I’m not a big fan of going to the dentist (is anybody?) although I am a big fan of MY dentist. He’s fun, honest, and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Certainly not a big risk for Adultitis.
One dental related routine that I’ve been able to form over the past few years has been flossing on a daily basis. It’s funny how instrumental losing your wife’s employer’s dental plan can be in encouraging new, beneficial habits…
I have never considered flossing to be a particularly fun past time (although definitely more fun than seeing the bill for a new crown or two.) But that was until I stumbled upon the Kai P. Dental Floss Holder. The little piranha guy sits on your bathroom counter with a string of floss sticking out of his chaw. It’s another genius example of a product of mirth. Life may be filled with routine moments and chores, but it doesn’t mean they can’t be fun.
Technorati Tags: Kai P., dental floss holder, dental hygiene, dentists, flossing, Adultitis
As I sat typing on Daisy, my Mac, waiting for the car to get some fresh oil, I couldn’t help but smile to myself at the psychology lesson that was unfolding right before my eyes. Folks were coming in to drop off their cars for everything from oil changes to big money repairs. To say that “attitude is everything” at the mechanics is an understatement.
First a thirty-something woman came in, very Eeyore-like. Although she wasn’t elderly, she sure seemed to be moving at a pace that would get her some significant discounts at Arby’s. Her presence was gloomy and grey, just like America’s favorite depressed donkey. The cheery voice behind the counter asked her how her day was starting. She responded with a weary, “Not horrible, I guess. I’m just tired.” God bless him, the determined optimist joked , “Well, at least you’re not sick AND tired.” No laugh.
Shortly after, a baby boomer gentleman came bouncing through the door with a smile on his face and a friendly salutation that extended to everyone in the room. Such a stark contrast, I stopped working to take notice. This guy was larger than life. He brought the sunshine in with him. It was clear in my quick assessment that he loved living, was confident and purpose-driven, and that he was going to have a great day, 
no matter what. He seemed be living Tigger’s philosophy, “Bouncing is what Tiggers do best.”
Which one are you?
Look above you right now. Do you have a storm cloud lingering overhead or a rainbow?
Look on your desk, is your glass half full or half empty (or bone dry)?
The harsh reality is that within three seconds of encountering someone new, you are evaluated, the first impressions are made and that impression is almost impossible to reverse. Sure, life isn’t all daisies and roses, but how quickly do you bounce back? Rainbow and storm clouds exist in the same sky. One secret to keeping that rainbow above you is to surround yourself with positive people. As Jason reminded you last month…
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
My friend, Rich “the big kid” DiGirolamo ends all of his emails with, “Make something fun happen today! The world needs it!” And then there’s my buddy, Phil Gerbyshak, the Make It Great Guy! He’s constantly encouraging others to “Make every day a Great Day!”
Look around you, are “your five people” bouncing or trudging through life?
If someone saw you at the mechanics, what first impression would you make?
Take charge of your attitude.
It’s time for a tune up.
Technorati Tags: attitude, Rich “the big kid” DiGirolamo, Phil Gerbyshak, Eeyore, Tigger
Ok, this topic is coming up so often, I’ve now deemed it an official category of this blog:
Adults Are Ruining Everything.
Not to be content with suffering the effects of Adultitis in their own life, we have an epidemic of stupid people trying to spread it to everyone. Childhood as we knew it is in danger. If this keeps up, an outbreak of Juvenile Adultitis is on the horizon.
Curt Rosengren of Motto Magazine points us to an article about an elementary school that has banned…tag.
Freaking TAG!!!
Why? Because “some children complained they were harassed or chased against their will.”
“It causes a lot of conflict on the playground,” said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus school. Running games are still allowed as long as students don’t chase each other, she said.
What’s next? Banning hide and seek because kids who weren’t immediately found felt a deep sense of loneliness? No more kick ball until we figure out a way to ensure that someone won’t get picked last?
What has led us to this point where we care more about not hurting people’s feelings than we do about using a little common sense? One person is offended by something (or these days, just the THREAT that someone MIGHT be offended by something) and we have to completely ban a childhood game, cancel a Christmas party, or shut down an entire holiday.
I’m not saying we should be disrespectful of other people’s rights and freedoms. I am saying that this childishness needs to end and people need to grow up.
Technorati Tags: banning tag, Adultitis, Discovery Canyon Campus school, Motto Magazine, Curt Rosengren
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” –Marcel Proust
By default, children are born into this world with new eyes. That’s why they get so excited by the little things. Years of living can build up thin layers of film over our perspective. Our vision gets cloudy; life becomes a boring shade of gray.
Part of what it means to escape adulthood is not to seek ever more elaborate and expensive experiences, but to wake up to the small treasures all around you and see the world with new eyes.
As I mentioned last week, I am compiling a list of lessons to help adults move “Beyond the Elementary,” in order to overcome stress and acheive success. Lesson #1 was “Smile and say hello.” Now for lesson #2.
2. Own your feelings
One of the social emotional development curricula I was required to use while teaching focused on “I feel” statements. The lessons required students to look at photos of people showing exaggerated emotions. After they identified the emotions I would model the language, such as “Tommy feels sad because his dog is lost.” Eventually, after lots of practice identifying emotions in others, students would role play using “I feel” statements in common situations. We would concoct everyday challenges and they would practice using the language, like “I feel mad that Susan has the toy I want.”
As cheesy as this all sounds (and believe me it did feel hokey most days), these lessons became invaluable tools during free-play time (a.k.a. the most important part of any kindergartner’s day). It never failed, someone would grab the coolest lego ship away from someone else, who had waited her turn to play with it, and kindergarten mayhem would break out. And if it were Friday, this would definitely lead to tears (Cryday, Friday).
Thanks to our previous lessons with the cheesy pictures, this is how the dust would settle. With some prompting from me, and as the year went on, from the other students, the plaintiff would say, “I feel mad that you took the toy from me.” The defendant would sheepishly hand it back to her and all would, again, be well in the world of blocks and finger paint.
Owning your feelings. It’s seems pretty straightforward, but you make it much more difficult. Adults like to incorporate blame, resentment and the ever popular gossip.
Granted your feelings are justifyably more complex that when you were a kid, with feelings of jealousy, disappointment, despair, disgust, exhaustion, etc. Ironically, the simple elementary school emotions can often be just as hard. The basic four emotions of feeling sad, mad, glad, and bad remind me that Dr. Suess was a genius. All of this makes up our Emotional Intelligence, which is the foundation for relationships that many brilliant scholars and execs have not yet been able to accomplish. Challenges in this area are not limited to our higher level thinking adults, however. This is a universal problem, leading to some advanced stages of Adultitis.
Do you ever bury your true feelings because you think it will be easier if you don’t speak up?
Do you carry any resentment or grudges?
A heartfelt and courageous, “I feel” statement can heal the darkest relationships. It doesn’t have to look as corny as it did in the classroom. It’s just a matter of identifying the emotion that is causing unrest and telling those who are connected to the problem.
There are four steps to help you succeed in this and prevent you from being nicknamed Lucy from Charlie Brown.
1. Look in the mirror first. Fess up about your role in the mix. What have you done, or neglected, that has contributed to this feeling? Do not blame others for your own gunk.
2. When you confront someone about your feelings, be pleasant. Check your tone, avoiding the childish wining tendency.
3. Don’t be a doormat. Be sincere about how you really feel. Don’t short yourself by saying only what you think will be accepted.
4. Don’t create something out of nothing. People have a very low tolerance for adults who are oversensitive.
If kids can learn to own their own feelings and move on, without holding grudges, then surely adults can too.
Technorati Tags: Emotional Intelligence, I feel, Adultitis, feelings, Dr. Suess
The S.W.E.L.L. (Supremely Wonderful & Exciting Loot Lottery) prize winner for August is Club K&J member Marilyn Schoberg! Marilyn wins a movie-style popcorn bucket, chock full of all the things that (lets face it) really matter in life: chocolate, popcorn, cookies and movie candy. Marylin, grab your favorite DVD and sit back and enjoy the show!
Wanna have a chance to win next month’s S.W.E.L.L. prize? Become an official Club K&J subscriber today!
I have never worked in a cubicle (I’m not counting my nightmares), but I have worked in quite a few jobs in which I swear the hands on the time clock were engineered to go backwards every few hours. Fortunately, those jobs were stepping stones for me; catalysts that would inspire me to never slip into a career that bored me. So far, so good.
If you’re stuck in a job that started out as a stepping stone but has morphed into a well-worn rut, you may want to take a long hard look at your life. Seriously, follow those last three links and read up.
For those of you perfectly content sticking it out in your mind numbing jobs (because hey, the benefits are spectacular!), check out this video. As On The Lot wunderkind director Zack Lipovsky shows us, there are still some cheap ways to fight the office Adultitis brought on by long days at boring jobs.
Technorati Tags: On the Lot, Zach Lipovsky, cubicle, boring careers, Adultitis
“Everything has changed now, except our way of thinking. And we’ve got to find ways to change our way of thinking.” -Albert Einstein
Chris Clarke-Epstein, our friend and colleague, shared this quote in her recent “Thinking for a Change” newsletter. (I highly recommend signing up for this weekly bite sized nugget of wisdom.)
This quote really spoke to me because as you know we recently underwent a big change in our business, moving into our new office space. In a way it does feel like “everything has changed.” It’s now time to start asking some uncomfortable “why” questions. If you’ve ever had a conversation with a three-year-old, then you undoubtedly know the type of questions I’m talking about. Just another example of how kids are our sherpas.
Asking “why” is a valuable step towards changing the way you think. The honest answers can lead you to some amazing discoveries. These “why” conversations don’t just happen, though. You have to set yourself up for a clear mindset by being well rested and energized, with a touch of frustration for your current situation.
Jason and I had the perfect storm of this on Sunday. We always make our biggest decisions while walking, which is not a coincidence. You don’t have to perform brain surgeries from 9-5 to know that there is a connection between our mind and our bodies. Our buddy Scott Ginsberg, whom we interviewed in our recent magazine, talks about this in his article, “Four ways to sidestep your creative blocks and motivate your muse.” He shares,
Have you ever noticed how creative you get while exercising for extended periods of time? That’s not a coincidence, either – it’s biological. According to Molecules of Emotion by Candace B. Pert, continuous exercise like running, long-distance swimming, aerobics, cycling or cross-country skiing appears to contribute to an increased production and release of endorphins. These endorphins are morphine-like substances that have strong affects on the brain and body during exercise. They result in a sense of euphoria that has been popularly labeled as the “runner’s high.”
Jason and I continuously experience this, and Sunday afternoon in sunny Madison was no exception. We love to go on walks. You can somewhat picture where our favorite path is in this picture. It’s amidst the row of trees on the edge of the lake (the lake on the left, also known as Lake Mendota), facing all of the sailboats on the water. It’s quite a view!
After our two hour walk by the lake we had answered some hard questions and came to the conclusion that we needed to merge three existing Kim & Jason blogs,- mine, his and the Club K&J blog. It was time. As we laid in bed that night, with an equal mix of exhaustion and excitement, Jason summarized the day by announcing, “Hey, our blogs got married today.”
You just never know what the hard, honest questions will lead to, but you can be sure you’ll be further along on your journey when it’s all said and done.
What do you need to change your thinking about?
What in your life needs to be re-examined and picked apart with an honest “why” conversation?
Lace up those sneakers and see where you end up.
Technorati Tags: change, Chris Clarke-Epstein, Scott Ginsberg, Albert Einstein, asking why, exercise, Madison, WI
