I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what college will look like when Lucy is ready to graduate high school. It fascinates me, because considering that she’s only fourteen months old as I write this, I only know it will look nothing like it does right now.

Degrees earned online used to be the domain of people looking for a promotion or a new career and already juggling a job and family. But now I’m seeing commercials of college-aged students talking about taking classes online. iTunes U is filled with audio downloads of educational courses from some of the most highly regarded institutions of higher learning. And increasingly, degrees from traditional universities are becoming worth less while costing more than ever.

When I was in college, email was just coming on the scene. Dial-up was the norm. And my walks to class were accompanied by a Walkman, because iPods hadn’t been invented yet.

This was only ten years ago.

Things are changing fast, and the rate of change is getting ever faster.

What will college look like in 18 years? The experts barely have a clue what next year will bring, let alone five years from now.

Eighteen years from now is completely up for grabs. It’s very possible that college as we know it — the kind with heavy textbooks, ivy-lined brick walls, and ginormous tuitions — will no longer exist. Seth Godin has effectively proven that the benefits of an MBA can be achieved –and exceeded — without going $100,000 into debt.

It seems to me that now, more than ever, we need to embrace a childlike spirit in order to navigate future that awaits us. You can succumb to Adultitis, get all curmudgeony, and resist the changes, wishing for things to stay the same, or worse yet, expecting that they will. Or you can tap into the open-minded spirit of childhood to curiously ask new questions, create new paths, and see the changes that are coming as an opportunity for a great adventure.

You’ve been warned: Stay shackled by Adultitis, and you’ll be left behind.

The future belongs to the childlike.

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photo by frippy

Adultitis is also severely contagious, so if you’re around others who are living with the disease, you might want to run for the hills — seriously.

But most of the time, the way you come down with a case of Adultitis is a direct result of the teeny tiny annoying moments that pop up in your day. The dirty little secret is that most of these things are avoidable. And, trust me, these little things can really add up — like unwelcome ants on a picnic blanket. It starts with one or two (ah, aren’t they kind of cute), then before you know it the whole picnic is ruined and you’re eating in the car. Yikes.

So what do you do about it? Well, in an effort to proactively avoid some of these daily hassles (combating Adultitis head-on), I have come up with a strategy in my own life that I encourage you to try.

Make a list of your daily annoyances.

You know what I’m referring to; those things, that when they happen, leave you cursing, banging your fist on something hard, or even throwing a grown-up mental tantrum. (Don’t tell me you’ve never had one of these – they are quite glamorous, after all.) Once you have your list, take each pesky problem one by one and uncover a way to zap it from existence.

Here’s my list — it’s surprisingly simple stuff. Maybe this will help inspire you to get your own list going, bringing you one step closer to taming Adultitis.

1. Invest in a quality stapler.
Currently, I am knee-deep in details for our upcoming speaking programs for the spring. Lots of paper shuffling and file management in an effort to make sure nothing gets missed. I go to grab the stapler and BOOM — jammed. Aye Yay Yay! A friend of mine on FB suggested Red Springline all the way. (Thanks Jeff G!)

2. Create a TP system.
Life is busy. Sometime (honestly, most times) little details like toilet paper stock management are not making the top of the to-do list. You know what happens when this is overlooked, though — lavatory SOS. One lonely square of Charmin left on the roll + no rolls in the closet = panic mode. Initiate a system in which you have to replenish the stash when you take the last roll from the closet, NOT when you take the last square from the roll.

3. Manage birthday reminders.
Nothing says “Happy Birthday” to a friend like actually saying Happy Birthday to a friend. It’s obvious when you forget. But, honestly, I don’t even know what day it is myself most of the time. Subscribe to one of those free online birthday reminders. They send you an email with reminders. Tip: schedule the reminder for a few days before so you have time to mail a card.

4. Buy a milking cow.
No, you don’t have to move to a dairy farm to make sure you don’t run out of milk. But, I know Jerry Seinfeld would agree that there’s nothing worse than picking up the milk in the morning to pour into your cereal and the carton is too light. Either buy two cartons at a time or make a mid-week milk stop part of your weekly routine. There is nothing sadder than a lonely — and dry — Oreo.

5. Reset your clocks.
As much as I try to be on time for things, I seem to be the “5 minutes late” gal. It’s always exactly five minutes. So, why not time warp reality? Set the clocks a few minutes fast so that you can be on time. The trick is to convince yourself that your clocks are correct, and not rely on the fact that you actually have a few free minutes to play with because your clocks are fast. Head games…aren’t they fun?

6. Plan your meals ahead.
Nothing screams take-out like a hungry family and a clueless cook. Ordering out can really add up. Plan your meals the week before, right before you go grocery shopping for the week to ensure you don’t find yourself an egg short. This takes a great deal of stress out of the day-to-day, especially when you’re already grumpy because your tummy is growling.

7. Invite VM to be your friend.
Voicemail was created for good reason. You don’t have to answer every call. In fact, you shouldn’t. Set boundaries on your phone habits so that you can have a relaxing evening with your family without being interrupted by a caller who could’ve easily waited until the next day.

8. Get some Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones
Looking for a quiet night of sleep? Does having a teething one-year-old keep you up at night? (or is it just ME!) Just kidding… ;) Sometimes you have to suck it up. This too shall pass.

So, what annoys YOU? Traffic? Noisy neighbors? Holes in your socks? Trying to remember your millions of passwords? ATM fees? A dead cell phone battery? Inaccurate weather forecasts? Slow internet service? Running out of ink in your printer? Negative news? Waiting for repair people? Spam? Empty gas tanks?

Share one thing that you’ll do to tame Adultitis this week by tackling your daily annoyance head-on.

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It’s easier to be a human doing than a human being.

I have the good fortune of spending two hours each morning with a little bundle of energy known as Lucy. She recently became interested in bringing me books to read to her. I enjoy this new level of interactivity, even though the subject matter is less than stellar. The ones she seems to enjoy the most are the ones with the least regard for a plot (unless you consider journeying through the alphabet from A to Z captivation of the highest order).

During our time together, I too often I operate under the premise that I only have two options in how I spend the time. One allows me to be actively engaged with her, reading books or playing side-by-side. The other option, if she is playing contentedly by herself, insists that I should have my laptop open and use the opportunity to get something productive done. Like coming up with an idea for a blog post.

I was reminded today that there is actually a third choice.

The third choice, effectively labeled “none of the above,” is a pretty simple one, although surprisingly hard:

Just be.

So I tried it. I just sat on the ground, with my back against the couch, in silence. I gave myself permission to leave my laptop right where it was — closed. I watched Lucy go about her business from one toy to the next. I started paying attention to my breathing, making a conscious effort to slow it down. I marveled at my ability to easily detach from myself and get lost in contemplation. Then I looked at the clock.

Exactly one minute had passed.

Ahem.

Undeterred, I got back to breathing. Eventually, I really was able to let go. I watched Lucy play, without giving in to the urges to help her correctly stack the blocks or shower her with positive feedback. Instead, I chuckled at how she waddled from one thing to the next on legs that weren’t as fast as her mind. I noticed the sunlight shining on her hair. I marveled at how tall she’s gotten. I just enjoyed being in her presence.

All in all, it was the best fifteen minutes I’d spent in weeks. Peaceful. Relaxing. Energizing.

It took a while to let go of the idea that I should be “doing” something. But once I was able to finally let go and just “be” in the moment, an amazing sense of peace came over me. I felt present. I wasn’t worried or anxious about anything. I experienced a deep sense of gratitude for my life, my home, and my little girl.

And lo and behold, I came up with the idea for this blog post.

There’s a good chance that this little story sounds appealing to you — a chance to do nothing? How great would that be?! But alas, the loudest of the inner voices shouting within you exclaims that you don’t have the time to just be.

The loudest of your inner voices is often the stupidest.

During the course of your day, you have plenty of opportunities to just be, even for just 5 or 15 minutes. In the shower. During your commute. Waiting in line. The real problem is that you don’t take advantage of the opportunities when they come, because the whole process is so dang uncomfortable.

Your mind is uncomfortable with the silence because you are so conditioned to the noise.

The lack of movement is unsettling because you’re always on the go.

Not to mention, it’s almost impossible to feel productive when you’re just “being.” And productivity is our favorite drug of choice.

So since it is easier to be a human doing, that is exactly what we do.

The thing that makes music beautiful is not just the notes, but the space of nothingness between them. Were it not for the spaces of nothingness, music would be like an annoying fire alarm. And when we busy ourselves doing anything we can, doesn’t life sometimes seem like that? Loud. Frantic. Unrelenting. Overwhelming. Stressful.

It takes practice to embrace those five minute chunks of time each day provides and use them to just be. It’s hard. But don’t let the difficulty discourage you. It gets easier the more you do it.

It may be easier to be a human doing than a human being. But if you want a life that isn’t burdened by stress and Adultitis, you might want to practice the “being” part a bit more.

Let some quiet spaces into your life and enjoy for yourself the symphony of the human experience.

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We hope you and your family are having a wonderful holiday season. It can be the most joyful time of year, unless someone with a serious case of Adultitis shows up. Treatment is available, but awareness is the key. Both Ebeneezer Scrooge and the Grinch were Adultitis survivors, so there is hope. We decided to use this post to highlight a few videos that may be of help.

The first is a case study released by the Cure Adultitis Institute back in 2007. It shows just how serious a full-blown case of Adultitis can be.

This next one is episode #1 of The Escape Adulthood Show. In it you’ll find an in-depth report of the fellow known only as “The Adultitis Guy.” Pretty grim stuff. The report begins at about the 1:00 mark.

And finally, there was too much footage than we could use in the previously mention investigate report, so here are some outtakes. Watch this to learn more about his views on the value of gifts and the cons of putting up Christmas lights.

Please pass this post to friends and family, and maybe together, we can help make next Christmas Adultitis-free.

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Cut from the same cloth as Laurel and Hardy, Bert and Ernie are Sesame Street’s classic comedic duo. They were the only Muppets to appear in the 1969 pilot episode. Their appearance was the only segment that tested well, which led to the decision that Muppet characters would be the “stars” of the show.

Over the years, Bert and Ernie have helped many kids strengthen their math and language skills while learning about important concepts like sharing and cooperation. Even though the show is geared toward children, there are actually some pretty good lessons we can all learn about dealing with Adultitis from our old friends residing at 123 Sesame Street…

1) Take More Baths
One of Ernie’s favorite things to do is take baths with his rubber duckie. (Did you know that his performance of “Rubber Duckie” landed him at No. 16 on the Billboard Hot 100 in September 1970?)

We don’t take enough baths these days. In our society, most young children take baths. Most adults take showers. Is it any surprise that kids are way less stressed than most adults?

When Kim and I give Lucy a bath (which she loves), the getting clean part is a byproduct. To Lucy, splashing around and having fun are the main attractions. Her little fingers and toes turn to raisins long before she’s ready to get out.

For us adults, it’s a different story. Showers trump baths because they fit better into our busy lifestyle. We’ve even combined shampoo and conditioner in order to streamline the process even further. It takes time to enjoy a good bath, and nobody has much of that these days.

[ Interesting fact: The amount of time in an average day in 1909 compared to 2009 has decreased by an alarming 0%. ]

Ironically, the exact way to create more time and experience more balance is by doing less. The genius of utilizing the bath for sinking stress is precisely the fact that it requires time. Time that can be used to stop. To think. To breathe. To be.

Ernie has always known that baths are where it’s at.

2) Hang Out with Childlike People
One of the things that keeps strait-laced Bert from experiencing full-blown Adultitis is the fact that he hangs out with Ernie. Ernie keeps Bert in balance. Just imagine how much worse Bert would be if he hung out with Oscar the Grouch all day long!

There are certain people who have the uncanny ability to suck the life, optimism, and energy out of any room they enter. My friend Lisa calls these people Energy Vampires.

The sad truth is that Adultitis is contagious. The good news is that so is a childlike spirit. If you want to decrease the Adultitis in your life, hang out with more Ernies and less Oscars.

3) Have a Hobby
Bert has a long list of hobbies and interests, including playing checkers with his pet pigeon, Bernice, and collecting bottle caps and paper clips. Bert also loves brass band music, oatmeal, weather forecasts and playing the tuba. Ernie’s favorite hobby seems to be playing practical jokes on Bert.

We all need hobbies as a way of releasing stress. Carving a little “me” time into your day is imperative in your fight against Adultitis. Sure, the amount of time might look different for a stay-at-home mom of five compared to a retired widower, but fifteen minutes a day, or a solid hour or two a week can go a long way. Hobbies help recharge us and fill us up, and you can’t help anybody else if you’ve got nothing left to give.

I believe a good hobby is 1) pretty much anything that you enjoy doing just because, and 2) something that gives you a bit of a a mental or physical workout. Things like Scrapbooking. Building a model railroad. Gardening. Golfing. Photography. Woodworking. Cooking. Scuba diving. And yes, even playing the tuba.

(And no, watching TV for three or more hours a day is NOT a good hobby.)

4) Be Quirky
Okay, so Bert’s hobbies are a little weird. Bottle caps? Oatmeal? Did I mention that he is also the President of the National Association of W Lovers?

Guess what?

Everybody is a little weird.

We all have our own quirks that make us unique. For instance, I have an unhealthy admiration for a fictional character named Horatio Caine. I’ve named every Mac I’ve ever owned. (So far I’ve welcomed Godfather, Ferris, Superman, and Castor into the family.) I enjoy watching wrestling documentaries with my brother. I am a font nerd.

The surest path to a serious case of Adultitis is trying to keep up with what everyone else is interested in while suppressing your own interests and idiosyncrasies. You weren’t born to blend in.

Be you.

The people in life who are most liked, most successful, and most happy are those who are not afraid to be themselves. They are comfortable in their own skin, even if their skin is made of fabric.

So there you have it. Some pretty big life lessons from a couple of humble Muppets. What did I miss? What’s something you’ve learned about life from Bert and Ernie?

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photo by mauren veras

Kim came across a story in which a man was denied a first class upgrade on a United flight by a gate agent because we was dressed “too casually.” He was wearing a track suit.

Good thing he wasn’t wearing a clown suit; he’d be deported by now.

It looks like a classic case of Adultitis, and I consider myself lucky that it wasn’t me. You see, my standard travel garb is almost always a pair of Adidas track pants and a Mr. Incredible t-shirt (for good luck.) I’ve been upgraded to first class on a number of occasions, clearly not realizing how fortunate I was.

I wonder what other stipulations the agent puts on first class flyers. Is everyone required to tap away incessantly on their laptops, taking breaks only to talk about how bad the economy is or sigh loudly when it’s announced that the flight will be delayed? Laughing must surely be outlawed, but what’s the punishment for a smile? An extra helping of airline food?

In a follow-up story, United Airlines was quick to point out that the gate agent is a contract employee who works for Air Wisconsin. They also said they’re investigating the incident. According to the airline, although there is no dress code, there are two rules: Ticketed passengers can not be barefoot and must be clothed.

[Side note: I can't help but wonder about the origin of these rules. Have they actually had naked people try to board a flight? Or did they create the rule preemptively, thinking, "We'd better figure out a way to keep all those naked people I see walking through the airport from coming on OUR planes!"]

Whether or not this incident reflects United’s corporate culture or it was simply a rogue agent acting alone, the fact remains that every airline I’ve encountered is bursting with high levels of Adultitis. It seems like Southwest Airlines keeps things fun, but I can’t speak from experience because they don’t service Madison. The only Adultitis antidote I’ve discovered for air travel is the technique of bringing a baby with you. Smiles and good service are guaranteed.

I realize that air travel is a stressful industry across the board. But I can’t help but think how easy it would be to make noticeable changes. For instance, don’t just tell us our flight is delayed. Explain why. Err on the side of giving us too much information, and don’t treat us like your slaves. Let us keep our shoes on in the security lines. Smile more (or at the very least, pretend like you give a damn).

For the overachieving airlines (if there are any), here are a few ways to take things to the next level and create raving fans:

• Instead of peanuts, serve Cracker Jacks (with a prize inside.)
• Hire more comedians to serve as flight attendants, or require your current people to take improv classes.
• Paint cool murals on the planes, a la the Cow Parade that’s been held in Chicago and other cities.
• Draw random seat numbers for door prizes, which might be 500 extra bonus miles, a free drink, or a gift certificate to an airport restaurant.

What about you? What are some ways you think the airlines could make flying more fun? Share your ideas in the comments.

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I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but the economy is bad. Like, really bad. It’s not a good time to go out and do anything outlandish, like start a business or invest in learning a new skill. You definitely want to keep risk taking to a minimum, that’s for sure. Oh, and the housing market is still pretty bad — and we’re now getting into the worst part of the year — so don’t even think about trying to sell your home, because no one will buy it. It’s always better to not try at all than to try and fail and be disappointed, right?

*Ahem.*

Dream stealers with Adultitis are everywhere. You can find them on TV, giving their opinions on the “news.” You can find them in universities, citing facts and figures for why the way things are now are as bad as they’ve ever been. You can find them in counseling offices, helpfully suggesting that maybe you should give up this because you’re really better suited for something safe like that. You might even find them on the street corner, in the conference room, at the barber shop, or in your own home.

True dreamers know times like these present a unique set of challenges, but not without a unique set of opportunities. True dreamers know that in order to become an overnight success, you have to work your face off. And true dreamers protect their dream, no matter what anybody says.

“Those who say it can’t be done are usually interrupted by others doing it.” — James Baldwin

Don’t ever let somebody tell you you can’t do something. Just because it’s hard or unlikely or never been done doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

[ Hat tip for the video to Fallible Blogma ]

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photo by pluca

People are freaking out about the swine flu! Talk of it is everywhere. Heck, it’s a national emergency. Vaccinations! Hospitalizations! Deaths! I am in agreement that this is serious stuff. I’m taking precautions, believe me. However…dare I say there is a silent epidemic sweeping the globe that is far deadlier than any flu?

There is, indeed! It’s sneaking into almost EVERY household without even the thought of a vaccination.

Adultitis.

Did you know that if you are one of the 95% of adults living with Adultitis that you are more susceptible to contracting H1N1 than the few folks who don’t have it? It weakens your immune system — big time! Adultitis can sneak up on you when you least expect it. In fact, if you have laughed less than 15 times today, you are probably struggling with a VERY serious case. Get tested NOW!

Us folks at the Cure Adultitis Institute are always on the lookout for ways to prevent and cure this deadly disease. When we find tips, we like to get them to you as soon as possible so you can fight the good fight against this silent monster.

There are countless easy prescriptions to prevent and treat Adultitis without having to get stuck with a needle. (Yay – I hate needles!) In fact, I am excitedly participating in one this Saturday. The Levity Project is coming to Chicago!! You may remember that Lance Ekum from Jungle of Life, along with Jason and I, hosted a Levity Project Laughter Flash back in August. It was a blast! Check out the video here.

Well, The Levity Project brainchild, Katie West (The Levity Coach™), is gathering together folks from all over the Midwest (and beyond!) to meet up on Chicago this Saturday, November 7th, from 11:00-1:00. We’ll be riding a double decker bus in downtown Chicago and participating in three different levity experiences as a group. Why? Well, as Katie shares on her blog:

A. because it is wicked fun, adventurous and cool thing to do. B. Because they believe the world needs greater lightness and joy! And this is a fun way to shake it up! Let’s create social change through laughter, play, and celebration together. Cheers to fostering a lighter society.

Amen, sister!

Lance and I are road-triping from Wisconsin together to be a part of this fabulous Adultitis-preventing event. Forget your antibacterial soaps or face masks this weekend, we’re going to have some good ‘ol fashion fun as a way to prevent flu, heart attacks, depression, and even simple old cases of the grumpies. I hope my face hurts from smiling so much. Hope to see you there!

photo by hayopsaganda

I feel like I need to take a shower. Kim and I just got done doing a business-themed radio interview with a couple of female hosts who were two of the most Adultitis-ridden people I’ve come across in some time. Arrogant and pessimistic, the duo was unprepared, unenthusiastic, and utterly unhappy.

I normally have a great time doing interviews, but not this one. It was an hour in hell.

I should have known from the start we were in trouble when one of the hosts started talking about how she was going to Chuck E. Cheese’s to help celebrate her grandchild’s birthday. I thought she was sharing this as an example of how she’d be escaping adulthood, but instead she proceeded to lament about how much she dreaded going.

Kim and I tried our best to keep a positive spin on things and attempt to offer the listeners helpful insights. I’d hoped that I could say something that would bring a little light into the lives of the hosts. But I knew I faced an uphill battle. I learned long ago, that despite my best efforts, it’s impossible to make a dent in someone with full-blown Adultitis. For one, they don’t ever admit they have it. And because of that, they aren’t open to any kind of change.

It became pretty clear that they were more interested in hearing themselves talk. They barely knew what we did, didn’t know our website, and didn’t even know if we were husband and wife or brother and sister. I think we held our own, and gave out some good information.

Sometimes I wish I could be more unabashed in my opinion giving. I wish I wasn’t averse to hurting people’s feelings or caring so much what people think of me. Since I was raised to be polite, I kept a lot of thoughts to myself. But if I were brave, and living in Bizarro World, here is what I would have said:

* * * * *

(Click play to listen to my rant or keep on reading.)

I’m sure it must have been hard being a woman in business twenty years ago. I am sure that lots of people were waiting for you to fail. I don’t doubt that you felt you had to do twice the work to gain the acceptance of your male coworkers. But you did it. You took the slings and arrows. You persisted. You prevailed. You’re at the top of your field. You make a good salary. You have a great deal of influence in the community.

So why are you still so damn unhappy?

You can also complain all you want about the younger generation coming into the workforce with high expectations and an entitlement mentality. You say they don’t appreciate the value of hard work and what it really takes to make it in business because they’ve been used to winning more times than not and for getting trophies when they finished last.

But let me ask you this? Who raised this generation? Wasn’t that…you?

Perhaps you felt guilty because you worked so many hours and your kids spent so much time in day care that you gave toys and trophies at every turn to boost their shaky self-esteem and assure them that you did indeed love them. Perhaps you are now reaping what you sowed.

I also wanted to congratulate you for being so important that you have so many emails flooding your inbox. (It is after all, a competition, and you are clearly the winners.) Because you are so in demand, it’s impossible to keep up to it all, what with so many people expecting you to get back to them within minutes. And that stinks that the economy-inspired budget cuts have done away with your personal assistants that used to do your grunt work.

According to you, this overload is unavoidable. Your line of work insists upon this crazy pace, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Unless you want to get fired or something. Because as you seem to indicate, the only way to avoid losing your job in this terrible, terrible economy is to take your job (and yourself) as seriously as humanly possible and relinquish any hope of having time with the people you care the most about (unless those people are your co-workers.)

Guess what? Sorry to disappoint you, but you’re not the victim here. Someone gets the final say, and that person would be…you. I know it may be hard to believe, but you actually have control over your life. Shocking, isn’t it?!

But you’re probably right. Setting up limits for people on how to contact you and when they can expect a response is completely unrealistic and undoable. It’ll probably get you fired. And then you’ll end up homeless and starving on the street with absolutely no means to find another job (or create your own!)

Because after all, as you mentioned (about fifteen times), the economy is really, really bad. Funny I hadn’t heard about that before. Thanks for giving me a clue.

But here’s a thought: contrary to popular belief, just because the economy is in a recession doesn’t mean we all have to go around with furrowed brows and serious demeanors. Doom and gloom will get us nowhere, girls. Should we pretend that everything is all daisies and lollipops? Of course not. Clearly, we are living in uncertain times.

But are we ever living in certain times?

Pessimism is not the answer (oh, and I know you’d call it realism.) It’s terribly difficult to come up with creative solutions to our current problems when we’re choked with fear and worried about getting hit by pieces of the falling sky. In fact, a great way to sink your company even deeper in the hole is to stop smiling at customers, engage in pressure selling, and spend most of your time looking over your shoulder hoping to not be fired.

I know, I know, I’m just one of those unrealistic Generation Xers without a clue. Allow me to ask you just one final question:

What have you done today to add a little joy to your soul?

Nothing?

I thought so. Might want to start there, ladies.

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Adultitis is a chronic condition that plunders laughter, burns people out, and turns them into zombie-like doo-doo heads. It causes stress — lots of it. Sometimes it seems like stress and parenthood go hand in hand.

When my wife and I were expecting our first child, I was amazed at how many people came out of the woodwork to give us their advice and impressions on parenthood. Because I travel the country speaking to audiences about life balance and how to cure themselves from Adultitis, I opened myself up to many diverse points of view. More amazing than the sheer amount of opinion we received was the degree to which it varied.

After hearing our program, scores of people informed us that kids were the undisputed cause of Adultitis.

I remember the cab driver who told us that kids are not worth the investment because they grow up to hate you and won’t take care of you when you get old. Considering this little gem came after he admitted he spent most of his time gambling and pretty much drank himself to sleep every night, I took his opinion with a grain of salt.

Other people offered the ever common, “Get as much sleep as you can!” or “Enjoy your last days of freedom!” or the always uplifting, “Your life is over.”

Add to that mix the number of stern warnings about how certain foods or disciplinary techniques or sleeping schedules or brand of diapers can irreparably jack up your kid for life, and Kim and I were terribly concerned that this foray into parenthood was a colossal mistake…

[Read the rest of this article over at Dad-O-Matic, a cool site for Dads, by Dads.]

See more cakes gone wrong at Cakewrecks.com

I’ve been to a lot of weddings. Sometimes I’ve been in the audience, other times I’ve been an extra as a member of the wedding party, and once I was even in the supporting role (that’s high as guys can go — the bride is unquestionably the star). On the fun scale of social events, weddings are typically the polar opposite of funerals. But it’s funny to me how something that is supposed to be such a joyous and happy event often involves a big ol’ cloud of stress.

Maybe it’s due to the inordinate amount of time spent preparing for one day — that’s a lot of pressure. Maybe all the money invested entitles people to expect perfection. Or maybe one of the mothers involved had a sister who was killed by a tornado-tossed house. Whatever the case may be, stress and Adultitis are often uninvited guests at weddings.

To which I say, lighten the frick up, people.

Yes, everyone wants the wedding day to go well. But most of the time, things don’t go perfectly. Sometimes humidity makes the bride’s hair wig out. Sometimes it rains. Sometimes the roast beef is cold. Sometimes instead of walking down the aisle, the ring bearer goes running for the hills. Sometimes Uncle Rico doesn’t behave himself on the dance floor and gets slapped with another restraining order. And sometimes the priest ends his sermon with this little gem: “Let’s hope these two don’t end up a statistic.” (Yes, that really happened — I was there.)

In weddings, as in life, things out of our control go haywire. But what we can control is how we react to them. It’s  important to keep a little perspective. A wedding is one day. A marriage is forever. Unless a meteor falls on the church and kills the majority of people in attendance and — *gasp* — ruins the cake, almost everything that can go wrong on a wedding day is pretty minor. Besides, the crazy things that happen end up being the most treasured stories told for years to come.

Check out this video of a rather unique opening procession from a wedding. It single-handedly exorcized all Adultitis from the entire day.  (Hat tip to Eliz and Phil for the link.)

Call me a sappy nerd or hopeless romantic if you must, but I actually tear up a little bit when I watch it — I think it’s THAT refreshingly awesome. Now, not surprisingly, this video exploded and went viral. (Over 20 million views to date.) Why? Because it’s so gosh darn remarkable. To call it unusual would be an understatement. You NEVER see this sort of thing.

Which is entirely too bad.

So maybe you’re planning a wedding. Or maybe you have some other important day coming up. I invite you to think about what you could do to add something fun, unexpected, and authentic. Imagine coming up with an idea that elevates the event to something truly memorable. One completely Adultitis-free.

Now that’s what I call perfect.

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Nurses have a tough job. It’s understandably stressful to care for the wide range of patients who cross their paths as well as deal with the bureaucracy of the world of medicine. Like many care-giver professionals, these amazing people are susceptible to Adultitis.

Jason wrote a helpful article in Scrubs magazine outlining ways for nurses to treat the Adultitis in their lives.

Be curious.
It’s important to keep a childlike curiosity burning within you. The best nurses are the most curious ones. You may have heard the saying “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Asking your patient thoughtful questions—and not just the ones like “Does it hurt when I do this?”—is a great way to communicate caring. I’m not saying you have to put on a Barbara Walters special, especially when you have a heavy patient load. But sprinkling in a few curiosity-inspired questions (Who’s your hero? When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? What was your favorite toy?) goes a long way toward making the patient feel like she’s not just a number.

Read more of this insightful article and share it with the nurses in your life.

photo by calonda

With summer winding down, most kids are either back in school or soon will be. (I have to admit, not having to go to school is one of my favorite things about being an adult.) As school begins, stress levels mount — for children and their parents — leaving the door wide open for Adultitis. We collected a number of articles from our archives that will help you cope with the increase in busyness and give you some things to think about as the new school year kicks off.

• 4 Ways to Prevent Back-to-School Blues | A post about making the transition back to school a bit more palatable.
• The Root of the Problem | A post on how to REALLY help kids deal with stress.
• Ignore What Mom Said | A post challenging the conventional advice you received from Mom and your teachers.
• Do You Suffer From Sunday Night Dread? | A post about the icky feeling you get on Sunday nights during the school year (and what to do about it).
• 5 Ways to Prevent a Stressful School Year | A post about exactly what the title says.
• Yep, Tag is Way Too Dangerous | A post on the largely unknown dangers of a classic childhood game.
• The Price of Losing Free Play | A post about the bad things that happen when we don’t let kids have time to play.

If this whole talk about going back to school makes you feel a little nostalgic, check out this “Old School” hopscotch t-shirt and some other fun apparel that pays tribute to your favorite schoolyard games. Red Rover, anyone?

photo by talkingplant

The other night I was sitting in the backyard with my daughter Lucy. We were watching fireflies, aka lightning bugs. I tried catching one so she could see one up close, but chasing down a firefly in the dark with one hand while holding a baby in the other proved trickier than expected.

Deciding to just take in the scene, we sat on the deck and watched them go about their evening routine. Questions started popping into my head. What makes them glow? What purpose does the glowing serve, anyway? And where do they go during the day? After putting Lucy to bed, I decided I was going to do a little research online. After only about 10 minutes of web surfing, uncovered these interesting facts:

• Lightning bugs are actually a type of beetle. A ridiculously awesome flying and glowing beetle.
• The glowing is used as an attraction strategy in the mating process. So when your backyard is lit up by a bunch of lightning bugs, it means they’ve turned it into a nightclub.
• The insects are able to glow when they take in oxygen and, inside special cells, combine it with a substance called luciferin to produce light referred to as bioluminescence. (I want that!)
• Amazingly, almost 100% of the firefly’s light is given off as light. By comparison, a normal electric lightbulb gives off only 10% of its energy as light, while 90% is wasted as heat.
• Fireflies are nocturnal, so during the day, they’re sleeping.
• For some unknown reason, fireflies that glow are typically not found west of Kansas.
• They only live for about two months. (Which doesn’t make me feel so bad about scraping them along the sidewalk to create a flourescent smear when I was a kid.)*

Now, I believe there are three types of people in the world:

1) People who can sit in their backyard watching fireflies and never once wonder anything about them. These people are ridden with Adultitis. Their childlike curiosity apparently leaked out of their ear while they were sleeping one night while happily dreaming about filling out tax forms.

2) People who can sit in their backyard watching fireflies, have a few questions pop in their head, and do nothing about it. This is where the majority of people live. They have questions but don’t pursue any answers because they’re too busy, get distracted by something else, or rationalize that the answer has no bearing on their life whatsoever and conclude that it’s not worth the effort.

3) People who can sit in their backyard watching fireflies, have a few questions pop in their head, and go get answers. This is the Adultitis-free crowd. These are the folks who follow the example of children, who ask questions until they find an answer. In this particular example, I happen to fit here, but I must admit that I find myself in group number two way too often.

In our goal-driven, achievement-oriented society, we get caught up in the thinking that everything we do has to serve some practical end. But every aspect of our lives doesn’t have to be a step in some larger objective. And just because something is urgent doesn’t necessarily mean it’s important.

When we only follow the well-traveled freeways leading to known destinations, sometimes we find ourselves at a dead end.

When we don’t ever venture down the little side paths of life, the ones that don’t seem to lead anywhere particularly important, we run the risk of missing out on some wonderful experiences. Maybe they’ll lead to an innovative breakthrough on a problem we’ve been struggling to solve, or maybe they just enrich our lives with a new level of understanding and appreciation. Sometimes they lead us closer to God.

When you have a question, don’t stop there. Pursue the answers, no matter how insignificant they may seem. You never know what you might learn or where you’ll be led in the process.

*Lightning Bug Sources: Firefly Files, Backyard Nature, Bioluminescence Web Page, National Geographic.

Are you overwhelmed? It’s actually one of the worst symptoms of Adultitis. Feeling overwhelmed stinks and let’s be honest, adulthood sure invites this daily, with the bills and responsibilities and all. It’s suffocating. I wish I would’ve known when I was five just how good I had it. Being overwhelmed can leave you feeling like you’re submerged in quicksand and you’re watching yourself sink deeper and deeper. Yikes!  It clouds your mind, leaving you with little more than a zombie existence, until you’re able to snap out it. But how do you do that? You must prescribe for yourself one (or more) of the following nine treatment plans. Good luck!

1. Nap Attack
Sleep! Everyone loves it. Life is always better after you’ve gotten some Z’s. I am fond of the 20-minute recharge, myself. I look at power naps as if you’re restarting your computer. Start over with a fresher mind.

2. Scribble Scrabble
Many times overwhelm is the result of a very long to-do list existing only in your head. Grad a yellow pad and get it out. Write until your head is empty and you’ll have less clutter upstairs.

3. Laugh Like Crazy
One night while dealing with a teething infant I was starting to hit my limit. I turned on the TV and happened upon one of my favorite comedians, Jim Gaffigan. I laughed and laughed… and in no time at all, I was ready for another round of mama vs. teething.

4. Talk the Walk
Go for a walk with your best friend and hash it out. The combination of endorphins, friendship, and bringing your thoughts from your head to your mouth will culminate and leave you feeling much better.

5. Get Outside of Yourself
Take a minute to say a prayer. Breathe deep and meditate. Be mindful of the big picture and surrender the stress. Being mindful of God and putting your heart in a place where you’re open to love and peace seems to work for me every time.

6. I Scream, You Scream
This is not a tip about eating a large ice cream sundae, although I’ve never known that to hurt. Instead, go to a place of solitude (the car is a good choice) and scream at the top of your lungs. It feels awesome!

7. Your Favorite Thing
Julie Andrews knew what she was talking about in the movie, Sound of Music. Focusing on the things you like, versus the things that overwhelm you can often snap you out of your funk. Play “your” song, don your favorite shirt, eat your yummiest meal, buy your favoritest flowers for the kitchen.

8. Bread & Water
Chill out anti-carb folks… I’m not pushing bread. The point of this one is to make sure you are eating enough healthy food and drinking lots of water. You are much more susceptible to Adultitis when you are neglecting to nourish yourself properly.

9. Hit the Breaks
Change your plans so that you have time to regroup. Get a sitter or just make it a lazy family night with movies and pizza. Change your mindset about the personal expectations of the next 24 hours in order to reset yourself.

10. Turn Your Frown Upside Down
Smiles are contagious. Just by smiling you can cheer yourself up. So, do it! Do it! The old mantra is true…”Fake it ’til ya make it.”

One of the worst things about being a “grown-up” is the chores. Laundry, grocery shopping, mowing, cleaning the toilets, washing the floors, vacuuming. Enough already! The list is endless and there’s no motivation of getting that ever sought-after allowance at the end of the week (even if it was only a shiny quarter). With life being so demanding, when left with the choice of your chance for some much needed downtime/playtime, it’s painful to have to do chores instead. That’s where Adultitis pops up. You’re left with resentment, anger, and feelings of overwhelm. That’s no way to live, but someone’s got to get the tasks done.

I believe that we were put on this earth with special talents and interests unique to us. What you’re good at and enjoy is most likely the complete opposite of your neighbor. We all need each other in order to enjoy this journey. God made it that way. If you’re one of those “island dwellers” who prefers to do it all on your own, please prepare for the reality that you will be a stressed-out mess. Life is meant to be lived together, helping and loving each other along the way. With this in mind, here are my 5 ways to stop doing the chores you hate…

1. I’ll Trade Ya
We did this all of the time as kids. Bargaining, trading, swapping. It was a part of everyday life. I despise grocery shopping. Jason cannot stand yard work. I don’t mind yard work. He actually enjoys grocery shopping. It’s not rocket science, but it’s been a miraculous trade. Talk to your spouse, or those in your household, and find out what everyone hates to do, can tolerate and what chore they actually enjoy. These conversations will sure mix things up for the good.

2. Firehouse Feasts
When you cook for a firehouse, you make BIG portions. Partner up with another household or two (or three) and come up with some firehouse dishes that you all enjoy. Agree to divide and conquer by each taking a dish, making enough for each household and then sharing it. Wouldn’t you like to start a busy week with three meals in your fridge, and all you had to do was cook one big meal? Seems like a no-brainer to me.

3. You’re Hired
There will always be those chores that you end up doing “rock, paper, scissors” over. Identify the chore that induces Adultitis the most and hire it out. Get a neighbor kid to rake your leaves or ask a money hungry college student to clean your house every other week. If grocery shopping drives you crazy see if Peapod delivers to you. If you find yourself strapped for cash, give up something else in order to alleviate this Adultitis-ridden chore from your life. Let go of expanded cable or that extra meal out. There’s always something that can be cut.

4. S.O.S.
We all go through seasons in our lives when you simply need to ask for help. Maybe you just picked up a second job to make ends meet, your dad needs extra help getting back and forth to his medical treatments, or your family just welcomed a little baby and you are getting zero sleep. Whatever it is, it’s okay to ask for help. Often people on the outside want to help, but they also don’t want to intrude. They would say “yes” in a heartbeat if they knew you would allow their help. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and reach out for a helping hand. It’s as simple as asking.

5. You Betcha
Place fun-loving bets on everyday household events, in order to decide who does the worst chores. For instance, place a bet with your spouse on who will win the ball game on a certain night. The winner is exempt from doing the dreaded chore of the week. The bets can be about crazy things, like predicting which of your children will melt-down in the evening first, or what color car goes by your house next. Silly bets can get you laughing, which means that even if you lose, you’ll have a smile on your face as you do the chore. That’s gotta count for something.

P.S. Here’s a link to 10 unusual ways to have fun cleaning.

With Adultitis running rampant, it’s not a surprise that one of the major symptoms has become the new normal for many people. What am I speaking of? Being rushed. Do you ever feel rushed? Why? What makes you move so quickly? Whether you want to admit it or not, being rushed is one of the most unappealing traits that you can adopt. You’re letting your outside circumstances rule your reality. You are being reactive, instead of proactive. You say “yes” far too often. It’s time to stop.

In the last six months, in my efforts to adjust to being a mommy, I have had many a temptation to rush. Hurry and get that done while she’s sleeping… real quick, gotta get that phone call made while she’s in daddy’s arms. Go… go… go. When I catch myself running (even if only in my head), I stop and remind myself what the example of my behavior will teach Lucy. Yikes! That stops me in my tracks. Adultitis is highly contagious and as with every other disease out there, the weak and the young are the first to be susceptible. I also remind myself that Jesus was never rushed. He was here for a short 33 years (time was limited). He had a HUGE mission to accomplish (much bigger than yours or mine), and yet he modeled rest and prayer… two major ways to combat rushing.

Honestly, we should all be rushing around like chickens with our heads cut off. Our “to do” lists would attest to that, but it is simply no way to live. The dirty little secret is that if you are rushed all of the time sooner than later people will start to dislike being around you. The even dirtier secret is that you will inevitably start to dislike yourself. Stop the madness! Start with these five steps…

1. Do not over schedule yourself. There’s a lot of talk about kids being over scheduled, and this is often the case, as the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. As my dear friend and colleague Eliz Greene reminds people, saying no to something is actually saying yes to your family and yourself.

2. Lower your expectations. The house doesn’t have to be shiny. The clothes don’t always have to be ironed. Find a way within yourself to let some things go, so that you can create more time.

3. Breathe deep and often. Don’t wait until it’s too late to take some time for yourself. Would you rather have an overnight stay at a hospital or a resort? If the resort is just out of reach, how about an evening bubble bath, a morning walk, or just some silence in the car in the morning? These are all easy gifts to give yourself amidst the busyness.

4. Delegate and cooperate. Don’t be a martyr. Ask for help. Trade services with friends or coworkers. Divide chores in the household. Get creative in your schedule and be willing to admit that you cannot do it all. Jason and I are breaking all sorts of rules in the way we divide up the labor… he cooks, I clean. He grocery shops, I mow. Try to compromise and stick to the things you don’t hate to do.

5. Laugh and play everyday. You officially have permission to be childlike and to bring play back into your life. There’s no excuse for limited laughter in your life. With the Internet at your fingertips, there are countless sites that will help you increase your laugh quota for the day. Start with this one: Awkward Family Photos.

Over the past few years, I have watched more Jon & Kate Plus 8 than I care to admit. The wifey got me into it a few years ago. It’s not like we watch every episode, but it always seems to be on, and we get sucked in by something cute one of the kids says (like “I got to hit the tiñata.”).

Initially, I thought watching it made for pretty good birth control. Then Lucy came along and I began thanking my lucky stars that there weren’t five more of her in there. Now that I’m doing more of the grocery shopping, I am bombarded by the tabloids alerting me to the latest “scoop” on this couple now known by their famous first names. (Brangelina who?)

The season five premiere shattered TLC records, with about 10 million people tuning in to see what makes a train wreck look like a happy walk in a wading pool. It has followed the familiar arc of American celebrity: Someone rises up from obscurity to capture the hearts and minds of all the people only to be tarred and feathered (or worse) once we grow tired of them.

There is plenty of blame to go around for this monstrosity. Everybody is culpable, except the kids, who seem to always end up with the raw deal in these things.

Jon clearly wants to be done with the show. Kate clearly doesn’t. She has allowed cameras into her house for years, and now she’s complaining that there’s too much media attention. Both seem to favor the passive-aggressive mode of communication, which is widely known for its effectiveness. Not.

During one of the few times Jon and Kate were interviewed together, both claimed to be primarily concerned with doing what’s best for the kids, while conspicuously refraining from mentioning each other. It may come as news to them, but the best thing for the kids is for Mom and Dad to be together. And not in some charade in which they masquerade as “friends.” Kids are too smart for that.

I may be in the minority, but I don’t think all is lost for the Gosselin marriage. Surely there was a reason they fell in love, and I’d bet those reasons are still there — somewhere. But they need to start communicating, preferably off camera. If it were me, I’d kick out the cameras, say bye bye to TLC, spend a couple months in some undisclosed location, and rebuild my family.

The sticky part in this whole tale is the fact that the couple makes about $75,000 per episode. That’s a lot of scratch. And apparently reason enough to keep the circus going, rationalizing that it’s the only real choice, even amidst claims from their own relatives that the kids are being exploited.

So Jon and Kate themselves are the prime culprits in this mess, but I hold TLC responsible as well. I have no respect for the producers. It’s one thing to create a show around the curiosity of a family with eight kids — six of them being the same age. That’s interesting. But the minute you get a sense that a marriage and a family is in trouble, don’t you think it’s time to say, “You know what? I know this is great for ratings, but this is wrong for this family. Maybe we should take a break and let them sort things out.” Sadly, another example where money trumps human decency.

Meanwhile, I believe there is a special place in hell for paparazzi, aka “P-people.”

Get. A. Freaking. Life.

How do they sleep at night? What kind of sad, pathetic, slime ball loser do you have to be to sneak around photographing kids? If Jon and Kate weren’t famous, I’m pretty sure that might be against the law. I hear the job pays well, which apparently makes it all ok.

Then you have all of the tabloid magazines and TV shows that serve the gossip side of this stuff up like we’re in a high school cafeteria. This is the machine that keeps the paparazzi in business. Hosts with shiny hair and shinier teeth urgently present this “news” as if they’re doing us a service and making the world a better place. Get over yourselves. You were losers in high school and you’re losers now.

Finally, I can’t leave us off the list. That’s right, you and me. If we weren’t watching the show, it wouldn’t be on the air.

The only thing I can’t blame in this scenario — besides the kids — is money. I’m sure millions are crossing their arms, saying, “See, money is bad. It keeps causing all of these troubles.” They might try to prove their point by sharing the Bible passage that says, “Money is the root of all evil.”

Except that what it really says is, “The love of money is the root of all evil.”

Money is an innocent bystander; it’s people who are the problem.

Kim and I watched the show with great interest, because we’ve often talked about pitching a show to TLC or the Travel Channel. We’ve debated the pros and cons that would come with such an opportunity. Of course there’s the money, a bigger audience, and an opportunity to impact more people. The downside is the possibility of turning into the nightmare that Jon & Kate Plus 8 has now become. If the opportunity came along, we’d probably consider it, but examples like this would give us great hesitation. Everyone thinks they’d handle the situation better, but the slope is more slippery than any of us could imagine.

I guess what this all comes down to is choices and consequences. We always have a choice and our actions always have consequences. Jon & Kate had the choice whether or not to bring cameras into their home. That action led to some very good consequences (increased income, a wide variety of exciting experiences, and a platform to promote books), and some very bad ones (decreased privacy, media scrutiny, and a fissure in their marriage).

Right now, they might feel like their hands are tied. But even if they have 75,000 reasons to think otherwise, they still have a choice about what to do next. And the choices they make now will have consequences down the line. Inaction on their part could result in some real, unfixable problems later.

Don’t forget that whatever situation you may currently be in, you have a choice as well. It might be a difficult one, but it it a choice nonetheless. Don’t lose sight of the consequences that may occur as a result of your action.

Or inaction.

As I write this, Lucy is a freshly-minted five-month-old. I’m not sure if it seems like it’s been that long or not; the first few weeks were such a blur. I’ve started noticing how big she’s gotten when I see younger babies. I was shocked at church the other day when I saw a newborn cradled in the arms of her mother sitting in front of me. “There’s no way Lucy was ever that small!” I thought. And yet I know she was.

There’s something about having kids that really lets you know how much time flies, and that it’s NOT on your side. When it was just me and Kim, time seemed to go by much slower. Sure, there were a few grey hairs that popped up, but there weren’t many other markers constantly reminding us of the passage of time.

Not like seeing an infant grow up before your eyes.

It’s one thing to preach the importance of appreciating every moment, but it’s another thing to live it. It’s not like Math or History. Once you know that 2 plus 2 equals 4, or that George Washington was the first American president, you pretty much got it. It’s there in your brain, and you don’t have to keep reminding yourself about it. But life is so fast, so busy, and so prone to distraction that it’s easy to get swept away for days, weeks, or even years at a time before you slow down to take stock and keep first things first.

You can know the importance of it – you can even preach it from the pulpit –  but unless you commit to taking the daily action of living it out, it’s as if you didn’t really know it at all. It might even be worse, because once you wake up to the reality of wasted time and missed opportunities, you realize that you knew better.

There’s no pill to take to remedy Adultitis. No surgery or magic elixir. It takes habit, strengthened each day by a consistent desire to see with new eyes, appreciate the little things, and maintain perspective.

Don’t rest on your knowledge about what’s important in your life; make sure your actions match up. It’s hard, but worth every minute. And it’s certainly less painful than the regret of not doing it when you had the chance.

P.S. Looking for a tangible plan to take those daily steps against Adultitis? Try this.

They say everything is bigger in Texas. We found this to be true in regards to childlike enthusiasm. Jason finished up three programs in the lone star state this past week and we had the good fortune of meeting a young woman named Carrie. The first night she showed up donning two different colored Chuck Taylor’s. You know how I love Chucks! She explained that her best friend who is away at college has the same set. They bought them together, wrote poetry on them and swapped colors so that they each have one of each color. How cool is it that they both wear the same size?! What’s even cooler is that the poems can only be read when the shoes are put together. We all joked that it’s kinda like a grown-up version of those BFF necklaces girls exchanged as kids, where each person gets a half. What a fun grown-up version.

Another thing she shared is that she recently wrote a list of 25 things that make her happy. When I asked her what a few of them were she shared, “ya know, like puddle jumping and sleeping in when it’s raining outside.” Amen, Carrie! She said that she accesses the list when she needs a quick pick-me-up. It’s a great tool for fighting Adultitis.

What a sherpa. I’m thrilled to have met her. Carrie’s childlike enthusiasm and tools to stay young are ones that I hope you are also inspired by.