We held an Adultitis Clinic last weekend, and face painting was involved.

It was the first time I have ever attempted face painting, and it was not without its challenges.

One little seven-year-old girl had a specific request, but held back because she figured I wouldn’t know what it was. Well that was all it took to stoke my competitive fires, so I urged her to tell me. Needless to say, I think I became the first face painter in the history of the world to paint a “shuga gliduh” on a little girl’s face.

A sugar glider, as I came to find out, is a small nocturnal animal from Australia, resembling a flying squirrel. She used to have one as a pet. And thanks to the amazing power of the internet, I was able to find a good reference and achieve a pretty darn cute interpretation of a sugar glider, if I do say so myself.

Meanwhile, my Dad and brother got into the spirit as well. We decided it would be interesting to see what my Dad would look like with a good old fashioned Magnum, P.I. mustache. I took great care to blend the brown and white paint, while carefully varying the stroke lengths to craft a pretty dang good facsimile.

Doug decided that he wanted to look like a doodle. You know, the way any newspaper photo of someone’s face looks like after you’ve spent forty-five minutes chitchatting on the telephone.

I regret that I didn’t go for the full effect by painting in a black eye and block out some teeth. (By the way, Katie is sporting a shooting star and my Mom is displaying a tiny cartoon Jason. You know, from that one comic strip.)

We had a blast. But the fun didn’t stop when the Clinic ended. Not by a long shot. In the spirit of Escape Plan Challenge #3, my Dad and youngest brother decided to wear their new-found facial hair out to dinner. I cannot tell you how many secret glances, hidden finger points, and outright stares they got. Especially Doug. At one point my sister-in-law Katie, upon noticing an extended glance from a passing waiter, exclaimed, “It’s okay, you can look at it.”

Sheepishly, he responded, “Well, it seemed like it was painted on, but from a distance you couldn’t tell.”

Between the waitstaff, the cooks, and fellow diners sitting at neighboring tables, I’m quite sure we made a number of people’s nights. The fun continued as we continued on to the mall and to the Apple Store where my Dad ultimately bought his first iPod, before we finally went home and the mustaches were washed away.

My Dad and brother really impressed and inspired me that night. You can’t argue that they did something that could be seen as inappropriate for people of their ages. But you also can’t argue that they inspired a lot of smiles and laughter that evening as well. Something the nightly news can’t lay claim to.

Adultitis has a sneaky way of lulling us into dull, routine-driven ruts. Sometimes it takes something jarring to break us out of our trances to remind us that we don’t always have to take ourselves so darn seriously all the time.

Behold the power of a painted-on mustache.

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This week’s Escape Plan challenge (aka our Tip of the Week) is: #2 Instaparty: Find a reason to celebrate and do something to celebrate it.

This past weekend Jason and I attended the wake of one of my former kindergarten students. She was ten and had battled cancer for the last 3+ years. Wakes are hard no matter what, but this one was probably the hardest one I’ve been to. With older folks who pass away, you can look back and celebrate their life and all that they were able to experience. In this case, I’m pretty sure everyone in that long line heading into the funeral home felt a sense of injustice. She was just too young.

A few weeks ago one of our recent Kim & Jason Champions (from the Kim & Jason Magazine, page 6) lost her life, along with her husband and son, in a plane crash. Again, it’s impossible to understand the meaning behind such tragic events. It is interesting to note that she left this life doing what she loved- flying with her family.

So, why am I bringing up these sad stories at the start of a week in which we’re challenged to celebrate?

It’s all about the unknown. You HAVE to celebrate today. You simply cannot wait. As Jason mentioned in his recent post, “Putting off something to ‘next year’ can be a tricky gambit.” Human nature tricks us into believing that we’ll all die from old age, but it’s simply not true. Don’t wait until a tragedy happens to realize that your life is meant to be lived to the fullest today. Don’t wait until your anniversary to surprise your spouse with a night out on the town. Don’t wait until your birthday to allow yourself the permission to pick up that ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. (Yum!) Don’t wait until circumstances are perfect before you plan that spontaneous camping trip. Celebrate today!

If you need some help getting started I’ve found a fun site, Holidays for Everyday. You literally have your pick of things to celebrate each and every day. Share with us what you decide to celebrate this week by leaving us a comment on the Escape Plan blog. Remember, living in this mindset is a daily challenge. It’s also very contagious, so be prepared to have some followers and be proud to lead the way.

Don’t wait until tomorrow. Do it today!

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The street upon which our office/shop is located is getting torn up right now. There are gigantic trucks digging holes, dirt everywhere, lots of loud noises and large tubes lying around waiting to be put underground. It’s a little boy’s dreamland, and Jason and I saw this firsthand. While walking into the office we came upon a young mom and her two-year-old son in a stroller. They were parked on the sidewalk in front of our shop staring at the construction site. I immediately looked in the direction they were looking, to see if something cool was happening, but all I saw was a couple of guys carrying their lunch boxes, getting ready to take a break… not exactly gripping. Then I looked at the little boy. He was literally sitting at the edge of his stroller, watching with great intensity and interest.

It was one of the purest examples of “delighting in the little things” (one of Jason’s 8 secrets) I’ve ever witnessed. He was thoroughly enthralled by the entire site, never mind that the worker guys were on a break. He was into it. The coolest thing, though, is that the mom recognized this and took the time to sit there with him. I’m sure there were plenty of other places they needed to be. She didn’t appear rushed. She wasn’t over talking about what the workers were doing, she was simply standing there and allowing her son to delight. What a great mom!

There are lessons to be learned in this little situation. The cliche “stop and smell the roses” only makes sense if you love the smell of roses. So, what’s your “rose”? Is it a street full of dirt and trucks? (If so, you might want to visit this place.) Is it the taste of a home cooked meal prepared just for you? Maybe it’s reading an e-card at work from a friend who took the time to write from the heart? Whatever it is, delight in it.

At the National Speakers Association Convention last week we were able to hear a fabulous speaker, Marshall Goldsmith. He is a regular columnist in Fast Company Magazine. Marshall took everyone on a journey many years into the future. He asked us to imagine that you’re very old and on your deathbed. You’re about to take your last breath. Right before that breath you’re given an incredible gift- the chance to go back in time and visit yourself right here and now. You’re given the opportunity to help yourself be a better person and to have a better life. What advice would your wise elder self give?

The room was completely silenced. Marshall shared that overwhelmingly the answers are always the same- Be happy now! Too many people, he explained, suffer from “Western When” syndrome (i.e., I’ll just be happy when …)

You have to remember three words: Be happy now. Not next week. Not next month. Not next year. It’s a great Western disease: I’ll be happy when… When I get that car, status, money. But there is no when. That’s a person waiting to die. Be happy now. Life is short.

Don’t wait until this or that finally happens. Happiness if a choice and you need to find it in your present situation.

The boy in the stroller found it, and so did his mom.

How about you?

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Popular comedian Bernie Mac died last Saturday. He was only 50 years old.

I was always impressed by his energy, enthusiasm and passion. I read an article about his passing and was struck by a particular passage:

In 2007, Mac told David Letterman on CBS’ “Late Show” that he planned to retire soon.

“I’m going to still do my producing, my films, but I want to enjoy my life a little bit,” Mac told Letterman. “I missed a lot of things, you know. I was a street performer for two years. I went into clubs in 1977.”

Now I don’t know what Bernie meant by “soon” in regards to his retirement, but he made the statement in 2007 and we’re already in the second half of 2008.

Putting off something to “next year” can be a tricky gambit. It lulls you into a false sense of security, giving you the feeling that you’ve got plenty of time to get around to it but not so much time that it’ll never happen. The problem with “next year” is that it’s always 365 days away. Near, but not yet.

Of course, “soon” is just as dangerous. “Soon” implies a sense of urgent priority, but leaves the door open for procrastination. After all, if you don’t get to it today, there’s always tomorrow, which is still pretty soon.

Photo by Jan Tik

If something is important enough to do next year, there’s a good chance it’s important enough to begin right now. And if a year really is an appropriate timetable, then attach a date to it. The date serves as an anchor in time that brings the goal closer to you every single day. Without a date, “next year” is a dinghy thats aimlessly drifts along, endlessly out of reach.

Remember friends, tomorrow, soon, and next year may seem just around the corner, but sometimes they’re not.

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As the baby bump grows bigger and the end of November seems to approach more rapidly with each day, I’m having fun reflecting on the lessons I’m learning along the way… lessons that are specific to my situation of carrying our first baby (KoJu as the RodeoClown calls him/her, “Kotecki Junior”), but these lessons can also be applied to anyone looking to live life with less stress and more fun.

1. Take care of yourself. Eat foods that are good for you, drink water, exercise regularly, breathe deep, stretch daily, sleep long enough, and make an effort to stay on an even keel.

2. Don’t wait until you feel stressed to de-stress. Incorporate de-stressers into your day-to-day. Simple things like singing with your favorite tunes in the car, taking a bath before bed, and shooting hoops after dinner. (It doesn’t have to be a $75 massage all of the time.)

3. Nesting is needed. Having things in order goes a long way towards helping you think clearer and more creatively.

4. Surprises are important. Not everything has to be instantly gratifying. As you can see the baby’s room is yellow… gender neutral. We have a big surprise to look forward to. Surprise those you love… just because. There’s something magical about a good surprise.

5. Accept change without resistance. Everything is evolving- relationships, feelings, responsibilities, seasons, heck- even our bodies! The sooner you roll with the punches, the better off you’ll be.

6. Enjoy the anticipation. I’m convinced that anticipation is sometimes even more exciting than the actual reality of that being anticipated. Savor it. Celebrate it. Delight in all of the joy it brings you.

7. Buck the system. Don’t live by rules that don’t exist. If everyone tells you things must go a certain way, prove them wrong.

8. Revel in family treasures. You don’t need to accumulate much in life, but honor the treasures that connect you to those you love. Those two plastic giraffes hanging on the wall also once hung in Jason’s nursery, some thirty-two years ago. So cool.

9. Don’t make excuses. Own up to the reality of your situation. Yes, I pigged out on cookies recently, but I would’ve done that pre-preggers, so it’s not fair to blame it on the baby.

It’s quite an exhilarating journey! All of life is!

By the way, if you’re wondering what inspired the giraffe theme, watch this.

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Jason loves to surprise me. One day a few weeks ago while I was on a walk with a friend, he busily scurried around to paint the nursery, then he patiently waited for me to go in there and notice, which was about 10 hours of waiting! (I would never have been able to wait that long!) Another morning, after talking the day before about the fact that Coldplay was coming to Chicago, he surprised me by sharing that he got us two tickets. (WOO HOO!) His love of surprises is a very childlike trait! And it’s sure fun to be on the receiving end.

The concert, Coldplay’s Viva La Vida Tour, was this last Tuesday at the United Center and to say it was awesome would be a huge understatement! What a delight to hear their distinctive tunes live… unbelievable! For those of you who’ve downloaded our recent magazine about music, you already know what Jason and I think of live music.

Not a surprise, it was a sold-out show. The crowd was eager. As we waited for the concert to start, Jason and I shared smiles and comments about a very cute couple in front of us to the left. They happened to be baby boomers, showing oodles of anticipation, literally sitting at the edge of their seats. They passed the time with their digital camera, taking turns reaching out an arm to capture both of them in that classic couple pose. Their enthusiasm was oozing.

Meanwhile, of the 24,000 people there, I was lucky enough to sit next to what must’ve been a relative of the Adultitis Guy. He was a Gen-Y’er, half the age of the couple in front of us. He was there with his girlfriend and although he didn’t seem unhappy to be there, his true colors were soon to shine when Chris Martin took the stage.

Here’s how it went down. The concert started with the acoustic tune Life In Technicolor. Everyone screamed… and immediately the woman in front of us jumped anxiously to her feet, screaming and cheering with her hands in the air. She was pumped! (As were we!) This was the moment we all had been waiting for (especially through two very horrific opening acts). Except for a few slow songs, in which everyone around us sat for a rest, the woman ahead of us stood for about 90% of the concert, much to the chagrin of my neighbor to the left. He sulked, sighed, shook his head, shrugged his shoulders, and spent much of his energy being distracted. In his defense, her standing prevented him from seeing the stage, but there was one very simple solution. So badly I wanted to turn to him and say, “Buddy, let it go and stand up, already. You’re at a rock concert for Pete’s sake! Live a little!”

Doesn’t it all come down to your attitude? I’m sure his concert was somewhat, if not totally, ruined because of this childlike woman who seemed to squeeze every ounce of enjoyment out of each chorus and hook. Such a shame to pay so much money and end up pouting… what a childish display!

In life, circumstances are often out of your control, but wisdom and peace is found when you make the effort to change your attitude. I wish, for his sake, that this 20-something would’ve had the perspective to do so.

This whole display reminded me of how unimportant age really is. It means nothing! It’s all about your attitude and actions, not how many candles cover your cake each year. Ironically, the wisdom to let go and be more childlike often comes with age.

I want to die young at a ripe old age. -Ashley Montagu

I found a clip on YouTube of a song from our concert. Chris (the lead singer) often reminds me of the Charlie Brown dancers. His childlike movements are so much fun to watch! Enjoy…

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Last night Jason was enjoying the All-Star game and while flipping channels at the commercial break he saw a promo for the evening news. “The fourth Madison murder this year! Is this a growing problem? Are you safe?” Something tells me that watching that news clip would’ve helped me sleep like a baby last night. (catching the sarcasm, here?)

There’s a huge distance between being informed and fear mongering. Not to be a media basher, but the reality is that bad new sells.

Here’s a sampling of the top news stories in Madison last night…
Murder on Madison’s South Side, Abduction Investigation, GM to Speed Up Closure of Janesville Plant, On the Menu: Higher Prices?, Madison Bus Driver Could Face Felony Charges.

Not that I’m advocating denial here, but do we need this negative programming right before our night of rest? It’s no surprise that there’s a major connection between lack of sleep and stress levels. With that in mind, I share with you the following…

Top 5 Ways to Sleep Well at Night

1. Do not watch the news.
2. Do not watch the news.
3. Do not watch the news.
4. Do not watch the news.
5. Do not watch the news.

Jason and I rarely ever watch the news. I get my news from USA Today’s breaking news email alerts. Everything else, locally, that is newsworthy certainly finds it’s way to my ears without my help- grocery store check-out lines, the talk from people after church, or headlines on the newspapers I step over on my daily walk.

Do yourself a favor and limit your intake of fear. It goes a long way on your journey to fight Adultitis.

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I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that my childhood summers were “the good ‘ol days.” Truly the lazy days of life. Why not recapture some of those moments as grown-ups? It’s a surefire way to annihilate any Adultitis in your life.

If you haven’t done one of these five things this summer, you need to get out your calendar and schedule one in… NOW.

1. Catch a lightening bug and put it in a jar in your bedroom.

2. Grill out and have a picnic. Don’t forget the sweet corn and cherry pie.

3. Go to an ice cream stand and get a treat, the more scoops the better.

4. Lay under the stars with a friend and dream together.

5. Go to a drive-in movie. (There are still 500 operating theaters in the U.S. Find one near you.)

What’s your favorite summer staple?

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This week’s Escape Plan challenge (aka our Tip of the Week) is #9: Rebel With a Cause: Do one thing today to support a cause or issue you really care about.

Do you have a cause that tugs at your heart strings so much that it will bring you to tears (or close to it) in the matter of seconds? Whatever that cause or issue is, I hope you’re taking the time to share your gifts and talents in support of it. In the spirit of this week’s tip, I’m going to do the challenge, myself, by sharing with you about something cool happening this week, on a TV near you!

Many of you already know that Jason and I are VERY passionate about the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Serving as volunteers in the Wisconsin chapter, we’ve been able to experience the power of a child’s wish first-hand for the past six years of so. The organization does the work of angels, day in and day out.

This week ESPN is continuing it’s support of MAW for the third year in a row, highlighting sports related wishes in their My Wish series. Click here to watch yesterday’s segment featuring a fourteen-year-old boy named Akeem who is paralyzed from the neck down. His wish was to meet Ben Roethlisberger and to play video games with him. (You’ll never guess who won!) The new MY Wish segments are on each night this week at 6PM ET. They’re on again in the mornings, around 10AM ET. The special attention and care these athletes give is such a priceless gift to kids who’ve had to grow up way too fast.

Tell a friend (or two.. or three) about ESPN’s My Wish segments this week, and let the magic of MAW inspire you, as it has inspired us!

What’s your cause? How will you show support this week? Share with us in the comments of the Escape Plan blog!

For it is in giving that we receive. -St. Francis Of Assisi

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How old were you when you did your first stress-relieving deep breathing exercise?

The NBC station in Charleston, SC recently did a story on the way a local middle school is reacting to the stress levels of their students. They now provide weekly announcements which include deep breathing and positive thinking exercises.

Students of every age are feeling pressure too from high homework loads, to overscheduled days. Cardiologist Dr. John Kennedy says ‘we all have stress in our lives so if you can teach kids to manage it early, we can protect them from the chronic problems of stress later in life.’

Agree?

Sure. Kids should learn how to react to the stress they are feeling. I have no doubt that today’s average middle schooler is quite stressed. Teaching kids to manage stress early is quite a good idea.

Here’s my problem…

This “solution,” although helping the short-term, is like putting gum on a crack in the Hoover Damn. Simply not going to cut it!

You have to go to the root of the problem to eliminate the stressors now before they linger into adulthood. It comes down to lifestyle choices… and honestly, much of this comes down to whether or not parents are setting adequate limits AND consistently enforcing them. How many extracurricular activities are these stressed kids enrolled in? I’ve heard (again and again) the argument that kids should participate in a variety of things so that that they will be well-rounded and have the opportunity to explore new interests that will help them later in life, but if the kids are feeling stressed by their schedule, then the negative effects are outweighing the positive. It’s time to say no to some things.

Then there’s the homework issue. I think schools are overloading kids with homework. Not every school and not every teacher, but I know it’s happening. I saw it when I was teaching. There’s nothing worse than homework that is “busy work”… the thematic crossword puzzles, the school projects that have very little meaning behind them. There’s something to be said for maximizing the seven daytime hours that are already spent in the classroom. It’s almost like we’re training kids to be workaholics, telling them that their daytime work is not enough, that they must also work into the evening. What a strange message to send.

Overall stability in the family is also a key element for a stress-free childhood. Stability comes in many forms. Are the parents frequently stressed? Are they able to eat dinner together with their family on a regular basis? Are they getting a solid night of sleep? How much time are they playing video games, on the phone, or on the computer? Are they able to watch anything they want on TV, being exposed to all of the societal crap that leads to enhanced peer pressure and self-consciousness? They have enough “reality” in the halls of their school, without being influenced by the crap on shows like Rock of Love or America’s Next Top Model.

No, it’s not healthy to shelter kids or force to live a 1950’s life in this naturally fast-paced culture, however I think many kids suffering from stress (Juvenile Adultitis) are missing out on the best parts of being a kid and are being forced to grow up way to quickly.

What do you think?

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This week’s Escape Plan challenge (aka our Tip of the Week) is: #10: Memory Maker: Create a memory today with someone you care about that will mean a lot ten years from now.

Last week Jason and I made one such memory. We had the opportunity to tour one of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobiles. Living in Madison, the official home base of the Weinermobiles, we’ve seen them around town a number of times. We have never had the chance to get a tour, though, from the official Hotdoggers (the team that drive and maintain the 27 foot long hot dogs on wheels). It was definitely a memory that Jason and I will share for well over ten years.

Summer is filled with opportunities to make memories. Whether it’s a baseball game, a pool party, or just grilling out with friends, take the time to slow down to a speed that allows for memory making.

This was one of MANY memories we made in the last seven days. Club K&J members will soon find out why we made so many fun memories last week… stay tuned.

Share with us in the comments of the Escape Plan Blog what you do this week to create a memory that will make you smile in 2018.

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What happened to the lazy days of a child’s summer vacation?

When we first moved to Madison eight years ago I spent the summer working for a summer daycare/day camp. We had third through fifth graders. The daycare hours were 7AM- 6PM. This was the first time my eyes were opened to the reality of what summer vacation is like for many modern kids. As one of the many “teachers” we tried to give the kids unstructured time, in order to let them feel like they could enjoy the lazy days of summer. Honestly, though, there is only so much you can do. Maintaining sanity and safely in a program with 50- 75 kids on any given day requires structure. Lunch is served just like at school. Activities are planned, in order to keep order and balance. That’s a lot of kids to manage!

The kids were great, but I saw a cloud of disappointment over many of them that I just couldn’t shake. It took me a while to figure it out, but once I did it bothered me beyond belief and I was not able to participate as a teacher the following summer. It all came down to freedom- the freedom of summer, and many of these kids felt resentful of the school-like atmosphere. They wanted to be home… and free to do what THEY wanted to do. I couldn’t blame them!

I realize that the dual-parent career and single-parent households have little choice but to enroll their kids in a summer day camp setting. Many kids thrive on it (I’m guessing kids who are naturally extroverts), but for the introverted kids (at least 1/4 of them), a summer day camp can be a nightmare. By the way, for those of you who think being introverted means that you are shy, please read this article: “The Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts.”

So, what can working and single parents do to avoid resentment and allow their children the opportunity to experience the freedom of summer, that many of us look back on with delight?

Here are a few ideas…

1. Talk to your boss. Try to change your work schedule for the summer so that you work longer days, but get a day off each week, enabling your child to have a three-day weekend at home every single week. (Key point: DO NOT fill your long weekends. Keep them low-key and lazy.)
2. If you have a job that can be done from home, ask your boss if you can work from home a few days a week. Start on a trial basis, to show him/her that you will, indeed, accomplish your work. This will allow your child the chance to be in his/her own setting throughout the day.
3. Hire an in home babysitter. Trustworthy high school students are perfect for summer baby sitting jobs. If the cost is just too high, join households with a neighboring family (or two) and have the babysitter trade off which house is the host each day. A group of 5-8 kids is still better than a group of 55 kids. If you don’t know any high school students, talk to the principal of the local high school or the pastor of your church.
4. If you must enroll your kids in the day camp setting, limit the hours so that they are not there at 7AM and picked up at 6PM. Also, make sure their evenings and weekends are empty. No extracurriculars PERIOD. Since their day times are structured, provide for them the freedom of summer in different places.

Finally, a combination of the above ideas may work also. Here’s the bottom line… you need to ask yourself if you are living by rules that don’t exist. Don’t allow society and social pressures to convince you that it just “has to be this way.” YOU are in charge of your choices. Don’t blame others for what your reality is. Get creative.

Your kids will thank you later!

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