With Adultitis running rampant, it’s not a surprise that one of the major symptoms has become the new normal for many people. What am I speaking of? Being rushed. Do you ever feel rushed? Why? What makes you move so quickly? Whether you want to admit it or not, being rushed is one of the most unappealing traits that you can adopt. You’re letting your outside circumstances rule your reality. You are being reactive, instead of proactive. You say “yes” far too often. It’s time to stop.
In the last six months, in my efforts to adjust to being a mommy, I have had many a temptation to rush. Hurry and get that done while she’s sleeping… real quick, gotta get that phone call made while she’s in daddy’s arms. Go… go… go. When I catch myself running (even if only in my head), I stop and remind myself what the example of my behavior will teach Lucy. Yikes! That stops me in my tracks. Adultitis is highly contagious and as with every other disease out there, the weak and the young are the first to be susceptible. I also remind myself that Jesus was never rushed. He was here for a short 33 years (time was limited). He had a HUGE mission to accomplish (much bigger than yours or mine), and yet he modeled rest and prayer… two major ways to combat rushing.
Honestly, we should all be rushing around like chickens with our heads cut off. Our “to do” lists would attest to that, but it is simply no way to live. The dirty little secret is that if you are rushed all of the time sooner than later people will start to dislike being around you. The even dirtier secret is that you will inevitably start to dislike yourself. Stop the madness! Start with these five steps…
1. Do not over schedule yourself. There’s a lot of talk about kids being over scheduled, and this is often the case, as the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. As my dear friend and colleague Eliz Greene reminds people, saying no to something is actually saying yes to your family and yourself.
2. Lower your expectations. The house doesn’t have to be shiny. The clothes don’t always have to be ironed. Find a way within yourself to let some things go, so that you can create more time.
3. Breathe deep and often. Don’t wait until it’s too late to take some time for yourself. Would you rather have an overnight stay at a hospital or a resort? If the resort is just out of reach, how about an evening bubble bath, a morning walk, or just some silence in the car in the morning? These are all easy gifts to give yourself amidst the busyness.
4. Delegate and cooperate. Don’t be a martyr. Ask for help. Trade services with friends or coworkers. Divide chores in the household. Get creative in your schedule and be willing to admit that you cannot do it all. Jason and I are breaking all sorts of rules in the way we divide up the labor… he cooks, I clean. He grocery shops, I mow. Try to compromise and stick to the things you don’t hate to do.
5. Laugh and play everyday. You officially have permission to be childlike and to bring play back into your life. There’s no excuse for limited laughter in your life. With the Internet at your fingertips, there are countless sites that will help you increase your laugh quota for the day. Start with this one: Awkward Family Photos.
Over the past few years, I have watched more Jon & Kate Plus 8 than I care to admit. The wifey got me into it a few years ago. It’s not like we watch every episode, but it always seems to be on, and we get sucked in by something cute one of the kids says (like “I got to hit the tiñata.”).
Initially, I thought watching it made for pretty good birth control. Then Lucy came along and I began thanking my lucky stars that there weren’t five more of her in there. Now that I’m doing more of the grocery shopping, I am bombarded by the tabloids alerting me to the latest “scoop” on this couple now known by their famous first names. (Brangelina who?)
The season five premiere shattered TLC records, with about 10 million people tuning in to see what makes a train wreck look like a happy walk in a wading pool. It has followed the familiar arc of American celebrity: Someone rises up from obscurity to capture the hearts and minds of all the people only to be tarred and feathered (or worse) once we grow tired of them.
There is plenty of blame to go around for this monstrosity. Everybody is culpable, except the kids, who seem to always end up with the raw deal in these things. [click to read more…]
As I write this, Lucy is a freshly-minted five-month-old. I’m not sure if it seems like it’s been that long or not; the first few weeks were such a blur. I’ve started noticing how big she’s gotten when I see younger babies. I was shocked at church the other day when I saw a newborn cradled in the arms of her mother sitting in front of me. “There’s no way Lucy was ever that small!” I thought. And yet I know she was.
There’s something about having kids that really lets you know how much time flies, and that it’s NOT on your side. When it was just me and Kim, time seemed to go by much slower. Sure, there were a few grey hairs that popped up, but there weren’t many other markers constantly reminding us of the passage of time.
Not like seeing an infant grow up before your eyes.
It’s one thing to preach the importance of appreciating every moment, but it’s another thing to live it. It’s not like Math or History. Once you know that 2 plus 2 equals 4, or that George Washington was the first American president, you pretty much got it. It’s there in your brain, and you don’t have to keep reminding yourself about it. But life is so fast, so busy, and so prone to distraction that it’s easy to get swept away for days, weeks, or even years at a time before you slow down to take stock and keep first things first.
You can know the importance of it – you can even preach it from the pulpit – but unless you commit to taking the daily action of living it out, it’s as if you didn’t really know it at all. It might even be worse, because once you wake up to the reality of wasted time and missed opportunities, you realize that you knew better.
There’s no pill to take to remedy Adultitis. No surgery or magic elixir. It takes habit, strengthened each day by a consistent desire to see with new eyes, appreciate the little things, and maintain perspective.
Don’t rest on your knowledge about what’s important in your life; make sure your actions match up. It’s hard, but worth every minute. And it’s certainly less painful than the regret of not doing it when you had the chance.
P.S. Looking for a tangible plan to take those daily steps against Adultitis? Try this.
They say everything is bigger in Texas. We found this to be true in regards to childlike enthusiasm. Jason finished up three programs in the lone star state this past week and we had the good fortune of meeting a young woman named Carrie. The first night she showed up donning two different colored Chuck Taylor’s. You know how I love Chucks! She explained that her best friend who is away at college has the same set. They bought them together, wrote poetry on them and swapped colors so that they each have one of each color. How cool is it that they both wear the same size?! What’s even cooler is that the poems can only be read when the shoes are put together. We all joked that it’s kinda like a grown-up version of those BFF necklaces girls exchanged as kids, where each person gets a half. What a fun grown-up version.
Another thing she shared is that she recently wrote a list of 25 things that make her happy. When I asked her what a few of them were she shared, “ya know, like puddle jumping and sleeping in when it’s raining outside.” Amen, Carrie! She said that she accesses the list when she needs a quick pick-me-up. It’s a great tool for fighting Adultitis.
What a sherpa. I’m thrilled to have met her. Carrie’s childlike enthusiasm and tools to stay young are ones that I hope you are also inspired by.
This past weekend Jason, Lucy and I drove up to Minneapolis for a speaking program. We were on the road for about 600 miles total, and by the end of it we were relieved to be home. Lucy was an angel, so it wasn’t our two month old who created the extra stress on the trip. The weather was fine, so it wasn’t that. It was the other drivers. Jason and I identified a significant increase in distracted drivers. Some were swaying back and forth crossing the lines without even knowing it. Others were weaving in and out of lanes so haphazardly, they were endangering everyone around them, including themselves. Jason was sweet enough to drive the entire trip, and I could tell that all of the defensive driving was wearing him out.
People just seemed rushed, stressed, and self-absorbed. Adultitis was rampant. We determined that the overall hike in stress levels must be manifesting itself on our highways. It’s a bit scary. So, what do we do about it?
When I was teaching Kindergarten I was always surprised at how in tune my students were with my stress level. Without telling them that something was bothering me they would pick up on it and react with compassion and love. I would find little gifts on my desk, like homemade pictures of flowers or pine needles from recess (they knew I loved the smell of pine needles). These small acts of kindness would turn my frown upside down… they served as a wake up call, to help me snap out of whatever funk I was in.
As with most lessons in life, the kids had the solution… love, compassion, and unmatched kindness. The best thing we can do to help the overall increase in stress right now is to do the same. We need to stick together and help one another through this. Share your smile with strangers. Practice patience by holding the door for the next person behind you. Offer to let someone with less items sneak ahead of you while waiting in line at the grocery store. Make pleasantries with the guy next to you pumping gas in the cold. Share compassion with that person at work who tends to get under your skin. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Pick up some sweets for the break room.
Now more than ever we need each other, to help one another stress less and have more fun. Making these small efforts will do more good than you’ll ever know. What will you do today to help fight the Adultitis around you?
One of my favorite products on our online store is the doormat which says, “Well, Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit, Look Who’s Here!” We’ve received so many great reactions from that simple sentence.
Speaking of biscuits, I was looking online the other day for recipes and I found a site sharing tips and techniques for making the perfect biscuit. One of the tips really stood out to me…
Stir with a Purpose: When mixing the dough, stir just until the batter is well-moistened and begins to cling together. Overworking can lead to tough, dry, and heavy biscuits; underworking can result in biscuits that are crumbly and leaden.
Do you find yourself overworking? Are you busy just for the sake of being busy, or are you “stirring with a purpose”?
The three words used to describe the overworked biscuits are very interesting: tough, dry, and heavy. They are perfect words to describe someone with Adultitis!
Interestingly enough, the words used to describe underworked biscuits are relevant on the other end of things: crumbly and leaden. Laziness is a form of childishness. Watching four hours of TV every night, procrastinating on responsibilities and burying your talents are just a few ways that underworking manifests in adult life. This is just as bad as overworking.
Adultitis is rampant in those who overwork, as well as those who underwork. The key to it all is balance and it starts with self-reflection. Take some time today to identify if any of those words describe you.
As we move into February, which tends to be a hard month for people living in the colder regions of the country, it’s time to get serious about not taking yourself too seriously… seriously! Adultitis is rampant this time of year! An easy way to fight this deadly disease is to celebrate the Super Bowl. It’s just five days away, leaving you plenty of time to come up with a fun strategy to have some super fun this weekend. There are countless ways to celebrate the Super Bowl and enjoy the game (or in my case, the commercials). Here are some ideas to get you started…
1. Host an appetizer party, with all of your favorite yummy starters.
2. Stay in your pj’s all day. Bring out the sleeping bags and comfy blankets, have a fire in the fireplace, and enjoy being lazy.
3. Have a dessert buffet. Invite guests to bring a dessert and have a sweet afternoon.
4. Play cards while the game is on. Set up card tables and have a tournament. (My favorite: euchre!)
5. Do the fondue thing. Three courses… cheese, meats, and dessert. Dip until your heart’s content.
6. Play football bingo. Everyone makes out their own bingo card with football happenings (field goal, touchdown, penalty, timeout, reviewed play, etc.). Have prizes for the winners.
7. Have the ultimate popcorn party. Offer tons of different flavors.
8. Do a pizza party on steroids. Order one pie from all of your favorite places in town.
9. Make super sundaes. Cover your counter with toppings and enjoy the childlike giddiness of creating your own.
What ideas do you have?
(If you like this post then you’ll love Club K&J, where we share fun tips like this all of the time. Become a member, here.)
I’m fairly certain you would agree that the overall stress levels have revved up considerably, as of late. Fear is all over the place. Adultitis is running rampant. The buzz word seems to be: crisis. With the financial woes, the everyday worries and concerns seem amplified- job security, bills/debt, retirement planning, education, etc. With more financial stress comes more crime, abuse, addiction, divorce…. yikes. It’s easy to become overwhelmed and let this fear paralyze you. It’s much more of a challenge to take things one day at a time, with the goal of making the best out of each situation, just like a child would.
Although, five minutes of watching the news is guaranteed to leave you quite anxious, today I am not anxious at all. Instead, I am hopeful. I am convinced that all will be well. I receive
d an email from Jason’s dad, who happens to be one of the most childlike people I know, consistently living life to the fullest. His perspective and example leaves me optimistic that the goodness of people will reign supreme. He shared…
Here is my suggestion for the “New Year’s Revolution”. (Learn about New Year’s Revolutions, here.) How about random acts of kindness? Here is my act. I have gotten in the habit of when I clean off my windows of my car after a snow, I’ll go to the car next to me and clean their windows too. I play kind of a game and try to get it done before the people come out to their car. Sometimes I get caught but it’s best when I don’t. For example today after a meeting, it was snowing pretty hard. So I cleaned off my windows and then went to the car next to me and cleaned off those windows. Now in this case I knew whose car it was and when I left it hit me that the car belonged to someone who found out recently that her employer is cutting back on everyones hours. So I know she has alot on her mind. Anyway, no big thing. But I will say I always feel better when I do one of these acts. Besides, someday I’ll be an old goat and maybe someone will do the same for me!
This sincere kindness reminds me of the five-year-olds in my former kindergarten classes. Don’t we all have a lot on our minds? Why not step away from the fear and worry and do something to help someone else? This act of genuine love will go a long way to help combat the Adultitis that is seemingly spreading like wildfire.
What will YOU do this week to be the antidote for Adultitis?
