How quickly we let the busyness of life’s to-do list preoccupy our ability to delight in the beauty and wonder right here in our midst. The rainbow was an obvious one, but it begs an important question: what are you missing today?

Sign up to receive our free newsletter to get regular reminders and tips for stressing less and having more fun. Consider it a well-deserved jolt of happiness for your inbox.

art by jason

In the initial audition episodes, the contestants had to prepare their signature dish for the panel of judges in an effort to win one of 30 aprons in order to advance to the next round. As she prepared her dish, a young Hispanic woman named Adeliz spoke passionately about her family’s food history. In a misguided attempt to impress the judges, she used squeeze bottles to begin drawing squiggly lines of reduction sauce on the plate.

It didn’t take long for them to sense a disconnect.

“I can hear the passion but I can’t taste it. You’re missing the most important part, the heart and soul of what you stand for.” — Gordon Ramsey

In an unprecedented move, Ramsey gave her a second chance. With a time limit of two hours, he implored her to drive home, raid her cupboard, and come back with the ingredients to cook to her strength, something truly authentic.

She returned, free of pretension, and made New Mexican chile rellenos starring green chiles straight from her freezer. A dish she’d made hundreds of times for her family.

The judges loved it. They unanimously rewarded her with a coveted apron. Ramsey encouraged her to continue to play to her strengths and stay authentic.

While this proved to be excellent advice for Adeliz, I think it’s a great life lesson for all of us.

You were created to be something special. Every time you pretend to be something you’re not, or hide your uniqueness from the world, you lose a little bit of that specialness. You look more and more like everybody else.

School and society teaches us to conform, to follow the leader, and to work on our weaknesses in order to become “well-rounded.” We’re so used to it, we think of it as solid common sense.

But it’s not.

You’re creating unnecessary competition for yourself. You’re blending in to the crowd. You’re becoming both mediocre and invisible.

A school in our area recently hired a new second grade teacher. They had over one hundred applicants to choose from for one position. I’ll guarantee you that the person they picked didn’t look like everybody else.

Here’s a fact: No matter how much work you do, you’ll never lift your below-average skills to anything that rivals the efforts of someone who’s naturally good at them. However, when focused towards the things you ARE good at, that same amount of effort can easily take you to a world-class level.

When I started out as a speaker (and an artist and writer, for that matter), I naturally imitated the people I admired. It’s a great way to learn. But I have found that the more I unleash my own uniqueness into what I offer, the more uncopyable — and successful — I become.

Whether you’re looking for a job, looking for a date, or looking for a way to be happy in life, the first step is to just be yourself.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” –Oscar Wilde

It really is a lot easier to be yourself than trying to pretend to be something you’re not. The hardest part is getting to the point where you feel like YOU is good enough. Especially if you have yet to enjoy the success of some of your role models.

Let me tell you something. You are MORE than good enough. You have talents that no one else has. (At the very least, you are in a specific position to use them in a way no one else can.) The world doesn’t need another (fill in the blank with your biggest hero), it needs you.

It needs your strengths, your passion, your authenticity.

Be you. The world is waiting.

I never was one of those boys who were magnetically drawn to mud puddles. That’s not to say that I didn’t make my share of messes. My Mom only brought out the Play-Doh on special occasions because she knew her post game activity would be picking dried Play-Doh crumbs out of the carpet.

These days, I enjoy when things are neat and orderly. But I’ve been gaining a new appreciation for messes. (I am sure that this in no way has anything to do with me having a 20-month-old.)

Alas, a theme is afoot. Kim recently wrote a cool post about messes, following one I wrote about how messes are tied to curiosity. Then I came across this awesome video by Zach Daulton. [Hat tip to Josh Crocker]

Be sure to watch it. It’s cute, clever, and very, very wise.

Meanwhile, I’m feeling the sudden need to keep a closer eye on Lucy and make sure my Play-Doh is in a safe place…

I saw someone get really bad news today.

It was upsetting to witness.

We were walking along the always interesting State Street, Madison’s hot spot for fun and folly. This woman in her mid-20s was on her cell phone and it was obvious that she had just received news that would change her life. She stood there devastated, crying and hiding her face from the crowded street, shuddering into her boyfriend’s arms. I couldn’t help but wonder. What happened?

Did her mom die? Was her best friend in a terrible accident? Did she just find out she has a life-threatening illness? What?

Whatever it was — it was big.

I was immediately unsettled.

Less than 30 seconds after seeing her, we walked by a guy who had a shirt on that said “live life.”

There — in those two simple words — was the instant answer to my feelings of helplessness and sadness.

Everyone gets at least one of those phone calls in their lifetime. It’s just part of life. You can’t dwell on if or when or what the call will reveal.

All you can do is LIVE LIFE.

The challenge is to do it as well as you can, while you can.

art by jason

[This article was originally published over at Dumb Little Man. There are some great insights to be found in the comments over there!]

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in Wonderland? Or work at Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory? Or have an apartment on Sesame Street?

Would your life be better? More fun? More exciting?

A while back I asked the following question on our Facebook page: Which imaginary place would you most like to visit? The responses were quite varied (my favorite might actually be “my clean house”), but here are a few classics that popped up:

• Narnia
• Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
• Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood and the Land of Make Believe
• Wonderland
• Charlie’s Chocolate Factory
• Neverland
• Sesame Street
• Pandora
• Munchkin Land in Oz
• Florin (from the Princess Bride)

The list itself conjures up some great memories from my own childhood. I began thinking about all these imaginary places and wondered if they had anything in common. What made them so special that people would want to visit (or even live there)? And even more importantly, is there anything we can do to make the real world we live in more like those fictional places? I decided that there definitely is, and here’s what I came up with:

Open Your Eyes to Wonder and Imagine the Impossible.
In each of the locations listed, wonder and imagination abounds. The impossible is made possible. Although each place is rooted in reality (that is, there are elements of each world that are similar to our own), there are definitely some exciting differences. Playing cards can walk. Muppets can talk. Magic is real. And rivers are made of chocolate.

In fact, our world is just as wondrous as the fictional ones written about above. Granted, I am unaware of any chocolate rivers, but consider a bay where the water glows and lights bubble to the surface like flourescent Champagne. Or a wall so big it can be seen from space. Skies that magically pulse with washes of vibrant color. A giant white marble palace built by an emperor in honor of his wife who died in labor with their fourteenth child. A curious and breathtaking multi-colored canyon 6,000 feet deep. An ocean so vast that many marine ecologists believe there are still mysterious and massive creatures yet to be discovered.

We need to remove the hazy gray film covering our eyes, created by years of apathy and cynicism. We think we’ve seen it all, so we stop looking. Start again. See the world with new eyes. Watch a toddler on his first trip to the zoo and you will see someone who is as impressed as you’d be on your first day in Wonderland.

And as far as the impossible is concerned, think about how many things we now enjoy that weren’t possible just 200 years ago. The electric light bulb. Automobiles. Air travel. Space travel. Telephone. Radio. Television. Computers. The Internet. The iPhone. To the early American settlers, these inventions (and thousands of others) would have seemed as fantastical to them as a television that could transport chocolate would seem to us. Even in our world, the impossible can be made possible.

But only by the people who are brave enough to believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

Embrace (and Learn From) Diversity.
Another thing that strikes me about these imaginary places is the breathtaking level of diversity. There are unicorns, wizards, elves, fairies, talking trees, oompa loompas, munchkins, flying monkeys, muppets, basilisks, centaurs, and even humans. (Just to name a few.) Each has a unique point of view and valuable gifts to offer. The fates of these storybook worlds are often tied to the level of success the individuals have in sharing those talents and working together.

The same is true of our own world, of course. Although diversity has become a hackneyed politically correct buzzword, there is a dizzying array of it in our world, and our willingness to work together will determine whether we will all eventually sink or swim.

I was recently on a jury for a very complicated trial. In the deliberation room after both sides presented their cases, twelve people with different backgrounds and points of view were tasked with coming up with a consensus. It was a challenge. My eyes were opened to some new ways of thinking and I learned a lot about people and about myself. Five hours later, we’d reached a decision, and I think we were all impressed and proud of what twelve strangers had been able to accomplish, despite our differences.

It’s easy, comfortable, and very, very human, to stick close to the people that think and act like us. But once in a while, we need situations that are foreign in order to grow. Whether it’s by traveling to someplace new, taking a class in a subject you know nothing about, or attending a party attended by people you wouldn’t normally interact with, create opportunities to enrich your life by experiencing diversity.

Live a Better Story.
Another thing that is appealing about these imaginary places is that the inhabitants always seem to be engaged in some epic story, a grand adventure. People don’t sit around channel surfing or balancing checkbooks or buying underwear at Wal-Mart. No sirree Bob. There are exciting, wonderful, and dangerous things happening all the time. There is passion. There is a purpose. There are big, holy cow kinds of goals and missions in which life and death often hang in the balance.

There is a great book by Donald Miller called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. (It has catapulted into the top five most personally influential books I’ve ever read.) In it, Miller challenges himself (and the reader) to consider the type of stories we are living. What are we striving for? Miller argues that we are all living a story, but far too few are the stuff that sumer blockbusters are made of.

What about you? Are you on a mission? Is your life leading to something great? Are you taking risks, striving tirelessly, and undergoing your own hero’s journey?

Or are you going through the motions in a vanilla-flavored rut-filled life? If so, it might be time to start living a life on par with the heroes of Narnia.

Don’t Forget That Good Always Triumphs.
Some of the places I’ve listed are always safe — no drive-by shootings on Sesame Street — but in most cases, danger and evil are ever-present. But in the end, good always prevails. The bad guy always gets his comeuppance (or becomes a good guy.) I think this is a big reason why we look so fondly at these imaginary locations. In our world, it seems like the nice guys really do finish last and that evil gets off scott free.

The reality is that in the end, good will triumph in our world. It’s just not always resolved in such a neat and tidy fashion as is common in storybooks and two-hour movies. Sometimes we don’t even live to see it. But I have come to believe and experience that things do eventually work out for the best, if given enough time. There is a battle between good and evil in our world, and we must choose sides. Hang out with good people. Do good works. Believe in something bigger than yourself. And there’s no doubt in my mind that your story will end happily ever after.

So that’s my take. What similarities do you see between the imaginary places from our favorite stories? And what other ways can we make our real world more like these fantasy worlds?

Sign up to receive our free newsletter to get regular reminders and tips for stressing less and having more fun. Consider it a well-deserved jolt of happiness for your inbox.

So we recently unveiled a new way to buy Kim & Jason greeting cards and get your hands on some original art. The WOW Greeting Card Box Set is packed with 48 cards spanning all of life’s big moments, and the box top features a little drawing by moi.

I have to say that I am loving the opportunity to get back into drawing and inking the characters I grew to know so well while doing the daily comic strip from 2000-2007. Since every box is different (customized based on the information specified by each customer), I thought it would be cool to give you a look at some recent creations.

The box above is the first one I did. It was for Brenda, who said she enjoyed reading and that turtles were her favorite animal. First I sketch things out in pencil, and then finish them with india ink, applied with a brush, just like the comic strip. I love the variety of line weights you can get with a brush, and I was delighted to discover that I wasn’t too rusty with my inking skills.

Marci is a superfan who goes WAY back. Anybody who has Kim & Jason Annual #1 will find a mention of her near the end of the book. She upgraded to color, which meant I had to break out my trusty colored pencils. She left things pretty open-ended for me, but noted that she loved the outdoors and eating anything chocolate.

Lea also wanted a colored one. She explained that she enjoyed kayaking with her husband, so I knew I wanted to use that as my main theme. Notice that Jason is ill-prepared for such an excursion. Her favorite animal was a tie between a snow leopard and a sea otter. The sea otter won out in this case. You know how cats feel about the water.

And this one I had to show off because I LOVE how the panda turned out. It was Jamie from Vermont’s favorite animal. A love for martial arts also allowed me to mix in a little nod to Karate Kid and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I got some neat e-mails back from some of the recipients, so it’s cool to know that the work is appreciated. My Dad says these are way underpriced, but we’ll stick with the introductory price for little while longer. If you’d like to commission your own custom box of greeting cards, go for it. First come, first served!

photo by bernat casero

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
– Helen Keller

Hate to say it, Helen, but I think too many people would categorize their lives as “nothing at all.”

In the words of my favorite celebrity chef, Gordon Ramsey, “What a SHAME!” (In an English accent, of course.)

Is YOUR life a daring adventure?

If not, I have to tell you that you are setting yourself up for a major case of the DBRs (death bed regrets). DBRs are in many cases worse than Adultitis because there is very little you can do about it. At least in identifying Adultitis, you can usually start turning things around immediately, but at the end of your life, time is your biggest enemy. DBR’s do not afford you the time to do much of anything, except wonder, “What if?”

One of the major goals in our company is to help people get to the end of their lives with as few “I wish I woulda’s” as possible.

I wish I woulda…

• learned to play an instrument.
• traveled outside of the country.
• earned a college degree.
• volunteered for that important charity.
• went sky diving.
• gotten my pilot’s license.
• learned a foreign language.
• gone to the Super Bowl.
• run the Boston Marathon.
• adopted a child.

You need to muster up the courage (moxie, guts, faith, matzah balls — whatever) to turn that “what if” into an opportunity — a new daring adventure.

What’s stopping you?

I believe that deep down, under the layers of fear and uncertainty, a childlike spirit is inside of you just DYING for a little adventure, for the chance to show your spunk. I GUARANTEE you that you were NOT a boring child!

If you let that child come out to play, what would he/she beg you to do first? (“Pretty please, please, please!!!”)

I once heard a story about an elderly woman who was encouraged to go back to college. It was something she’d always wanted to do, but concerned about her advanced age, she exclaimed, “Do you know how old I’ll be when I graduate?”

“Yes,” said her wise friend. “The same age you’d be if you don’t.”

If your heart is still ticking, you’re here for a reason. Don’t waste that adventurous childlike spirit on a boring life.

At the end of the Curious George movie that came out a few years back, the “Man With the Yellow Hat” said to George, “You don’t need to go around the world to have a great adventure. YOU brought adventure to my life and now that’s all that matters.”

Travel within yourself to find your adventure.

And go for it. Leave the “I wish I woulda’s” for someone else.

George and I will be cheering you on!

Sign up to receive our free newsletter to get regular reminders and tips for stressing less and having more fun. Consider it a well-deserved jolt of happiness for your inbox.

I love my job. A few years ago, Kim and I got a behind-the-scenes tour of a 27-foot-long hot dog on wheels, aka the Wienermobile. This summer, we were able to take a spin in another classic vehicle — an exact replica of the Wagon Queen Family Truckster that Chevy Chase drove in National Lampoon’s Vacation.

It all came about when our friend Adam (a former Wienermobile driver) emailed us to tell us about his new job with HomeAway, a vacation rental website. As part of a national campaign, they bought the Truckster from Gary Schneider, who meticulously fashioned the replica as part of his hobby (check out the construction photos). HomeAway used the vehicle in a Super Bowl commercial and hilarious short film starring Chevy Chase and Bevery D’Angelo. Adam knew we had a reputation for fun, so he wondered if we’d like the Truckster to stop by when it came to town.

Um, yeah!

So the metallic pea-green beauty pulled into our driveway, and we got a chance to talk to John and Stephanie, two adventurous spirits who were tasked with the job of criss-crossing the country in the Truckster, delighting movie fans and raising awareness for HomeAway.com.

We put together a little video of our experience and highlighted some of the sweet details you might remember from the movie:

Click here to view the embedded video.

You can keep abreast of the Truckster’s travels on the official blog, and if you’re interested in winning one of those $5,000 vacations, be sure to submit your photo on their Facebook page. By the way, we didn’t get any compensation from HomeAway, other than an up-close look and free ride!

Like I said, I love my job. I can only hope that my next special ride will be in the Batmobile.

Or the Millennium Falcon.

We recently celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in Key West, Florida. With the little one in excellent hands back home, we had a chance for some good old-fashioned doin’ nothing.

While soaking up some rays and enjoying the surf, we were hit with some bits of wisdom regarding stressing less and having more fun. So we decided to create a six-part video series sharing some of the thoughts we had while we were in a Key West state of mind. In this tip, Kim explains why it’s so important to take the scenic route once in a while, and what that actually looks like in your everyday life.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Sign up to receive our free newsletter to get regular reminders and tips for stressing less and having more fun. Consider it a well-deserved jolt of happiness for your inbox.

Being a mom has been WAY harder than I ever imagined. (Mom, you sure made it look easy!)

Amidst many recent moments of second-guessing (the norm for first-time parents of a toddler), I am excited to report that I had a major breakthrough last weekend. You see, it was a perfectly beautiful summer afternoon in Madison. Days like that are the reason I endure Wisconsin’s never-ending month of February.

Jason, Lucy and I followed the sun down to the edge of Lake Mendota, more specifically to “The Union,” aka the living room of campus for UW-Madison, which overlooks the biggest lake around (except for that “great” one just right of Milwaukee.)

After saying hello to a number of duckies, a stroller ride down the path towards Picnic Point, and some fun conversation, we found ourselves in the SUPER DUPER long line for some of the best ice cream around. Well worth the wait.

[Side note: Lucy is showing all of the signs of a future chocoholic. (And I am secretly thrilled!) You see, for the last 10 years, I have been living with a man who simply tolerates chocolate. Ouch. All of you cocoa-lovers out there know the pain I've endured. After spending the previous 22 years living in a household dominated by estrogen (4 daughters, mom, and Princess our dog -- oh, my poor dad!), chocolate cured all. Marrying a cherry pie/carmel cashew lover has been quite the culture shock. Our weekly pan of brownies growing up was a ritual that was about as sacred as our weekly visit to Mass. But, my patience has payed off. Our little Goldilocks is going to be sharing a 9 x 9 pan of chocolate heaven with her mom soon enough. And all will be right in the world, once again. Alas, I digress...]

So Lucy and I shared some chocolate ice cream and Jason enjoyed his lame, um, I mean lime sherbet.

I decided it was time for Lucy to have FULL control of her own ice cream cone. No micromanaging, as had been standard practice in the past. I handed it to her and we exchanged a look that I will never forget. It married surprise and wonderment. Her hazel eyes shined pure joy. She licked. She smiled. She concentrated. She beamed. And she ended up with the cutest brown ice cream goatee I have ever seen. Ice cream was up her nose, on her toes and everywhere in between. She undeniably enjoyed every. single. bite.

And here’s where the breakthrough came in.

I let go of the messy shirt, the sticky fingers, and crazy sugar buzz that would follow the inevitably mammoth clean-up.

I LET IT ALL GO.

“Never let making a mess get in the way of making a memory.” — Kim Kotecki

For all of my over-thinking lately regarding time-outs, whining, and our anti-veggie Lucy, letting go felt pretty darn good. I let her “be” and thoroughly enjoyed her bliss. In the process of savoring her joy, I recongized that there are moments like these just waiting in the wings all the time. All I need to do is to open my eyes to them and slow down long enough to let them happen.

How about you?

Can you do it?

How have you let go of a mess in order to make a memory lately?

art by jason

I was back at home, living with my parents, and engaged to be married within a year. I was faced with trying to find a job and I had two choices: get a regular, “normal” job with benefits (that hopefully had something to do with art), or cast out on my own as a freelance illustrator. I think my parents were hoping for the former.

I requested a meeting, and I presented them with a short, three-page document I’d been working on. It had a list of pros and cons of both scenarios. It listed all the money I had to my name (a little over $6,000). It explained why I wanted to go with the freelance option and included a bullet list of action steps — all the things I could think of to get off to a good start.

In many ways, it was kind of a proposal. Not only did I need to know they believed in me and thought I had a good plan, but they also had to sign off on not charging me room and board for the year.

Somehow, they approved my plan. Perhaps they did really think it was a good one. Perhaps they didn’t mind the thought of their firstborn staying in the nest for one more year. Perhaps they didn’t have the heart to crush my optimism. Perhaps they didn’t think I’d stick with it.

But the very fist line on that old “business plan” — I still have it, by the way — was a line from the wise green sage from Star Wars:

“Do or do not. There is no try.” — Yoda

Fast forward eleven years, and after building a six-figure business and creating a life Kim and I absolutely love, I think that Yoda’s quote might well be the biggest reason for my success.

[Sidenote: Technically, God has been the biggest reason for my success. Without my faith -- and more importantly, his grace -- my life would be all kinds of messed up. But of all the things I did along the way, following Yoda's advice was probably the most crucial.]

When I was mulling over my options in my early twenties, I knew I had a big decision to make. One road was well paved, popular, and predictably comfortable. The other was overgrown, rocky, risky, and held no certainty of where it would lead. In my mind, if I were to take the more dangerous path, there could be no looking back. Trying was not an option. I knew that having a backup plan made it much more likely that it would eventually become THE plan. Or as Will Smith says, “There’s no reason to have a Plan B. It distracts from Plan A.” The only way to succeed was to not accept failure.

In order to really make your dream happen, you have to be willing to burn every bridge behind you. Nothing less will do.

You will fail on the way to your dream. And when you’re in the middle of the failure, that fallback plan always looks pretty tempting.

Now, that doesn’t mean you never change course. (Holy cow, have I changed courses!) When you start out, you don’t know everything, you only know what you know. If you’re doing life right, you should be learning new stuff all the time. Things you thought would be really cool sometimes turn out to be not so much when you finally get a taste of them. For instance, I originally thought I wanted to build this big business with lots of employees. But then I realized that I really hate managing. So now I’m focusing on building a company that’s big on impact and small on overhead.

Technology changes the game, too. There weren’t really blogs back in 1999. Now our entire several-thousand-page web site is run on blog software. (I heart WordPress!) Back then, there was no YouTube. No Facebook. No iPhones. No Elance. All have been game changers for us.

So yeah, you have to be willing to change and adjust and explore new paths when you’re chasing a dream. As Rita Mae Brown wrote, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.”

But I think the big key for me has been that although I have changed courses many times, the thought of going back and getting a “regular” job stopped being an option the day I gave my parents that business plan. I was determined to succeed in my dream of working for myself and doing what I love, no matter what.

There was no “trying” involved.

Of course, that meant I’d have to work harder, persist longer, and fail more often than I ever thought I could.

And that’s what has gotten me here.

So thanks Mom and Dad. And extra special thanks to you, Yoda.

We recently celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in Key West, Florida. With the little one in excellent hands back home, we had a chance for some good old-fashioned doin’ nothing.

While soaking up some rays and enjoying the surf, we were hit with some bits of wisdom regarding stressing less and having more fun. So we decided to create a six-part video series sharing some of the thoughts we had while we were in a Key West state of mind. In this tip, I talk about one of the most important gifts to give your kids and grandkids, and how to go about doing it.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Sign up to receive our free newsletter to get regular reminders and tips for stressing less and having more fun. Consider it a well-deserved jolt of happiness for your inbox.

photo by wouter walmink

Looking for a surefire way to acquire a “Full-Blown” case of Adultitis?

Two words: air travel

The experience of flying is guaranteed to morph even the most “glass half full” type of person into a cynical scrooge – or your money back. (Ha!) Who knew a hefty case of Adultitis was free with the price of a plane ticket? And being the contagious disease that it is, it’s quite tricky to escape the spread when you’re quarantined in small planes and stuffy airports.

I’ve been noticing more and more complaints on Facebook from my road warrior speaker friends. The stressors are obvious: uncommunicated delays, extra fees, overcrowded planes, kicking toddlers (aka Lucy), smelly food, overly talkative seatmates, edgy flight attendants, oversized bags in overhead bins, and we haven’t even started to talk about security screening. I call it the Super Security Shuffle, as you wiggle your shoes and belt off and shimmy all of your electronics out of your bags. Fun stuff!

“The flying experience is terrible,” says Anne Banas, executive editor of SmarterTravel.com. “You’re getting less legroom. People fight over things like capacity in overhead bins. Airlines are charging bag fees. … Airlines are doing things that are making it more difficult and uncomfortable for the passenger, and the customer service isn’t getting that much better. You compound those factors, and you have a lot of frustration in the air.” Frustration can lead to bad manners. (Source: USA Today)

And that it does. It’s almost as if manners and common courtesy are checked at the curb with your luggage.

“People ask us all the time how do you combat the rudeness,” Lizzie Post says. “I go out there, and I’m one less rude person. You consider things. I’m not going to bring my really smelly fish leftovers on the plane. I’m going to bring a turkey sandwich. Bring along headphones to block out noise, and it’s fine to politely inform a seatmate that you’re not in the mood to chat.” (Source: USA Today)

I agree with Lizzie. In fact, I think you can even take this a step further. Instead of the “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” mentality – why not try to fight Adultitis head-on with some proactive fun? Here’s a list of 5 ways to combat Adultitis as you fly. You’ll notice this list is not your average ho-hum list of ways to stay positive and let things go — it’s an aggressive approach to fighting the frustrations that lead to Adultitis in the skies. Hope this helps your next trip go more smoothly…with a LOT more fun.

1. Chocolatey Happiness
Pack a bag of bite-sized Snickers in your carry-on and give them out as needed. “But when?” you might be asking. You’ll know. For example, you might share a few as a thank you to the airline employee helping you reschedule a delayed flight or to the guy who was willing to change seats with you so that you could sit next to your hubby. My favorite idea, though, is to share some with the kid behind you with the kicking problem. And if nothing else, you can eat them for dinner when you’re stuck at your gate with no plane. Chocolate is a good quick cure for pending Adultitis. Guaranteed.

2. Instant Smile Factory
Wear something that will automatically generate smiles from complete strangers. What you pick is based on YOU and what fits your personality. Here are some ideas: A goofy hat with fake hair attached (here and here), fun t-shirts (here, here or here), a clown nose (have extra to pass out to enthused fans), a cupcake beanie, a mullet, funny glasses, or Billy Bob teeth. The grumpy seasoned traveler behind you in line might actually crack a smile when he sees someone not taking themselves too seriously, which might actually challenge him to do the same. Ya never know… pigs may fly.

3. Planning for Prevention
Everyone is freaked out about getting through security. As long as you leave your shotgun at home, security is not as scary as it’s made out to be. Jason and I have found a number of very simple things you can do ahead of time to help things go smoother. It’s amazing what shortcuts you learn when you log 34 flights with a baby. Here are a few of my favorites:

• wear pants without a belt
• get some slip-on shoes
• leave your watch in your carry-on
• pack all of your liquids in the bag you are checking
• pack an empty water bottle in your carry-on to fill at a water fountain once you’re past security
• make sure you have a few healthy snacks in your carry-on for delays
• pack earplugs and/or an iPod.

Those poor TSA folks are at the highest risk for Adultitis (being surrounded by anxious and frustrated people all day), so be sure to share a smile and a hello. They are people too, even if they may look like robots.

4. BYOF (Bring Your Own Fun)
Delays and cancellations: inevitably the quickest way to Full Blown Adultitis. It’s almost unavoidable, unless you plan ahead for an alternative fix amidst the frustration. Bring your own fun to pass the time in case your trip is extended longer than you had thought. You’ll be surprised how many people around you instantly make eye-contact and initiate interaction when they see you’re actually willing to let yourself have fun, especially in a time when you should not be (according to the Adultitis-sufferers). Pack things like 3D drawing pads, a light-up disco bouncing ball, colored bubbles (be sure to transfer to a 3 oz. container), a friendship bracelet kit, a yodelling pickle, gnome bowling, or even desktop cornhole. Who says you HAVE to sit and mope while you wait and wait and wait?

5. Share and Share Alike
You know THAT moment, when the flight has been delayed a third time and the reality is setting in that people will definitely NOT be making their connecting flights. Ouch. Shortly after the news sets in, you can cut the Adultitis with a knife. It would be nice to lighten the mood. Be the bearer of gifts. Provide your neighboring passengers with something fun to lighten things up. Your carry-on can fit a few tchotchkes that will get your fellow flight-mates smiling again. How about packing a bunch of tiny umbrellas for their drinks, temporary tattoos, tiny rubber duckies, leis, pirate eye patches, or sticky hands. People LOVE to receive something free – no matter how small or meaningless it might be. And in the end, seeing all of their surprised smiles will really cheer YOU up too.

What other ideas do YOU have for fighting Adultitis while flying?

art by jason

I am a (recently) single mom. After a particularly tiring day at work, I lied down on the couch for about 1/2 an hour. When I got up, I went into the kitchen to start making dinner and noticed my 8-year-old son trying to “attach” a straw to the refrigerator water dispenser and drink from it. He was soaked and the floor was very wet. My immediate reaction was to yell at him to stop (“Don’t you know how hard I work–this just makes more for me to clean…etc.”). But before I did, I took a second and thought to myself, “He is having so much fun–it’s just water and as long as it gets cleaned up, what’s the harm?”

So, instead of yelling, I laughed along with him and just asked him to dry the floor when he was done playing. I don’t think I would have done this had I not heard you speak. We both got a good laugh out of it and turned what could have ended up in tears into a happy memory–thanks!

While it’s kind of her to give me so much credit, she deserves the REAL praise, because coming to the conclusion she did in the heat of the moment is really, really hard. Adultitis rules our thoughts more than we’d like to think, and it despises when we step back to look at the bigger picture to put things in perspective.

While a wet floor is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it’s also not an ideal situation either. But what would have happened had this mother scolded her son? As she herself states, tears probably would have followed, and it’s safe to say that he’d be less likely to follow through on his curiosity in the future.

And the victory of a cleaner, trouble-free household becomes a potential defeat for the whole world.

Sound crazy?

I would argue that the future of our world, especially in regards to the big problems that need solving, are exclusively tied to the curiosity and creativity of our children.

The old saying goes that you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. And so it is with curiosity. As we follow our curious pursuits, we are bound to have some unfavorable experiences. But if a person is shot down too often after such experiences, he will refrain from taking risks and his curiosity will die.

So by all means, encourage the curiosity in your children, grandchildren, and even yourself. But try not to get too riled up when that curiosity leads to some unintended negative consequences. Take a few seconds, some deep breaths, and step back to consider whether or not it’s really THAT big of a deal.

Perhaps it’s an opportunity to welcome more laughter into your life while contributing to a positive future for the whole world.

Curiouser things have happened.

Learn more about bringing Jason in to your organization to help them turn stress into laughter, rejuvenate their passion, and achieve work life balance.

We recently celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in Key West, Florida. With the little one in excellent hands back home, we had a chance for some good old-fashioned doin’ nothing.

While soaking up some rays and enjoying the surf, we were hit with some bits of wisdom regarding stressing less and having more fun. So we decided to create a six-part video series sharing some of the thoughts we had while we were in a Key West state of mind. In this tip, I explain a little known superpower called anonymity, and why life gets better once you embrace it.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Sign up to receive our free newsletter to get regular reminders and tips for stressing less and having more fun. Consider it a well-deserved jolt of happiness for your inbox.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last 10 years of fighting Adultitis, it’s this: there is no silver bullet for staying de-stressed. It’s a daily battle.

Last week I was pretty stressed-out. I was overwhelmed, tired, and resentful. Ugh. Blah. Yuck.

The reason?

I had said “yes” to WAY too much this summer and was left with the consequences.

All that being said, recognizing the problem is always the right first step in the process back to the Adultitis-free lifestyle we all strive for. Once I realized what the source of my stress was, I spent the end of the week pruning, evaluating, and establishing a plan to get me back on track, so that I can be better equipped to prevent this from happening in the future.

In an effort to figure out why I was feeling so irritable, I did an activity that I would highly recommend you try the next time you are feeling suffocated by your life. Pull out the trusty planner or family calendar and analyze your last four weeks. Write down a list of ALL of the things you had going on (outside of the normal day-to-day chores like grocery shopping, laundry, bills, etc.). Look closely at the list and think about what you should’ve said no to.

My list went on and on.

And on.

Yikes. There were 25 things altogether — everything from volunteer activities to collegial commitments to family gatherings. One thing was certain, the list was made up of ALL good things. I honestly didn’t know what I should have cut.

Darnit.

This was not going to be easy.

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”
- Tony Blair

I agree with Tony. Saying yes is easy peasy lemon squeezy. We can talk until we are blue in the face about the importance of “saying no more” but at the end of the day, it’s cloudy. The individual yeses are good and yet collectively, over the course of say, a month, they can be destructive to your well-being and ultimately your household.

This art of saying no is truly the test of your life.

The test is in self-preservation and establishing personal boundaries. If you live life without protecting these boundaries, you will most likely feel helpless and out of control — not quite the Adultitis-free lifestyle we advocate.

If you do not set up personal boundaries for your household (even if that household is JUST YOU), then you will inevitably relinquish control of your life over to everyone around you — and they may not be kind.

The world can (and will) take your time, your energy, and your sanity. Well-intentioned friends, family, and collegues will unknowingly and collectively suck you dry. They really don’t mean to, but it happens all the time. And at the end of the day… it’s on YOU.

If you find yourself running on fumes, it’s on YOU.

If you are resentful of the commitments you made, even though you believe they are all “good,” it’s on YOU.

Like a mama bear watching over her cubs, you need to be more protective and say no more often. You need to schedule actual time for rest and rejuvenation, and carve out a space for the members of your household to be together without obligations. You need to do what’s best for your household.

If you don’t, who will?

Yes, people may be upset if you don’t attend their “thing.” They may be unable to understand your point of view. And I’m here to reassure you that’s okay.

You need to be responsible for YOU.

If you are a stressed-out mess, you are no good to ANYONE.

Just think about how much better the world would be if everyone took care of themselves and those in their household first, before giving to everyone else. Something tells me we would all have a lot more to give.

I dare you to pass this test of your life — the test that determines if you are destined to live an Adultitis-ridden life or one free of resentment and busyness. A life in which you can feel good about the amount of commitments you have on your plate, for the good of those you love and for your own health and happiness.

It’s worth the fight.