I’m not a big fan of going to the dentist (is anybody?) although I am a big fan of MY dentist. He’s fun, honest, and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Certainly not a big risk for Adultitis.

One dental related routine that I’ve been able to form over the past few years has been flossing on a daily basis. It’s funny how instrumental losing your wife’s employer’s dental plan can be in encouraging new, beneficial habits…

I have never considered flossing to be a particularly fun past time (although definitely more fun than seeing the bill for a new crown or two.) But that was until I stumbled upon the Kai P. Dental Floss Holder. The little piranha guy sits on your bathroom counter with a string of floss sticking out of his chaw. It’s another genius example of a product of mirth. Life may be filled with routine moments and chores, but it doesn’t mean they can’t be fun.

Technorati Tags: Kai P., dental floss holder, dental hygiene, dentists, flossing, Adultitis

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As I sat typing on Daisy, my Mac, waiting for the car to get some fresh oil, I couldn’t help but smile to myself at the psychology lesson that was unfolding right before my eyes. Folks were coming in to drop off their cars for everything from oil changes to big money repairs. To say that “attitude is everything” at the mechanics is an understatement.

First a thirty-something woman came in, very Eeyore-like. Although she wasn’t elderly, she sure seemed to be moving at a pace that would get her some significant discounts at Arby’s. Her presence was gloomy and grey, just like America’s favorite depressed donkey. The cheery voice behind the counter asked her how her day was starting. She responded with a weary, “Not horrible, I guess. I’m just tired.” God bless him, the determined optimist joked , “Well, at least you’re not sick AND tired.” No laugh.

Shortly after, a baby boomer gentleman came bouncing through the door with a smile on his face and a friendly salutation that extended to everyone in the room. Such a stark contrast, I stopped working to take notice. This guy was larger than life. He brought the sunshine in with him. It was clear in my quick assessment that he loved living, was confident and purpose-driven, and that he was going to have a great day, no matter what. He seemed be living Tigger’s philosophy, “Bouncing is what Tiggers do best.”

Which one are you?

Look above you right now. Do you have a storm cloud lingering overhead or a rainbow?
Look on your desk, is your glass half full or half empty (or bone dry)?

The harsh reality is that within three seconds of encountering someone new, you are evaluated, the first impressions are made and that impression is almost impossible to reverse. Sure, life isn’t all daisies and roses, but how quickly do you bounce back? Rainbow and storm clouds exist in the same sky. One secret to keeping that rainbow above you is to surround yourself with positive people. As Jason reminded you last month…

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” - Jim Rohn

My friend, Rich “the big kid” DiGirolamo ends all of his emails with, “Make something fun happen today! The world needs it!” And then there’s my buddy, Phil Gerbyshak, the Make It Great Guy! He’s constantly encouraging others to “Make every day a Great Day!”

Look around you, are “your five people” bouncing or trudging through life?

If someone saw you at the mechanics, what first impression would you make?

Take charge of your attitude.

It’s time for a tune up.

Technorati Tags: attitude, Rich “the big kid” DiGirolamo, Phil Gerbyshak, Eeyore, Tigger

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Ok, this topic is coming up so often, I’ve now deemed it an official category of this blog:

Adults Are Ruining Everything.

Not to be content with suffering the effects of Adultitis in their own life, we have an epidemic of stupid people trying to spread it to everyone. Childhood as we knew it is in danger. If this keeps up, an outbreak of Juvenile Adultitis is on the horizon.

Curt Rosengren of Motto Magazine points us to an article about an elementary school that has banned…tag.

Freaking TAG!!!

Why? Because “some children complained they were harassed or chased against their will.”

“It causes a lot of conflict on the playground,” said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus school. Running games are still allowed as long as students don’t chase each other, she said.

What’s next? Banning hide and seek because kids who weren’t immediately found felt a deep sense of loneliness? No more kick ball until we figure out a way to ensure that someone won’t get picked last?

What has led us to this point where we care more about not hurting people’s feelings than we do about using a little common sense? One person is offended by something (or these days, just the THREAT that someone MIGHT be offended by something) and we have to completely ban a childhood game, cancel a Christmas party, or shut down an entire holiday.

I’m not saying we should be disrespectful of other people’s rights and freedoms. I am saying that this childishness needs to end and people need to grow up.

Technorati Tags: banning tag, Adultitis, Discovery Canyon Campus school, Motto Magazine, Curt Rosengren

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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” –Marcel Proust

By default, children are born into this world with new eyes. That’s why they get so excited by the little things. Years of living can build up thin layers of film over our perspective. Our vision gets cloudy; life becomes a boring shade of gray.

Part of what it means to escape adulthood is not to seek ever more elaborate and expensive experiences, but to wake up to the small treasures all around you and see the world with new eyes.

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As I mentioned last week, I am compiling a list of lessons to help adults move “Beyond the Elementary,” in order to overcome stress and acheive success. Lesson #1 was “Smile and say hello.” Now for lesson #2.

2. Own your feelings

One of the social emotional development curricula I was required to use while teaching focused on “I feel” statements. The lessons required students to look at photos of people showing exaggerated emotions. After they identified the emotions I would model the language, such as “Tommy feels sad because his dog is lost.” Eventually, after lots of practice identifying emotions in others, students would role play using “I feel” statements in common situations. We would concoct everyday challenges and they would practice using the language, like “I feel mad that Susan has the toy I want.”

As cheesy as this all sounds (and believe me it did feel hokey most days), these lessons became invaluable tools during free-play time (a.k.a. the most important part of any kindergartner’s day). It never failed, someone would grab the coolest lego ship away from someone else, who had waited her turn to play with it, and kindergarten mayhem would break out. And if it were Friday, this would definitely lead to tears (Cryday, Friday).

Thanks to our previous lessons with the cheesy pictures, this is how the dust would settle. With some prompting from me, and as the year went on, from the other students, the plaintiff would say, “I feel mad that you took the toy from me.” The defendant would sheepishly hand it back to her and all would, again, be well in the world of blocks and finger paint.

Owning your feelings. It’s seems pretty straightforward, but you make it much more difficult. Adults like to incorporate blame, resentment and the ever popular gossip.

Granted your feelings are justifyably more complex that when you were a kid, with feelings of jealousy, disappointment, despair, disgust, exhaustion, etc. Ironically, the simple elementary school emotions can often be just as hard. The basic four emotions of feeling sad, mad, glad, and bad remind me that Dr. Suess was a genius. All of this makes up our Emotional Intelligence, which is the foundation for relationships that many brilliant scholars and execs have not yet been able to accomplish. Challenges in this area are not limited to our higher level thinking adults, however. This is a universal problem, leading to some advanced stages of Adultitis.

Do you ever bury your true feelings because you think it will be easier if you don’t speak up?
Do you carry any resentment or grudges?

A heartfelt and courageous, “I feel” statement can heal the darkest relationships. It doesn’t have to look as corny as it did in the classroom. It’s just a matter of identifying the emotion that is causing unrest and telling those who are connected to the problem.

There are four steps to help you succeed in this and prevent you from being nicknamed Lucy from Charlie Brown.

1. Look in the mirror first. Fess up about your role in the mix. What have you done, or neglected, that has contributed to this feeling? Do not blame others for your own gunk.
2. When you confront someone about your feelings, be pleasant. Check your tone, avoiding the childish wining tendency.
3. Don’t be a doormat. Be sincere about how you really feel. Don’t short yourself by saying only what you think will be accepted.
4. Don’t create something out of nothing. People have a very low tolerance for adults who are oversensitive.

If kids can learn to own their own feelings and move on, without holding grudges, then surely adults can too.

Technorati Tags: Emotional Intelligence, I feel, Adultitis, feelings, Dr. Suess

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The S.W.E.L.L. (Supremely Wonderful & Exciting Loot Lottery) prize winner for August is Club K&J member Marilyn Schoberg! Marilyn wins a movie-style popcorn bucket, chock full of all the things that (lets face it) really matter in life: chocolate, popcorn, cookies and movie candy. Marylin, grab your favorite DVD and sit back and enjoy the show!

Wanna have a chance to win next month’s S.W.E.L.L. prize? Become an official Club K&J subscriber today!

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I have never worked in a cubicle (I’m not counting my nightmares), but I have worked in quite a few jobs in which I swear the hands on the time clock were engineered to go backwards every few hours. Fortunately, those jobs were stepping stones for me; catalysts that would inspire me to never slip into a career that bored me. So far, so good.

If you’re stuck in a job that started out as a stepping stone but has morphed into a well-worn rut, you may want to take a long hard look at your life. Seriously, follow those last three links and read up.

For those of you perfectly content sticking it out in your mind numbing jobs (because hey, the benefits are spectacular!), check out this video. As On The Lot wunderkind director Zack Lipovsky shows us, there are still some cheap ways to fight the office Adultitis brought on by long days at boring jobs.

Technorati Tags: On the Lot, Zach Lipovsky, cubicle, boring careers, Adultitis

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“Everything has changed now, except our way of thinking. And we’ve got to find ways to change our way of thinking.” -Albert Einstein

Chris Clarke-Epstein, our friend and colleague, shared this quote in her recent “Thinking for a Change” newsletter. (I highly recommend signing up for this weekly bite sized nugget of wisdom.)

This quote really spoke to me because as you know we recently underwent a big change in our business, moving into our new office space. In a way it does feel like “everything has changed.” It’s now time to start asking some uncomfortable “why” questions. If you’ve ever had a conversation with a three-year-old, then you undoubtedly know the type of questions I’m talking about. Just another example of how kids are our sherpas.

Asking “why” is a valuable step towards changing the way you think. The honest answers can lead you to some amazing discoveries. These “why” conversations don’t just happen, though. You have to set yourself up for a clear mindset by being well rested and energized, with a touch of frustration for your current situation.

Jason and I had the perfect storm of this on Sunday. We always make our biggest decisions while walking, which is not a coincidence. You don’t have to perform brain surgeries from 9-5 to know that there is a connection between our mind and our bodies. Our buddy Scott Ginsberg, whom we interviewed in our recent magazine, talks about this in his article, “Four ways to sidestep your creative blocks and motivate your muse.” He shares,

Have you ever noticed how creative you get while exercising for extended periods of time? That’s not a coincidence, either – it’s biological. According to Molecules of Emotion by Candace B. Pert, continuous exercise like running, long-distance swimming, aerobics, cycling or cross-country skiing appears to contribute to an increased production and release of endorphins. These endorphins are morphine-like substances that have strong affects on the brain and body during exercise. They result in a sense of euphoria that has been popularly labeled as the “runner’s high.”

Jason and I continuously experience this, and Sunday afternoon in sunny Madison was no exception. We love to go on walks. You can somewhat picture where our favorite path is in this picture. It’s amidst the row of trees on the edge of the lake (the lake on the left, also known as Lake Mendota), facing all of the sailboats on the water. It’s quite a view!

After our two hour walk by the lake we had answered some hard questions and came to the conclusion that we needed to merge three existing Kim & Jason blogs,- mine, his and the Club K&J blog. It was time. As we laid in bed that night, with an equal mix of exhaustion and excitement, Jason summarized the day by announcing, “Hey, our blogs got married today.”

You just never know what the hard, honest questions will lead to, but you can be sure you’ll be further along on your journey when it’s all said and done.

What do you need to change your thinking about?

What in your life needs to be re-examined and picked apart with an honest “why” conversation?

Lace up those sneakers and see where you end up.

Technorati Tags: change, Chris Clarke-Epstein, Scott Ginsberg, Albert Einstein, asking why, exercise, Madison, WI

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After many discussions and a long walk by the lake today, we have decided to combine blogs. From here on out, all of our posts will appear on this blog. Plus, the Club K&J blog is also going to get merged into this blog.

The cool thing about this is that if you use an RSS reader, you can now get all the Kim & Jason news fit to blog about in one feed, which is http://feeds.feedburner.com/escapeadulthoodblog. (You can also get blog updates by e-mail via the "Get Blog Updates" section of the sidebar over there on the left.) It also should help us keep our heads from spinning, since in the past, we’d sometimes post the same thing on all three blogs. Not exactly the epitome of efficiency.

So all of you coming over from Kim’s blog, hopefully you’ll think Jason’s not too shabby either. And for the regular readers of Jason’s blog, hopefully you’ll think she’s quite swell as well.

And to all of you, thanks for reading and helping us in our crusade to annihilate Adultitis!

Cheers,

Kim & Jason

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When I spent my days with five-year-olds, I was one of the most patient people in the world. Seriously, it was a gift from above, and I don’t claim to take any credit for it. Now if I would’ve taught for thirty-five years instead of five maybe my patience would’ve been a bit thinner, but regardless my ability to remain calm and contained amidst the chaos of rugrats was something that now enables me to look back fondly upon my years sitting on very short chairs and cleaning up spilled milk in the carpet everyday. So, I’m patient with kids, big deal in the grand scheme of things. It’s the adults who wear me down. It wasn’t until Jason and I identified the problem a few years ago, that I became to transform my impatience and intolerance into empathy and understanding. 

It all boils down to Adultitis. So, what’s my problem with adults?

I have zero tolerance for adults who have not yet mastered basic elementary school lessons. In many cases they haven’t gone beyond 1st or 2nd grade, and I’m not talking about academics at all. It hardly seems fair to expect children to live up to these standards within the walls of the schools, when they walk out the door to a world that doesn’t consistently honor these basic principles of respect and communication. If one has not yet mastered these fundamental tenants of human interactions and relationships then he/she is destined to be "stuck" in their current state of being. They need to move "Beyond the Elementary" in order to overcome stress and acheive success. In other words, you can’t advance towards your goals with positive results until you’ve managed to get beyond your childish regime. As you know, Jason has identified the "8 Secrets from Childhood for the Stressed-Out Grown-Up," serving as a guide to adults on how to be more childlike, living life more abundantly with less stress and more fun. I am developing a list of lessons I taught day in and day out while serving as an educator. These same lessons are ones that I constantly see adults falling short on. These lessons will help adults move from childish to childike, and there is a huge difference between the two. These childish behaviors give the goal of "being more childlike" a bad rap, and I certainly won’t have that!

Without further ado, here’s the first lesson on my list…

1. Smile and say hello.
This was a basic skill we worked on in school with those students who had problems making eye contact, with shy kids, and with ones who were too self-absorbed to really care about a friendly interaction with another person. Whatever the different reasons may be, adults have problems genuinely greeting other people and saying hello. I know the reality- you’re busy, not wanting to be bothered, and certainly don’t want to get stuck in a dead-end conversation with a "talker." I feel the same fear, but it’s good to remember that most people aren’t that extremely out-of-touch. When you choose to keep our head down while standing in line at the grocery store you are slowly, one unconscious choice at a time, building your own island. Sure, it may seem too forward to introduce yourself to the man behind you, but it is polite and authentic to smile and say hello. I know everyone hates small talk, but isn’t it better than coexisting in our own isolated worlds? Most adults are starving for some genuine interaction and are sick of the detached bubbles they have managed to confine themselves to. It’s childish to be a scrooge. Kids who act this way look like they are pouting and crabby, ready for a nap. Adults look the same way.

You’ll notice that children are often the communication bridge between two Adultitis-ridden grown-ups. Also, the most childlike adults I know are also the ones who strike up conversations with complete strangers. After their shared five minutes, they’ve managed to brighten each other’s day through the common goodness that lies inside of every human being.

Jump off of your deserted island with a simple smile and hello. It can be a bridge to great discoveries.

(More lessons to come…)

Technorati Tags: elementary school, kindergarten, Adultitis, busyness, saying hello

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Dang, where did the summer go? We’ve still got some time left, but once the kids start going back to school you can smell fall in the air. I’m gonna be busy over the next week putting the finishing touches on the latest issue of the Escape Adulthood magazine (you can get it mailed to your door if you’re a Club K&J member) so posting may be a bit sparse.

I’m taking this opportunity to present my favorite 10 posts from the summer. Maybe you’re new and haven’t read any of them. Or maybe you somehow missed a few of them because you were on vacation (good for you!). Consider this either a list of tasty tidbits to whet your appetite, or a plate of leftovers that taste even better the second time around. Or something.

Pro Choice | Not about what you think.

How to Mess Up Your Vacation | A great primer if you still have some vacation time left.

You Are in Perpetual Beta Mode | You ain’t perfect so quit acting like you are.

The Price of Losing Free Play | You’re not one of those grown-ups ruining everything, are you?

While You Were Busy, Life Passed By | A must-read for those of you who just remembered you haven’t checked your e-mail in 10 minutes.

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Just Doing It | I’m especially proud of the fake book cover I designed for this one.

Adultitis Case Study #1 | See the serious side of Adultitis. Then warn your friends.

Are Grown-Ups Obsolete? | Well, are they? The answer might surprise you.

The New American Dream | The American Dream has changed. What do we covet now?

Get Up Faster | What to do when everything goes wrong.

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Several weeks ago I came across a post on the Church of the Customer blog entitled, Products of Mirth. It featured a photo of some interesting shoes, pictured here. First, I had to ask Stinky what "mirth" meant. He told me that it was a noun that meant "gladness and gaiety, especially when expressed by laughter." Got it. (I’m so glad he is a connoisseur of the English language.)

Apparently, the high-heeled flippers are not for sale. They’re a simple art project. I think they’re pretty funny, but I like even more what Ben McConnell had to say about them:

It would be hard to imagine a child looking at that photograph and saying "someone has too much time on their hands." A child would probably imagine the possibilities of high-heeled flippers.

That’s the thing about mirth, especially with children: they enjoy mirth without shame or guilt, whether it’s the delicious ridiculousness of green eggs and ham or a knock-knock joke they repeat 20 times to grandma. Mirth is joy. People with a happy infectiousness spread their joy. To a little kid, mirth isn’t stupid. Mirth is a license to share. Mirth spreads.

Turns out, I’m a sucker for mirth. Mirth is cool.

Examples of things created with a splash of mirth are everywhere. Funsmith Bernie DeKoven recently pointed out a noodle-eating ship and CDs that put their holes to good use. Heck, our Lemonade Stand is chock full of mirthiness (note to self: check with Stinky to see if that is a real word), including one of my favorites, a Snail Tape Dispenser.

On the whole, these little touches don’t seem to really add anything to the overall functionality of the product. To the person with Adultitis, they may seem unnecessary, superfluous, or as Ben McConnell writes, evidence of "someone having too much time on their hands." But they actually do something quite important.

They have the power to uplift the human spirit. 

"Products of mirth" are divine. You see, God has a playful, witty, and whimsically creative spirit. You can see that time and again in his creation: the platypus, the giraffe, a puppy’s tail, the infectious giggle of an infant. The Bible itself is filled with ironic twists and parables that turn things upside down. Look in the mirror first thing tomorrow morning and tell me that God doesn’t have a sense of humor.

When we as humans tap into that spirit, adding a sense of playfulness and whimsy to the world around us, magic happens. We connect with something supernatural. Something good. Something that elevates the human condition.

P.T. Barnum once said, "The noblest art is that of making others happy." Whether you are a business owner or an artist or a marketer or a school teacher or an architect — whatever you are — never underestimate the power of a smile. Whenever you can bring a little gladness and gaiety to someone’s day, do it. Ignore the people with Adultitis; there is nothing superfluous or trivial about it. It’s one of the reason’s you’re here.

God knows, we could all stand to be a little more mirthy.

Technorati Tags: mirth, Chuch of the Customer, whimsy, playful, Adultitis, marketing, platypus, giraffe, P.T. Barnum, God

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