Parenthood | Escape Adulthood with Kim & Jason

Career Is Never As Important As Family

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Basketball Hall-of-Famer Kareem Abdul-Jabbar recently wrote an article for Esquire magazine entitled, 20 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was 30. This one is my favorite:

9. Career is never as important as family. The better you are at your job, the more you’re rewarded, financially and spiritually, by doing it. You know how to solve problems for which you receive praise and money. Home life is more chaotic. Solving problems is less prescriptive and no one’s applauding or throwing money if you do it right. That’s why so many young professionals spend more time at work with the excuse, “I’m sacrificing for my family.” Bullshit. Learn to embrace the chaos of family life and enjoy the small victories. This hit me one night after we’d won an especially emotional game against the Celtics. I’d left the stadium listening to thousands of strangers chanting “Kareem! Kareem!” I felt flush with the sense of accomplishment, for me, for the Lakers, and for the fans. But when I stepped into my home and my son said, “Daddy!” the victory, the chanting, the league standings, all faded into a distant memory.

I struggle with this one almost daily. It’s hard when we are wired to spend more time on the things that give us an immediate or financial payoff. And it’s especially tricky when one’s career is very mission-based, like mine.

Adultitis will use anything it can to distract us from the things that are most important. Sometimes it can be pretty darn convincing. Continue Reading →

Help Wanted: Family CEO

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Help Wanted: Family CEO
Applicant is responsible for the management and safety of her subordinates at all times. She will be responsible for the overall health and development of those under her supervision, including, but not limited to, ensuring proper regular hygiene, ethics instruction, and recreational activities. She will foster appropriate communication and team building skills within her unit, which shall require expertise status in the areas of conflict resolution and communications. Being particularly fluent in primitive languages is a plus. Continue Reading →

How to Break the Cycle of Adultitis

Where does Adultitis come from? As a very contagious disease, it’s an important question.

Many times, it’s passed down from generation to generation. This cycle needs to stop. But how?

The best way is to model what an Adultitis-free life looks like. Like this Dad:

Our kids listen to what we DO, not what we SAY.

With respect to Adultitis, the prognosis for these girls’ futures looks very positive.

Dad Breaks Rule on First Day of Spring

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The first day of spring is Wednesday. How are you planning to celebrating it?

Wait…you weren’t?

A woman at a recent speaking gig shared with me a neat family tradition that I had to pass along. She grew up in Connecticut, and every year, on the first day of spring, her father would “kidnap” his kids and play hooky. They’d all load into the car as usual, but he’d eventually take a “wrong turn,” and they’d never quite make it to school. One time, he took them sledding to take advantage of a new blanket of snow on the ground. Another time they ended up at the Statue of Liberty. Since it was a weekday (and a rainy one at that), the crowds were light and they were able to ascend to the top without any waiting.

It reminds me of the dad who took his kids to the circus instead of taking them to school.

Don’t get me wrong. I think that a parent’s first job is to model consistency and instill responsibility in their children. That there is a need for people like the Supernanny is a crying shame.

But I also think it’s important to create scenes with your kids. And one of the best ways to do that is by breaking a rule, starting a small rebellion, and just playing hooky once in a while.

Of course, one needn’t have kids, or even grandkids for that matter, in order to break a rule and create a scene. We ALL need a day to play hooky once in a while.

You can call it a mental health day or a “sick of it” day, if that helps.

This Wednesday is the first day of spring. How will you celebrate it?

P.S. Like the Statue of Liberty art above? You can get it as a print, available in vanilla or chocolate. :)

Easy Bake Ovens (for Boys)

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When I was a wee lad, I asked for a kitchen set for Christmas.

My Mom denied my request, informing me that kitchen sets were for girls.

My disappointment gave way to hope the following year, however. While engaging in my favorite late fall pastime — reading the Sears Christmas catalog that arrived by mail — I was overjoyed to see that within the very pages of that fine, authoritative publication was the kitchen set of my dreams…and it was shown being played with by a girl AND a boy. I rushed to show my mom the the incontrovertible evidence. Continue Reading →

Making Memories Stick: One Sentence Daily Journal

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My memory stinks. And I’m not even forty. Perhaps that is why I am so interested in simple ways to record the cool stuff that happens in my life. Then when I’m old I can actually have some idea of what I spent my life doing. Continue Reading →

Messages in a Bottle: Make Your Own Memory Jar

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At the end of every year, Kim and I sit down and review the year that was. We talk about what went well, what didn’t go well, and reminisce about the adventures we had and the things we accomplished. The hardest part is remembering it all! We review our calendar and archived to-do lists, and even though I’m amazed at how much you can accomplish in a year, I always feel like we’re missing stuff.

Which is what makes this idea pure genius.

Find a neat jar and put it in your kitchen with a pen and a stack of tiny paper nearby. Throughout the year, write down any cool adventures, funny stories, or happy things that occur and put them in the jar. Then on New Years Eve, read all the notes and bask in gratitude at the cool stuff that happened during the year.

Since everyone in the household can contribute, a highlight is reading the notes other people added over the course of the year. Even neater: a shelf in your house that features your memory jars through the years!

Looking for some fun ideas to make sure your memory jar is filled with awesome? Try this.

Hat tip to Jill Bodwin and Jaden Hair.

The Seasons of Life and a Stress-Reducing Secret

I became a father a little over four years ago. Before that, my wife and I had been married for eight years and worked together on our small business. We were used to working long days, coming and going as we pleased, and eating out at nice, quiet restaurants. We used to have a Cheerio-free backseat in our car. But now we have two kids, which practically makes me an expert at parenting.

An expert at knowing how little I actually know about it, that is. Continue Reading →

How To Make the Day of a Parent

Notice something great about their parenting (even if it’s a little thing) and tell them about it.

That’s it.

Day made.

There is no more difficult job out there than being a parent. (If you care about being good at it, that is.) As they say, the days are long but the years are short. And those long days are often filled with doubt, uncertainty, fear, and a whole lot of second-guessing. Continue Reading →

Hey Parents: What Super Power Would You Most Want to Have?

Our family dressed up like The Avengers this Halloween. It all started a few months ago when Lucy insisted that she wanted to be Captain America. (She has a thing for his shield.) Our son Ben is quite the grunter, so he seemed like a good choice as Hulk, and things snowballed from there.

After the dust settled, Kim and I got into a discussion of what super power we’d most want to have in our role as parents.

Since I have had many moments holding a sleeping kid with the remote control or my phone just out of reach, I would LOVE to possess the “Force-like” ability to levitate objects and draw them into my hand. Kim said she’d love the ability to put the kids to sleep at the wave of her hand.

That led me to wonder what powers other parents might choose. What say you? Leave a comment and let us know!

Show ‘Em How It’s Done

One thing my Dad likes doing with his grandkids is eating Hershey’s chocolate syrup with a spoon, straight from the bottle.

It was a big day in our household when Kim taught Lucy how to dunk cookies in milk.

And then there’s the story a childcare professional I met in Houston shared with me. Continue Reading →

Parenthood is Definitely Not Like Politics

So we have officially started home schooling. I imagine we’ll share all the reasons for this at some point, but I’m pretty sure the main reason is because…we’re crazy.

One thing I’ve noticed so far about parenthood is that the things our kids most readily pick up from us has nothing to do with the carefully crafted “lessons” we try to put forth. It’s definitely not like a political campaign, where you create an image with stories and photo-ops in order to present a pre-defined message to voters. No, kids aren’t fooled by spin. They see all sides of you, and the lessons they learn from the things you say and do when you don’t think they’re paying attention, well, those seem to be the most sticky. Continue Reading →

You Can’t Have it All. So Choose What You Want Wisely.

Does the more time you spend with your family lessen the impact you can have through your career?

Since becoming a father, that is a question I have struggled mightily with. Continue Reading →

Happy Accidents

I’ve learned that when you spend the day with a preschooler, you find yourself knee deep in “teachable moments.” Depending on my energy level and how “teacherly” I feel in the moment, I find that some I jump on and some I let pass. Today was a day I jumped. Continue Reading →

Angelic Infant or Alien Secret Agent?

Don’t let the cherubic looks and aura of helplessness fool you. Is that newborn in your life an innocent little human being, dependent on you for sustenance and protection? Or is she really a covert ops agent on a mission against her alien captors? Continue Reading →

The Sweet Spot of Somewhere In Between

Some kids get more attention at school than they ever do at home. And not the positive kind. They spend more time watching television than they do talking to their parents, who feed them junk food, allow them to run wild, and don’t show up for parent/teacher conferences.

Other kids are sent to the best schools and feel pressure to score high marks. They participate in a dizzying array of extracurriculars, with the goal of gaining acceptance into a prestigious university in order to embark upon a lucrative career they’ll only marginally enjoy (if they’re lucky.)

Both seem pretty extreme to me. I’m aiming for the sweet spot of somewhere in between.

Does it exist anymore?

Photo credit: mihoda

The Danger of Modern Productivity

I have a confession to make. I’m often more eager to head downstairs to work than I am to come back upstairs and rejoin the family.

I think it’s because when I’m spending time with my kids, I don’t feel as productive as I do as when I’m working. I still choose family over work more often than not, but sometimes I look at the money and accomplishments my peers are collecting, and I wonder if I’m making the best use of my time, especially when we’re just sitting around doing “nothing.”

I used to feel pretty guilty about feeling this way, until a book called How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton Christensen shed some light on things. Continue Reading →

A Print Perfect for Mom

I drew this one long ago, and it’s still one of our best sellers.

Available at your friendly neighborhood Lemonade Stand.

Here’s to moms, the everyday superheroes.

My Greatest Day as a Dad (So Far)

My greatest day as a dad recently eclipsed my previous greatest day as a dad.

The first one was about a month ago. I was wearing a Stormtrooper t-shirt I had gotten for Christmas. Lucy was sitting across from me at the table, and said, “I like your shirt, Dad.”

I thanked her, thinking she liked the artsy design and bright colors.

Then she asked, “That’s from Star Wars, isn’t it?”

My ears perked up, because I hadn’t talked that much to her about my favorite movies in the history of the universe. Yet.

“Why yes, it is,” I responded.

The thing she said next solidified that day as my greatest as a Dad. Continue Reading →

Caine’s Arcade Will Make Your Day

What happens when kids are allowed to be bored, without any organized extracurricular activities and without access to iPods, iPhones or video games?

What happens when parents encourage their kids’ creativity, even if it makes a mess?

What happens when one person is unafraid to let his inner child to come out and play when everyone else is too busy, inhibited, or just too “adult?”

What happens when hundreds of people do something simple to make the day of a child?

Magic, that’s what.

This video is the story of a 9-year-old boy who built an elaborate cardboard arcade inside his dad’s used auto part store and is about to have the best day of his life. It’s eleven minutes of pure magic.

What “First” Can You Have Today?

I finally got Lucy to let me paint her toenails. (She was convinced for the longest time that it was going to hurt.) It definitely goes down in the books as one of my favorite “firsts.” Picture the two of us on her bedroom floor with red toes, waiting for them to dry, chatting it up like school girls — a mother’s dream! Of course she thinks it makes her look more like a princess. Maybe that’s secretly why I like to have mine painted, too.

Parenting is chock full of “firsts.”

The cool thing is that you don’t have to be a parent to have a “first” with someone you care about.

What “first” can you have today?

Photo credit: Kim Kotecki

Ode To My Parents

“I’ve come to realize that making it your life’s work to be different than your parents is not only hard to do, it’s a dumb idea.” — Paul Reiser, Familyhood

Continue Reading →

How Much Mommy Guilt Is Too Much?

Jason and I are determined to get to the end of our lives with no regrets. It’s our life’s work.

So, having said that, I pose a question that challenges me big time:

How much “mommy guilt” is normal? Continue Reading →

The Messy Adventure of Parenthood

October 5, 2009: Lucy and I were downstairs changing the laundry. As she crawled around the floor, I noticed a dark mark on her shirt, at the small of her back. As any baby’s parent will tell you, this is not something to be ignored. The location meant only one thing: blowout. Continue Reading →