From the monthly archives:

July 2007

“I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”

This is a common reaction from people, especially after hearing our speaking programs and realizing that to truly live with a childlike heart (aka Adultitis-free) one must be pursuing his/her passion. The next statement is usually, Dwight.jpg

“I’m not even sure what my passion is.”

To quote Dwight Schrute from The Office

“False.”

You know what it is. You may need to uncover it, but it’s there somewhere inside of you. It’s often buried under layers of hurt and disappointment, or it’s safely hidden so deeply protected from fear and self-doubt. The reason you’ve covered it up so tightly is that somehow you know that if you rediscover that passion, you will also unveil all that was neatly buried with it, which is guaranteed to be quite messy. You also know that life is soon to become uncomfortable.

If you are one of the many people who don’t know what your passion or purpose in life is, I have four questions for you to answer…

1. What gets you the most livid? What causes you to rant and steam in anger? Also, what can bring you to an emotional state very quickly? (Smiling to tears in seconds.) The causes for these extreme emotions are hints.

2. What would you love to do so much that you’d do it all day long for free?

3. What are you really really good at?

4. When’s the last time you prayed for guidance about what you are supposed to be doing with your life? If you believe in God and that there is a reason for everything, then there is most certainly a reason for your existence. Ask God to reveal it to you. He wants to lead you, but needs you to be open. (Ya know, that whole free will stuff.)

The first three answers give you major clues about your passion and purpose. The third question is the most essential step in the process.

If you are uncomfortable or confused about any or all of these questions, then I am happy to tell you that you are ready to go to the next level. Do you feel like you are ready? Well, no maybe not, but you’ll be fine. The truth is that most likely you have been convincing yourself that it’s easier to just keep your head down, to stay safetly in the boat, and not draw any attention to yourself. If you step out onto the water you may start to sink and then you’ll have an audience of people pointing and laughing.

Well, it’s time to step out of the boat.

If the answers to each of these questions came easily, then you are on the right path. Keep persisting. You will inevitably meet resistance in many forms, but also be filled with a peace that surpasses all understanding.

I received my first nasty comment on my blog the other day. “Anonymous” was upset about something I said, that’s for sure, but decided to express it emotionally. I delete anonymous comments that are rude, but is exciting to know that one of my posts created that much emotion and reaction. I’m doing something right. If everyone likes what you’re doing, then you’re not doing anything remarkable.

So, no, you may not be “ready,” but you never will be. The time is now.

“First you jump off the cliff and you build wings on the way down.” – Ray Bradbury

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jack

car_with_american_flag.jpg

When success is equated with excess
The ambition for excess wrecks us
As top of the mind becomes the bottom line
When success is equated with excess

If your time ain’t been nothing for money
I start to feel really bad for you, honey
Maybe honey, put your money where your mouth’s been running
If your time ain’t been nothing but money

I want out of this machine
It doesn’t feel like freedom

This ain’t my American dream
I want to live and die for bigger things
I’m tired of fighting for just me
This ain’t my American dream

Those are lyrics to a song called American Dream written by Switchfoot, one of my favorite bands ever.

So what IS the American Dream? It used to be something like this: to seize an opportunity and pick yourself up by the bootstraps to make a life for yourself. Oh, and buy a house with a white picket fence (do they still make those anymore?). Then it seems we slid into the idea of buying a bigger house, filled with lots and lots of stuff, surrounded by a much shinier white picket fence.

But it appears that the American Dream is shifting yet again. 

Penelope Trunk, author of The Brazen Careerist, recently wrote an article sharing her perspective on the new American Dream, in response to a study by the Pew Trust that found for the first time ever, men in their 30s are making less than their parents. Here is what she has to say:

Generation X values their family more than their money. Our American Dream is not about buying a big house, our dream is about keeping a family together. You can tell a lot about values by the terms that are coined. When baby boomers were raising kids they invented the term latchkey kid and yuppie; we invented the terms shared care and stay-at-home-dad. The divorce rate for baby boomers was higher than any other generation. We can afford to have less money because most of us don’t need to fund two separate households.

The new American dream is that we will have fulfilling work that leaves plenty of time for the other things in life we love. In this respect, Generation X is doing better than our parents: We are spending more time with our kids, and we are keeping our marriages together more than twice as effectively as our parents did. And Generation Y is doing better than their parents, too: They refuse to waste their time on meaningless entry level work because they value their time and their ability to grow more than that.

The new American dream is about time. It’s not a race to earn the most to buy the biggest. It’s a dream of personal growth and quality relationships….Our dream is not about accumulating money to do what we love at the end. We are hell-bent on doing what we love the whole way.

I think Penelope is on to something here, and I think the Switchfoot song echoes that mentality. I wish it could say it was a universal trend, but alas, I see too many peers trading their time for 50- and 60-hour workweeks working jobs they don’t particularly like. Most of them seem lost to me. (Check out another great take on this topic by Chris Rako.) However, I do think there is a movement underfoot in which people are more in tune with some of the things that may have been lost in past generations, namely time, family, marriage, and the importance of doing meaningful work for more than just a steady paycheck and the almighty benefits package.

The idea of more value being placed on time is one of the main themes put forth by Timothy Ferris’s in The 4-Hour Workweek. He draws a comparison between the "old rich" (who sought to buy expensive stuff and own multiple homes all over the place) and the "new rich" (those who prefer to explore the world, learn new skills, try new things, and work from anywhere, free from the headaches that come with maintaining, storing, and insuring all the stuff).

I see this shift as a good thing, and I hope it continues. The strength of any society is dependent on the strength and importance placed on the family. And a more global mindset and exposure to other cultures helps bring people together, not always to agree, but to appreciate differences and understand chronically misunderstood points of view.

My American dream is about seizing the moment, taking advantage of the opportunity that only America can offer, living life to the fullest, and making a positive difference in the life of others. It’s more about time than money. It’s about living and dying for bigger things.

What about you? What is your American dream?

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jack

I decided it would be fun to participate in the Dog Days of Summer Bloggy Giveaway dreamed up by Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer. Between this and the free ice cream promotion, it appears that I have lost all sense of what it means to run a profitable business…but what the heck.

So here’s the deal: We’re giving away a Tea Time for Mom Gift Set, valued at $55. First, a little bit about the prize:

Everything Mom needs to make tea-time a much deserved me-time with this lovely basket featuring a 5×7 version of our popular "Mother" Print in a black frame. A variety of fine teas complimented by chocolates and tea cookies are great to enjoy while reading "Escape Adulthood: 8 Secrets from Childhood for the Stressed-Out Grown-Up." We’ve included an 11 oz. Kim & Jason mug to complete this delightful gift box.

We only have one left in stock, so here’s how you can make it yours…

  1. Leave a comment on this post, sharing a way that you escaped adulthood recently.
  2. I’ll pick a winner from the list of comments on Friday, July 27th. Deadline for entries is 5:00 pm CST on that day.
  3. You don’t need to leave your home address. I’ll contact the winner by e-mail to get that info (and I won’t share it with anyone.)

Anybody living in the continental U.S. can win — you don’t need to be a blogger (or a mom, for that matter). Just leave your comment with an example of how you escaped adulthood recently and you’re eligible to win!

UPDATE: The winner of the Tea Time for Mom gift set is Libby. Here’s what she said:

Sunday afternoon at our friends’ 40th birthday party, me, my husband, my 3-year old and our friend’s daughter enjoyed their huge air-filled water slide to cool off. You know, those “very tall” things with water shooting from everywhere that are like $400 at Wal-mart? My friends were all worried it was too dirty for us to use. (Hardly–they have a bit of adultitis by the way) It was a blast. My husband had to borrow trunks even. The rest of the adults sat inside out of the sun. Great memory for us as a family.

Congrats, Libby! Thanks to everyone who played! Check out other cool gifts for the young at heart at the Kim & Jason Lemonade Stand

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jack

nostalgia_candy.jpgThe S.W.E.L.L. (Supremely Wonderful & Exciting Loot Lottery) prize winner for July is Super member Marissa Ostrego! Marissa wins a gift box of sweet nostalgia. Inside a DOTS lunchbox we have included the top all time favorite candies from the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. Open the lunchbox to find a Pez dispenser, Nik-L-Nip, Chick O Stick, a candy necklace, candy dots, Sugar Daddy, Cracker Jacks and much much more. It’s a fun blast from the past. Congrats, Marissa — enjoy your tasty trip down memory lane!

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jack

Summer is coming to a close, so you need to make the most of these last few weeks. When school starts the harsh reality for most kids is that their small amount of free time will soon be filled with homework, soccer, music lessons, church classes and sleeping. To read more about how overscheduled kids are destined to become perfectionist adults (riddled with Adultitis), check out this article.young_ville_in_a_tree.jpg

It’s time to cross-reference your recent summertime activities with my list of 11 Things Kids Must Do During Summer. If you would like more ideas, I highly recommend the awesome book, “101 Things Every Kid Should Do Growing Up,” by Alecia T. Devantier. These ideas are not limited to the under 18 crowd, so feel free to bring back some childhood memories by tackling these on your own without the company of kids. (I’m not sure about adults sitting at a lemonade stand, though.)

1. Sleep outside. If you missed the Great American Backyard Campout a few weeks ago, grab the sleeping bag and get going.

2. Have a water fight, preferably barefoot. You don’t need those fancy super soakers. We used to soak each other with the hose and empty shampoo, syrup, and dish soap bottles. Fill a few balloons while you’re at it.

3. Make homemade ice cream or popsicles.

4. Create an obstacle course, dragging out whatever you can find in the garage to make one of a kind challenges.

5. Play flashlight tag.

6. Have a lemonade stand.

7. Have a picnic in your backyard.

8. Climb a tree.

9. Be allowed to be bored. The most creative projects are born from “boring” afternoons.

10. Catch lightning bugs.

11. Make homemade chocolate chip cookies and mix the dough with your hands.

By the way, one of the added benefits of providing these activities for your kids (or doing them yourselves) is that the childlike excitement is contagious, helping you escape adulthood, and it builds your immunity against Adultitis.

Which one will you pick today?

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jack

charlie_chocolate_factory.jpgThere’s something about the tunes signaling the approach of your friendly neighborhood ice cream man. I don’t care if you are seven or forty-seven years old, if you don’t experience at least a small tingle of excitement when you hear that high-pitched jingle jangle melody, you are dead inside. Dead, I tell you. Definitely suffering from a full-blown case of Adultitis.

So where do ice cream truck drivers get their Pied Piper-like music? I always though that maybe the trucks were custom built by Willy Wonka in a mysterious factory somewhere. I’d like to believe that is still a viable possibility, but at least now I know that ice cream truck music is now available to the masses.

That’s right, now you can trick out your Honda Accord with some sweet tunes designed specially for motorized ice cream merchants.

Michael Hearst has released Songs for Ice Cream Trucks, a childlike collection of quirky little tunes, featuring offbeat instruments like the claviola, space crickets, and my favorite — the glockenspiel!

An article in Wired featured the album, noting that Hearst consulted with ice cream truck drivers directly (they said to stick with high-end chimes because they carry better through the air), and that drivers around the country are ditching their tired old soundtracks for this refreshing new fare.

"I first heard Michael’s music on MySpace about a year and a half ago," explains Matt Allen, also known as the Ice Cream Man in Los Angeles. "Since then, I’ve played it from my truck Bessie. It sounds like something you’d hear in a movie about ice cream."

Listen for yourself: "Where Does Ice Cream Go in the Winter?"

ice_cream_truck_cd.jpgWay cool (bad pun intended). You can learn more about the project at Michael’s website, or buy the album via iTunes. Just think of the looks you’ll get rolling into the office parking lot with your windows down and these cool tunes dancing out of your stereo. One thing’s for sure, you’ll definitely be more popular.

You might want to carry a few ice cream sandwiches with you, just in case.

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jack

“If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any talent.”
- Sir Issac Newton

Are you experiencing patient attention?

Humor me for a few minutes with this analogy.

Put your hand in front of your face, with your palm about a 1/2 inch from your nose.

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(Thank you to my cooperative husband for being my model today.)

What can you see?

Can you see much?

Thank goodness for peripheral vision, but it hurts your eyes to focus on your peripheral vision for too long.

This is how most people live their lives. (Analogy explanation: your hand is your life, you are you.)

It’s suffocating. You are trapped by what your life has become, so much so that you cannot see. When you do try to look, it hurts. You are not able to gain perspective from this viewpoint. Breathing is difficult because everything is too close. It’s hard to enjoy anything. Life becomes a blur.

How can you see what’s going on, especially in order to decide which way to go next?

No wonder so many people get to a point in their lives when they say,

“Wow. How did I get HERE?” I didn’t even want to be here.”

Step back and gain some perspective.

Breath deep.

Notice

Rediscover.

Dream.

Delight.

Be patient.

Love.

Stop suffocating your true self. There are so many possibilities ahead of you… if you step back.

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jack

Imagine standing in front of a room full of one hundred people. You tell them to raise their hand if they consider themselves optimistic. How many people have their hands raised?

Yep, all of them.

flower_sidewalk_crack.jpgEverybody thinks of themselves as optimistic; nobody will admit that they are pessimistic. When pressed by someone who knows them and thinks otherwise, they might admit, "I’m not pessimistic. I’m realistic." You’ll never hear anyone say, "Yeah, that’s me, pessimistic. I see the worst in every situation, my best days are way behind me, yesterday will always be better than tomorrow, and if anything can go wrong, it most certainly will."

So if we extended our little informal imaginary survey to say, the whole world, we’d have a planet packed with self-proclaimed optimists. Riiiiiiigghht. It’s impossible to ascertain whether someone is an optimists or a pessimist just by asking her. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a way to distinguish between the two. And it’s foolproof, too.

Listen to the words they use.

The language a person uses will reveal whether or not they really are the optimist they believe to be. If you start listening attentively, you’ll understand what I mean in no time. Take, for instance, the simple act of asking someone how he’s doing. Will he respond with a cheerful, "Great! Never been better!" or the more common, "Not bad. Could be better," "I’m hanging in there," "I could do without the heat," or "If it wasn’t for all this snow, I’d be fine."

Judging a person to be optimistic or pessimistic by listening to them speak is like playing poker against someone with his cards facing out. Easy.

I’ve read The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale many times. The classic book covers several timeless truths, among them being the notion that when we use more positive words, we will think more positive thoughts, and more positive outcomes will be the result. If you boil it all down, Mr. Peale really wrote a book about Adultitis. He was trying to get people to be more childlike! After all, how many pessimistic five-year-olds have you been around? Kids believe that TODAY has the potential to be the best day ever, that the prize in their Cracker Jacks could be worth a million dollars, and that Santa will be able to squeeze that new bike — and his jolly plump frame — down the chimney with nary a problem.

alarm_clock.jpgAs we get older, Adultitis creeps in and poisons our language, which breeds negative thoughts (and negative results). But there is hope. That optimistic five-year-old is still within you. You need to bring him or her out by changing the way you talk. Practice weeding out negative words and peppering your language with words of abundance, prosperity, and optimism — even if you don’t believe them. Maybe instead of thinking of that little gadget that wakes you up every morning as an alarm clock, why not start thinking of it as an "opportunity clock," as Zig Ziglar suggests. Keep at this game of putting a positive slant on the words you use, and eventually you WILL notice some differences. Just like Dorothy leaving black-and-white Kansas and entering the Technicolor world of Oz, that inner-five-year old will awaken and you’ll see the world in a whole new way. You’ll realize that today really IS the best day ever.

And people won’t need to ask you if you’re optimistic or pessimistic. They’ll already know.

(This post is part of the Positive Thinking Day group writing project. Thanks for the tag, Maria!

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jack