I had just a few more thoughts to share expounding on the recent post regarding our adventure registering for the essential baby gear needed to parent effectively in the 21st century.

Contrary to the popular instant gratification trend of our society, Kim and I have decided to keep the baby’s sex a secret. (In fact, I intend to keep sex a secret from baby for at least thirty-five years.)

If I can use the word sex one more time in this post, maybe it will rank higher in the search engines. Sex. Sex. Sex. (That should do it.)

Anyway, there are too few surprises left in the world, and this is one we don’t think is necessary to spoil.

The downside is that it’s pretty clear that our baby’s favorite colors better be yellow and green. I’m not sure who decided on baby color schemes, but it works like this: If you’re having a boy, he is to be dressed head to toe in blue. Girls need to be plastered in pink. And if you’re not sure, well, yellow and green are your only options. Oh, and no matter what, each color only comes in pastel. Period.

Meanwhile, while the baby clothes are offered only in pastel, the baby toys are made with the brightest, boldest, most saturated colors known to man. I looked down an aisle featuring a wall of baby toys, and my corneas almost exploded.

But I digress.

I think this color-coding of clothes according to gender is strange, because if you were to look in our closet, it’s not like Kim’s side is filled with pink clothes, while my side is completely blue (let alone pastel blue). What’s a daddy got to do to get some black onesies in the house? Seriously, we were looking at some accent pieces to add to the nursery and Kim thoughtfully asked, “If we have a boy, is this too feminine?”

I looked around at all of the offerings and said, “Are you kidding? Everything here is kind of feminine.”

And that’s just how it is. Babies are cute, and somewhere along the line, the color gods decided that pastel was the appropriate shade for all things cute. Far be it from me to buck tradition.

Besides, yellow is kind of growing on me.

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It’s true: This is the 1,000th post. Maybe by the time we get to 2,000, they’ll have developed the technology that will allow me to make confetti and streamers shoot out of your computer. Someday.

I can’t even begin to take credit for all 1,000 posts. Kim started up her own blog during the summer of 2005 and we combined forces and merged blogs last August. She doesn’t give herself nearly enough credit, but the truth is that she has written stuff that I wish I could claim as my own.

I started this thing on April 22, 2002 — over six years ago! — well before I had even heard of the term “blog.” The first post actually appeared in a thread called “Bird Droppings” on an infrequently visited message board called The Sidewalk. Some of you K&J veterans may even remember it! (And by “some” I mean Jenna.) Here’s an excerpt of the very first post, “The Beginning of Why“:

I’m not sure how this journal will evolve, but I hope it will be at least somewhat interesting to whomever finds themselves reading it. The reason for starting this is not because I feel that I have some great knowledge or experiential wisdom to share, but mainly because my wife thought I should. Apparently, she thinks there are people besides her who might like knowing some of the thoughts that take up residence in my head.

My plan is to just write stuff here from time to time; stuff about the strip, the characters, and the daily ups and downs that go with trying to live out this dream. I imagine it will be sort of cathartic for me, which is good, because even if no one reads it, I’ll have saved tons of money on a psychologist.

The good news is that people have been reading, and I have been touched by all of the kind words from people who have been inspired, encouraged, or entertained in some way. In looking back at my mention of chronicling the “daily ups and downs that go with trying to live this dream,” I can think of five lessons I’ve learned along the way. Maybe they’ll serve you as you pursue dreams of your own…

1) Just Get Started
It’s very common to hold off on chasing a dream until the conditions are perfect. The fact is that there will always be some reason to convince yourself to stay put. So if you want to start out on your dream, get over the fact that the economy sucks, you’re not as experienced as you wish you were, or your bank account doesn’t have as much money as you wish it did.

The other thing that keeps people from diving in is intimidation, especially when they compare themselves to the success of others. I’ve had people marvel at the design and comprehensiveness of our website. Sometimes they throw their hands up, lamenting that they’ll never have a web site like this. What they don’t realize is that this web site has evolved bit-by-bit over the course of eight years. It’s undergone countless revisions, thousands of tweaks, and we’ve added stuff to it one small piece at a time. Sorry to state the obvious, but Kim and I didn’t write all 1,000 posts in one day.

Everything worthwhile — including the pyramids of Egypt — has been built the same way: brick by brick. The only way to see a dream come to fruition is to get started.

2) It Will Probably Take Longer Than You Think
Optimism is what fuels the dreamer. This is good, because it gives you the energy to get up every morning and blow past obstacles that come your way. And there will be obstacles.

Eight years ago, I thought our revenues would be much higher than they currently are. I figured Kim and I would own a home and have at least two kids by now. Even though we are growing and moving in the right direction, certain things have taken longer than I expected.

But other than flash-in-the-pan Reality TV “stars,” there’s no such thing as an overnight sensation. Do a little research on the people who have achieved real success, and you will find a history of obscurity filled with hard work, serious setbacks, and marginal successes. You should expect the same. But don’t worry. Weeds grow quickly, sometimes overnight. Oak trees don’t. Which would you rather be?

3) Don’t Be Afraid To Change
When I first embarked on this path in 2000, the Kim & Jason comic strip was the center of everything. All of the products on the Lemonade Stand featured their likenesses, I had dreams of getting syndicated, and Club K&J was little more than a fan club for enthusiasts of the strip. (Check out the screen shot to the right to see what this site looked like when this blog began.)

But then the vision evolved, and my dream became much bigger than building a comic strip empire. I wrote a book. I started my speaking career. Kim and I began working together. The Lemonade Stand evolved to include thousands of new products, most of them having nothing to do with the Kim & Jason characters. We started impacting new people in new ways.

On December 11, 2007 I announced my decision to retire the daily comic strip. Let me tell you, that was a toughie. I feared that my dream was dying and I struggled to let go. But let go I did, and the business — and mission — evolved in remarkable ways. I took about a year off from Kim & Jason, which allowed my creative juices to bubble up. Now I am working on a new Kim & Jason project that fits better with my current lifestyle and has me more excited than I’ve been in a long while.

As you travel on your own path, don’t be afraid to change. It will be scary at times, but if you can go with the flow and follow where your heart leads, your dream will evolve beyond your wildest imagination.

4) Take Time to Look Back to See How Far You’ve Come
One thing I constantly have to remind myself to do is take time to look back at how far we’ve come. I tend to be a very forward-thinking person with big dreams. When you have big dreams, it’s easy to get caught up in a perpetual state of “never quite there.” To avoid burning out, it is vitally important to take inventory of what you’ve been able to accomplish.

In the past eight years, I’ve written three books (one of which was published by a major publisher), launched a career as a professional speaker, was named the “Rising Star” of the National Speakers Association of Wisconsin, secured licensing deals for Kim & Jason in countries like Japan and Australia, and moved into a ridiculously awesome new office. Not too shabby for a shy kid from a small town who started out in an old apartment with no money. These are the things I need to reflect on when I feel like we’re not making any progress.

When chasing a dream, be careful not to only compare where you are with where you want to be. Don’t forget to spend time comparing where you are to where you used to be.

5) Go With God
Faith is vitally important to me and Kim. We’ve had many dark and scary moments, moments that made us question our sanity and consider throwing in the towel. But time and time again, God has provided for us in amazing ways, often just in the nick of time. He’s guided me in directions I’d never considered and led me to people that I needed to know. And He’s given us the strength to keep going, even when the road was dark and hope seemed lost. I can’t imagine undertaking this journey without him.

I believe all real dreams come from God; they were placed deep within our hearts by a creator that loves us. The only way to achieve God’s best for you is to follow his lead. Pray for guidance. Pray for wisdom. Pray for strength. Somehow, he orchestrates things so that they always work out for the best.

These are five lessons I’ve learned while chasing my dream. And as the journey continues, I’m well aware that school is still in session.

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Kim and I finally had a chance to officially “register” for this new little freeloader we’ll be welcoming into the home in around four months. Thanks, dear readers, for all of the helpful tips and suggestions.

Now I’m not sure if you know this or not, but there is kind of an entire industry that caters to providing stuff for babies. I’ve heard rumors about these giant, warehouse-type stores designed just for this purpose. I think there are even stores that I frequent often that supposedly have entire departments devoted to this sort of thing, but I’ve never noticed them before.

They have basically evaluated every single sliver of your baby’s life, and created one-hundred-fifty-seven trillion products that allow you to micro-manage it accordingly. They even have a special bar you can attach to your bathtub that has the sole purpose of giving him something to hold on to as he enters and exits the bath. If you wanted to, you could easily outfit your entire house to look like a nursing home, with the only difference being that the residents are under two feet tall. (I could write a whole post on the similarities between nurseries and nursing homes.)

So yeah, there’s a lot of stuff. Although it looks like we’ll have to go back, because the automatic diaper-changing machine must have been out of stock the day we were there.

I’m sure it’s a popular item.

I actually enjoyed the process of registering. I liked certain parts exceptionally well; especially the barcode scanning part of it. Most things involving baby cater to a decidedly feminine point-of-view, but I am reasonably certain that the person who developed the barcode scanner had the masculine soul in mind. And I appreciate that.

I liked being in charge of the gun. First of all, it looks like it was used as a prop in Star Wars, plus it shoots lasers. LASERS! Echoing back to the ancestral days of hunting and gathering, it was as if Babies”R”Us became a dense and expansive forest, and my job was to shoot down things that my baby would need. I felt like such a capable provider. (Never mind the fact that the things I scanned are items that I expect other people to buy for me.)

I feel sorry for any expectant (and frankly, emasculated) fathers whose wife takes control of the scanner. It’s an important role, ladies. For the love of God, don’t take it away from him.

The lady who helped get us all set up at Babies”R”Us tried offering some helpful advice. She said to register for things you need for the whole first YEAR of baby’s life, not just the first few months. This was not very helpful for me, as I’m still trying to get my head around trying to figure out what a newborn needs. The idea of prepping for a one-year-old at the same time just blows my mind.

My brain started drowning in possibilities: “Pants. We’ll definitely need pants. And sippy cups, I think. Or will she be past that stage already? Oh dear, do I need to start thinking about training wheels for the bike already? We don’t even have a bike yet! We should probably register for a bike AND training wheels…and a helmet, right?…”

Somehow, I was able to pull myself back from the nether-regions of near hyperventilation to focus on the task at hand: Get the stuff that’s already on Kim’s list.

Whew.

I am happy to say that as overwhelmed as we (and by “we” I mean “I”) might have been upon entering the store, we quickly got the hang of things. I could tell because I made Kim laugh when I said in a tone that was more serious and concerned than confused or sarcastic, “Do we need emery boards?”

Likewise, I knew we had hit full stride when Kim yelled, “YES! Sleep sacks!”

It was an exciting an productive day, and all of my thoughts just won’t fit in one post.

(To be continued…)

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A little 4th of July fun for you out there in cyberspace.

Oh, and you might also like this post about kids and fireworks and delighting in the little things: I’ll Have What They’re Having.

(Click the comic to see it bigger.)

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This weekend, Kim and I are planning to visit stores like Target, Babies ‘R Us, and Just Leave Your Wallet at the Door It’ll Be Easier in order to register for upcoming baby showers. (Raining babies, what a concept!)

In preparation, I, the dutiful father, have come up with an idea.

This could be one of my best ideas ever.

Or it could rank right up there as the one I most regret.

I thought it might be a good idea to get the advice of our readers on a few things, as I know plenty of parents are following along. We live in an apartment, so we don’t have all kinds of extra space for the at-home version of McDonald’s Playland. So here’s what I want to know: What are the must-have, ignore-them-at-your-own-risk essentials? And what are the fuhgedaboutit, don’t-even-bother-no-matter-what-everyone-else-says items?

So here’s your chance. Veteran parents, please leave your thoughts in the comments. Other than duct tape (of course!), what are your 3-5 must-haves, and what are your 3-5 top fuhgedaboutits?

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A friend treated Kim and me to a Cubs game last night. (Thanks Teresa!) It’s been forever since I’d been to good ol’ Wrigley and it brought back a lot of childhood memories. Things like the glow of the emerald green grass, the barking beer vendors, and the skewed perspective that causes certain “home runs” to fall harmlessly into the shortstop’s glove.

It was 80º and perfect, and the Cubbies won 10 to 5, but I think the thing I enjoyed the most was the camaraderie. I didn’t know how much I missed that.

That’s one of the few downsides of living in Wisconsin, after having spent all but eight years of my life in Illinois: it’s hard being a Cubs and Bears fan in a land flowing with beer (the Brewers) and cheese (the Packers.) Oh sure, I’ll run into the occasional Chicago fan here in Madison, but usually I play the role of outsider. And last fall delivered more of the same when we were able to watch the Cubs take on the Diamondbacks in Arizona during the playoffs.

To be sitting among happy 41,000 fans, with all of us cheering the same balls and strikes and bunts and runs…well, that was a nice feeling. Between the shared rooting interest and the avalanche of good childhood memories, it felt a lot like home.

And that, as Martha Stewart would say, is a good thing.

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When Club K&J was first conceived, it was pretty much a modest fan club for people who liked my comic strip, “Kim & Jason.”

Little did I know that it was the seed for something much greater, and much more important.

Over the past several years, as Kim and I have criss-crossed the country to share our ideas with people that are stressed-out, burned-out, and busy, I have begun to grasp the gravity of our mission. Enthusiastic and heartfelt encouragement of people who we meet along the way share phrases like “keep on doing what you’re doing” and “the world needs this, hang in there.” For a while, I absorbed these comments as little more than polite words of thanks, and sometimes as prideful pats on the back. Now I’m starting to see them as affirmations for when the going gets tough, and reminders that this journey is bigger than me, and certainly bigger than the little comic strip that started it all.

One thing I am starting to realize is that people whose childlike spirit is alive and well — the folks serious about not taking themselves too seriously — are too often in the minority. They often don’t have many other people in their life who share the same outlook on things. Sometimes Kim and I are the only ones telling them that there’s nothing wrong with them. What’s worse, the Adultitis-ridden people around them (sometimes even their closest friends or spouses) try to make them feel “irresponsible,” “childish,” or “immature.”

I am familiar with this sort of scrutiny, because we get it all the time. When we started this crazy ride almost eight years ago, I thought we had a pretty benign and agreeable message. I mean, who could argue with having more fun? With dreaming big while appreciating the little things? With spending our lives doing what we are passionate about?

Little did I know.

I guess people have a real problem with it. In a recent sampling of some of the online conversation going on about Kim & Jason, here are a few highlights of things actually said about us:

We are “delaying traditional responsibility” and are a “siren song coaxing people’s ships away from responsible channels.”

We are suffering from “Psychological Neoteny” a.k.a. ” a phenomenon that adults in modernizing liberal democracies increasingly retain many of the attitudes and behaviors traditionally associated with youth.”

We champion “a life that embraces a childlike spirit which is only really viable if someone else is paying for that life.”

We promote “cockamamie age-faking strategies.”

We “package childhood in a non-threatening way in order to sell things.”

We “use specious arguments designed to stress out caring adults to sell stuff in (our) store.”

Yikes. A benign and agreeable message indeed! (Public service announcement: you should probably run as far away from here as you can. We might just be responsible for the downfall of civilization.)

I could launch into a big diatribe on our stance between being childlike versus childish, but I feel pretty confident that anyone who has followed our blog or read our books or seen us speak knows where we stand. There are a couple of things I can take away from this. For one, we must be doing something right. Name someone who ever made history that was loved by everyone. Secondly, I can now see that this fight against Adultitis is not going to be an easy one to win.

Besides being greedy capitalists *wink, wink*, I believe that we at Kim & Jason are really in the permission business. It is my passion to let people know that not only is it more than ok to have fun and be childlike (not childish), it’s actually a key to a healthy, abundant, and fulfilled life.

Which brings me back to Club K&J. I believe the main purpose of Club K&J is to provide an opportunity for childlike people to connect with other people just like them, and to let them know that they’re not stranded on a deserted island. I want to build a community that inspires and empowers people to let that child inside come out and play.

Club K&J has evolved quite a bit over the years. Right now, the core features include a 25% discount from the Lemonade Stand, the quarterly Kim & Jason magazine (filled with articles and tips for escaping adulthood), and a continuously increasing treasure chest of exclusive content, such as bonus audio, video, and behind-the-scenes info.

The newly created Escape Events — our regularly scheduled opportunities for members to join together in doing something childlike — have the potential to become even more exciting as membership increases. As a wider number of people participate, we’ll enjoy a wider variety of solutions to each challenge. It could even grow to the point where Club K&J members are sending in suggestions for future challenges and the media is covering the phenomena because so many people are having fun with it.

Scale is a big key. As things grow, we’ll be able to more and more cool things. For instance, the monthly S.W.E.L.L. prizes and Escape Event awards will become more extravagant, maybe even including such things like cruise tickets or a year’s supply of ice cream. We’ll be able to look at creating our own social network, similar to MySpace or Facebook. With a bigger population of members, things like meetups in various cities become realistic. When Kim and I are somewhere for a speaking gig, I can see us inviting all Club K&J members in the area to meet us for desert afterwards. Another neat idea would be to organize Escape Adulthood themed-cruises, vacations, or outdoor festivals — almost like a Club &J annual convention!

This is my vision. I get excited just thinking about the possibilities.

Now, if you’re one of those curmudgeonly people against our “cockamamie age-faking strategies,” I would politely invite you to exit stage left. We’re not your cup of tea, and that’s ok. But if you love what we do, and if this vision excites you, I invite you to support us by subscribing to Club K&J.

Gasp! — he’s asking for money!!!

I understand that I am inciting the critics by asking people like yourself to plunk down $4.95 a month, but it’s pretty simple if you think about it. You can’t go very far in this world without money. To be able to create an organization I described above requires time and money and interested people. I’m perfectly content to be quite democratic about it. If people people like you see the value, buy in, and vote with their wallet, we can move forward. If they don’t, Club K&J will fade away. If we don’t do a good job of delivering value for people, they can unsubscribe at any time, as they should. Pretty straightforward stuff.

My belief is that Club K&J can be a catalyst to help us create a movement. Not a movement to amass any sort of power or to get any particular law passed. Maybe just a movement of people who join together in spirit and in action to prove to the naysayers that there is more to life than the cynicism, hectic busyness, and overwhelming stress that is typical of most modern lives. That we don’t have to spend our lives in ruts or believe in the pessimistic definition of adulthood that the world gives us.

And that yes, it’s possible to actually be childlike AND responsible all at the same time. What a concept.

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Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I’m sure I’ll make a bunch of people angry, but I’m sorry. That’s about the only word I can think of to describe what I think about parents who let their kids have televisions in their bedroom.

With our blue collar jobs being outsourced overseas, the main thing that keeps America humming along as a world leader is our ingenuity, inventiveness, and imagination (all of which flourishes under capitalism, by the way.) Manufacturing and factory jobs are going the way of the dinosaur, and they’re being replaced by an economy of ideas and technology.

Television is a passive, mind-numbing medium. When a strong imagination and the ability to think creatively are the most important tools our kids need to succeed in life, I can’t think of one good reason to let a child have a TV in their bedroom.

Especially with all of the junk that floods the airwaves these days.

Stupid.

And it makes for stupid kids, too. From the New York Times:

According to a recent study of almost 400 third graders that was published in The Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, about 70% of the group had a television in their bedroom. The data indicated that the children with their own TV scored significantly and consistently lower on math, reading and language-arts tests. In a similar study of 80 children in Buffalo, N.Y., the presence of a television in the bedroom increased average viewing time by nearly nine hours a week, from 21 to 30 hours.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those people who think TV is the devil. It certainly has is place in our lives. I’m just not sure that our children’s bedrooms is that place. Can we shield our kids from everything harmful in this world? Absolutely not. But should we allow complete strangers into our kid’s bedroom to teach them a thing or two about “life?”

I know that there are at least 52 productive alternatives to TV. I’d bet there are countless more things that would be just as fun and serve our children better than sitting in their bedroom watching the boob tube. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I believe an imagination is a terrible thing to waste. You might be the “meanest” parent on the block, but the gift of letting your child stretch his or her imagination is one they will thank you for later.

So, what say you?

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I’ve got a new favorite word.

Unadulterated.

I used it in a post recently and it struck me that “adult” is smack dab in the middle of the word. (Call me slow to catch on.) Of course, I always knew that “adult” was in the word “unadulterated,” but I never took the time to consider the connection between that little fact and the actual definition of the word.

un·a·dul·ter·at·ed (ŭn’ə-dŭl’tə-rā’tĭd)
adj.

1. Not mingled or diluted with extraneous matter; pure.
2. Out-and-out; utter: the unadulterated truth.

And the thesaurus included these synonyms: Free from extraneous elements: absolute, perfect, plain, pure, simple, undiluted, unmixed.

Hmm….children are certainly not “diluted with extraneous matter.” They are not weighed down by silly rules, unimportant to-do list tasks, or the mindless day-to-day minutia that bogs down so many “adults.” They are free to live life abundantly, with a reckless abandon that eschews the regrets of the past and the anxieties of the future in order to embrace the holy present.

Children are pure. They are innocent up until some adult (or the world we adults created) robs them of that innocence by introducing violence, dishonesty, or abuse.

Children are simple. The whiz-bang, wirelessly-operated toy du jour can’t hold a candle to a giant empty cardboard box. Not in a million years. And they’re not really impressed by Dad’s impressive job title and fat salary or Mom’s PhD and impressive credentials. Not in the least. What does it for them? Playing hide and seek, being pushed on the swings, tickle fights, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and bedtime stories starring heroes and princesses. Pretty simple stuff.

It seems to me that life’s problems pop up when you add an “adult” to the situation. The English prefix “un” has two meanings. The first is “not, or opposite of”, and the other is “reverse action, or release from.” I am led to believe that the key to a happy and full life is to become the opposite of all of the bad aspects of adulthood, or to “reverse” the “adult” side of ourselves. Young children don’t have any of that adult side in them, which is why they are unadulterated (simple, pure, and not diluted with extraneous matter).

So I have a new favorite word.

And a new goal as well: To become as unadulterated as possible.

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It seems an inevitability that every parent comes to a point where they risk traumatizing their child with the hope of achieving a small sliver of sanity. I have a friend who told her daughter that bees like sticky, sweet things so if she didn’t get her hands washed after meals they might come in the house and sting her.

I think she’s become a big fan of pre-meal cleanliness.

You may remember Christopher Noxon, author of Rejuvenile and the feature interview from our thirteenth podcast. (You can listen to all of our podcasts here.) He recently helped his daughter conquer her hiccups via similarly questionable means. Sometimes you just gotta do whatever it takes. Enjoy this cautionary tale.

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I found this picture on the blog of my buddy John. Hilarious, in a sick and twisted sort of way.

People in Wisconsin take cheese very seriously, but I have yet to see any playgrounds featuring this particular piece of equipment. Notice I said yet.

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Anyone out there who doesn’t love the classic 1983 movie A Christmas Story? Not sure it needs to be played in a continues loop on Christmas, but still.

Did you know that you can actually visit the house where the movie was filmed (not sure if the furnace ever got fixed) and buy your very own leg lamp to display proudly in your window?

Don’t believe me? I’m as serious as a kid with his tongue stuck to a flag pole.

Brian Jones makes fishnet-stockinged leg lamps for a living. And the house? He bought that on eBay. Read the remarkable story in Guideposts Magazine. I double dog dare ya. It’s a great reminder that lots of good things still happen to you after you’ve gotten the biggest disappointment of your life.

[Hat tip to Libby]

Technorati Tags: A Christmas Story, Brian Jones, Guideposts, Leg Lamps

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