Escape Adulthood with Kim & Jason — Live life with less stress and more fun!

The Hard Work of Being Optimistic

by Jason on 9/3/2010 in Lemonade Stand,Maintain Perspective

A little tool to help you become more of a "half full" type of person. Available at the Kim & Jason Lemonade Stand.

Labor Day weekend is upon us; the unofficial end of summer that reminds us, “Quit goofing around, it’s time to get back to work.”

Perhaps you’ve heard the rumor that unemployment is really, really high.

If not, it’s probably because it’s been drowned out by all the other bad news being reported by seemingly every media source. The economy is depressed. Terrorism is on a rampage. And the Earth is melting. (Or is it freezing — I wish they’d make up their minds.)

If you listen to the pundits for too long, you’ll become convinced that we’re living in the worst period of time in the history of the world.

Bummer, huh?

No wonder Adultitis is at an all-time high. I, for one, am tired of it. Tired of the problems, for sure, but also tired of the hand-wringing and worrying. It feels like it’s been going on so long now that I’m actually tired of being tired of all the negativity.

How about a little optimism?

Yes, we have challenges. Crazy big ones. But dwelling on them endlessly only drives us to a deeper sense of fearful paralysis. And while we are tirelessly focusing on how bad things are, what are we missing out on?

Opportunities, for one. And reasons to be grateful.

There’s a popular phrase people often use when reflecting on their past: “Those were the good old days.” Ever notice how nobody ever says, “These are the good old days?”

Hmm. What if you — right now — were currently smack dab in the middle of your “good old days?”

Think about it. Before you — right now — are opportunities, moments, and blessings you’ll never experience again. You have people in your life right now that you won’t have with you forever. Maybe not next year. Are you appreciating them? Or are you taking the good things for granted while you focus on your fears?

It really is a simple matter of changing your perspective, the one thing in this crazy world that you DO have control of. Two people can look at the same glass, with one calling it “half full” while the other calls it “half empty.” In my experience, the “half full” people always seems to be happier, less stressed, and more fun to be around. They’re the ones that notice Cracker Jack prizes in spades and are always able to spot reasons to celebrate, no matter how negative the nightly newscast may be.

Labor day is a fun holiday, often marked with picnics, parades, and burnt hot dogs. Maybe you could use it as an occasion to practice becoming more of a “half full” kind of person. And think of all the great reasons there are for being alive. Right here. Right now.

Happy Labor Day.

And remember, every day is a holiday. It’s just that most days, what to celebrate is up to you.

Share and Enjoy:

1
comment

What’s Your Number? How to Stop Being Stretched Too Thin

by Kim on 9/1/2010 in Life Balance

photo by leo reynolds

With the new school year upon us, life inevitably starts to pick up. Sports, civic groups, music lessons, church activities — everyone distributes their fall schedules and before you know it, the day-to-day is officially busy again.

(We hardly knew ye, summer! See ya again in nine months!)

This is your chance — right now — before everything is completely up and running, to have a conversation that will decrease your stress and increase your happiness this fall. Don’t miss this opportunity! Here’s what you need to do…

Call a household meeting (even if you’re the only one in your household.) Have everyone bring their calendars and schedules for the next few months.

Once all parties have gathered, ask everyone the magic question: “What’s your number?”

Meaning, in a perfect world, how many weeknights would you like to be at home and not out doing something (even if that “something” is fun)?

This answer will vary based on the personality type of each person. Naturally, the extroverts may want more time in organized activities, while your introverts may crave more downtime at home.

The goal here is to proactively avoid over-scheduling.

The tricky part is in the evaluation of each person’s number. If Brother convincingly declares he only needs one night home, but other family members recall him being stressed last year with a similar schedule, then it’s the responsibility of everyone else to call a “Blatancy Alert.” Do not let others convince themselves that they can balance more than they truly can. You HAVE to look out for one another.

Dad may need 3 nights home, which means he has to choose between helping coach the soccer team and being a part of the networking group. Big Sis may need only 2 nights home, which means track and the part-time job can be balanced — with a re-evaluation at the end of the semester.

Even if your 6-year-old cannot completely grasp the concept, you can ask her to tell you what types of things she looks forward to. This will give you an idea of where you should set limits on her out-of-the-home activities.

Everything fighting for space in your schedule looks good on paper — all of the extracurriculars that will help you all be well-rounded, active, and involved in the community. Yet, these conversations about limits and the reality of how everything falls in the week are the secret to making it all work in the end.

This simple question and the conversation that follows WILL PREVENT ADULTITIS in your household.

Once everyone’s “number” has been established, the fun begins: looking at calendars, discussing scheduling, and realistic solutions to make sure everyone has what they need to be able to function in a healthy and happy manner. Oh yeah (stating the obvious here), try to make sure you are not all home on a different night of the week. Schedule in those family dinners and weekly Sabbaths (two things that will change your life — GUARANTEED!)
(link to posts on both concepts)

So, if you find yourself being stretched too thin or feeling like a chicken with your head cut off, just remember it’s never too late to call a household meeting to ask the magic question.

If YOU don’t, who will?

Share and Enjoy:

5
comments

Rule #1: Act Your Age

by Jason on 8/29/2010 in Rules That Don't Exist

art by jason

Of all the rules that don’t exist, perhaps the most widespread is the notion that you are supposed to act your age.

I’m guessing that this quip originated from a woman who caught her husband throwing things at the television while watching a football game. Or perhaps a high school teacher who was tired of her students firing spitballs across the classroom.

As with any rule, there usually contains within it a kernel of common sense. In this case, it is, “Quit acting like an idiot, you moron.”

The problem with this rule is that it falls apart the minute you start to follow the logic. I have yet to find the handbook that details exactly how one is supposed to act upon reaching a certain age. For instance, which actions are supposed to be jettisoned when a 34-year-old turns 35? And when I turn 65, am I suddenly supposed to jack my thermostat up to 100º, start eating dinner at 4:00, and commence complaining about how the kids are wearing their pants these days?

Clearly, this rule has some real problems.

Even worse, this particular adage oversteps its bounds and enslaves many people in the chains of Adultitis. In an effort to “act our age,” ANY actions and attitudes that could in any way be considered childish are tossed out like the proverbial baby and his proverbial bathwater. We laugh less, especially not at silly jokes. We’re more stressed, because we focus our attentions exclusively on “serious” matters. Instead of being optimistic, we become “realistic” (which really means pessimistic, although we’d never admit it.)

What a shame.

Because some of the qualitites we are so eager to abandon are the very things that can reward us with the kind of life we so desperately crave. One that is adventurous. Passionate. Meaningful. And fun.

It has been said that the average 4-year-old laughs around 400 times a day. There is some debate over the source and accuracy of this statistic, but any fool could tell you that when it comes to average daily laughs, the chasm between kids and adults is astronomical.

Odds are, a kid laughs around 400 times a day. Your laugh total probably clocks in at less than 20.

What age would you rather act?

If you feel unhappy, tired, stressed-out, bored, unadventurous, or any other negative emotion, try acting in the opposite way.

To feel happier, act happier.

To feel more adventurous, act more adventurously.

According to William James, the brilliant psychologist and philosopher, it’s a strategy that’s bound to work:

“Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” — William James

From now on, boldly refuse to act your age.

Instead, act more like the person you want to become.

Share and Enjoy:

3
comments

Are You Delightable?

by Jason on 8/27/2010 in Delight in the Little Things

art by jason

How delightable are you? When it comes to delightability, kids are king.

The next time you’re around children, pay close attention to them. Notice how delighted they are to find a penny on the ground (even more so when they get to throw it into a fountain). Observe how excited they become when they get to push the elevator button. It won’t take long, but after some serious study, you’ll start to smile at the little things kids get excited about. Kids are thrilled by lightning bugs, bubble baths, and the intricacy of a snowflake. They’re turned on my helium balloons, bedtime stories, and cereal box prizes. It is undeniable that kids make a big deal out of little things; as far as I can tell, they seem to be having a pretty good time.

Adults however, are a different story.

As we grow up, Adultitis sets in. We walk around with a “been there, done that, got-the-t-shirt” attitude. We’ve seen it all (or so we think), so it takes more and more to impress us. And that is a dangerous and expensive road to be on.

Eventually, complacency and cynicism set in, and that’s the kiss of death. Not only to a passionate life, but a successful one as well. The fact is that people who are delightable are way better off than those who aren’t.

People who are delightable have better relationships.

If you’re not delightable, good luck finding friends. Who wants to be in the company of a know-it-all who is impossible to impress and is always looking past you for the next big thing? On the other hand, people who are delightable are more fun to be around. They ask great questions. They respond to your stories enthusiastically. And they have a sense of anticipation about them that just makes life feel more exciting when you’re together. Who would you rather be?

People who are delightable are more successful.

The more delightable you are, the more receptive you are to the little things that can make a big difference. Anything can be interesting, so you live life with eyes wide open. You’re more able to see opportunities that others miss and notice connections that can help you solve your most pressing problems. And the ability to celebrate tiny successes keeps you fired up so you don’t burn out on the path to your big goal.

People who are delightable enjoy life more.

Kids go crazy for Cracker Jack prizes. Guess what? Life is FILLED with Cracker Jack prizes; those little treasures hidden just below our hurried consciousness. The smell of a newborn baby. The watercolor sunset of a summer day. The feeling of walking barefoot on a beach. The sound of rain on the rooftop — on a day you get to sleep in. It’s the stuff we miss when we’re racing through life like a chicken with its head cut off. Life really is all about the journey. And the journey is made richer when you slow down enough to notice and appreciate the Cracker Jack prizes along the way. To become awakened to and get caught up in the mundane details and hidden surprises that often get lost in the ebb and flow of our busy days are among the greatest blessings life has to offer.

If life seems to have lost its magic, take a cue from kids and practice becoming more delightable. With a potential new discovery just around the corner, your life will surely become more exciting, fulfilling, and fun.

P.S. This post was inspired by the newest book from my nametag wearing buddy, Scott. It’s called ABLE: 35 Strategies for Increasing the Probability of Success in Business and in Life. He’s got ideas to make you more buzzable, meetable, pursuable, retweetable, and successable (among other things). I’m not sure if delightable is actually a word, but it should be. And speaking of shoulds, this book (and all of Scott’s books) should be required reading for every human.

Share and Enjoy:

5
comments

How Many Wows Will You Miss Today?

by Kim on 8/25/2010 in Delight in the Little Things

photo by kim

Lucy and I experienced quite an amazing site the other night and I bet you’ll never guess where…

After all of the travels this kid has done so far (34 flights in 20 months), one of the coolest sights was found right in our local grocery store parking lot! (Isn’t that how life goes?!)

We walked out with our cart full of yummies to find a FULL rainbow right before our eyes. It spanned the entire sky. (I felt five!)

“WOOOWWW!” Lucy instantly proclaimed in her shaky toddler voice, pointing up at one of the coolest things I had ever seen in my 32 years. I found myself echoing her joy and awe. It was sure something! So big! So bright! And it’s so rare to see both ends. Upon closer inspection, there were actually two rainbows, the second one fainter but there in the shadow of the first.

Lucy had certainly labeled this right — “WOOOWWW!”

I pulled the cart off to the side and we enjoyed the beauty together — delighting in one another’s joy. We stuck around for probably five minutes just enjoying the show in the sky.

That five minutes taught me a lot about my fellow shoppers. We saw a few people who also enjoyed the rainbow by shooting pictures or leaning on their cars, just taking it in. Cool.

The large majority of people, however, were much too busy to stop. Adultitis was running rampant right there before my eyes. It made me sad AND mad. About 90% of the people we saw did not even acknowledge the rainbow AT ALL. They were coming out of the store, rushing to their cars, eager to get to the next thing. [Sidenote: There's NO WAY you could've missed it, as it stretched across the entire sky of this wide open parking lot.]

I wanted so badly to approach one of these individuals and say….

“Hello?! Seriously?! It’s a full, double rainbow, for crying out loud! How many times in your lifetime have you seen this? Are you really THAT busy not to stop for even a second?”

What would they have said?

Somehow, with less than 24 months of life experience, Lucy knew instinctively that this rainbow was a BIG deal.

How quickly we let the busyness of life’s to-do list preoccupy our ability to delight in the beauty and wonder right here in our midst. The rainbow was an obvious one, but it begs an important question: what are you missing today?

Sign up to receive our free newsletter to get regular reminders and tips for stressing less and having more fun. Consider it a well-deserved jolt of happiness for your inbox.

Share and Enjoy:

18
comments

An Important Life Lesson from Gordon Ramsey

by Jason on 8/22/2010 in Be Honest,Live Passionately

art by jason

Kim and I have been watching MasterChef on Fox, starring one of our favorite TV personalities, fiery chef Gordon Ramsey. MasterChef conducted a nationwide search for the best home cooks in America, and through a series of exciting elimination rounds, will turn one of them into a culinary master.

In the initial audition episodes, the contestants had to prepare their signature dish for the panel of judges in an effort to win one of 30 aprons in order to advance to the next round. As she prepared her dish, a young Hispanic woman named Adeliz spoke passionately about her family’s food history. In a misguided attempt to impress the judges, she used squeeze bottles to begin drawing squiggly lines of reduction sauce on the plate.

It didn’t take long for them to sense a disconnect.

“I can hear the passion but I can’t taste it. You’re missing the most important part, the heart and soul of what you stand for.” — Gordon Ramsey

In an unprecedented move, Ramsey gave her a second chance. With a time limit of two hours, he implored her to drive home, raid her cupboard, and come back with the ingredients to cook to her strength, something truly authentic.

She returned, free of pretension, and made New Mexican chile rellenos starring green chiles straight from her freezer. A dish she’d made hundreds of times for her family.

The judges loved it. They unanimously rewarded her with a coveted apron. Ramsey encouraged her to continue to play to her strengths and stay authentic.

While this proved to be excellent advice for Adeliz, I think it’s a great life lesson for all of us.

You were created to be something special. Every time you pretend to be something you’re not, or hide your uniqueness from the world, you lose a little bit of that specialness. You look more and more like everybody else.

School and society teaches us to conform, to follow the leader, and to work on our weaknesses in order to become “well-rounded.” We’re so used to it, we think of it as solid common sense.

But it’s not.

You’re creating unnecessary competition for yourself. You’re blending in to the crowd. You’re becoming both mediocre and invisible.

A school in our area recently hired a new second grade teacher. They had over one hundred applicants to choose from for one position. I’ll guarantee you that the person they picked didn’t look like everybody else.

Here’s a fact: No matter how much work you do, you’ll never lift your below-average skills to anything that rivals the efforts of someone who’s naturally good at them. However, when focused towards the things you ARE good at, that same amount of effort can easily take you to a world-class level.

When I started out as a speaker (and an artist and writer, for that matter), I naturally imitated the people I admired. It’s a great way to learn. But I have found that the more I unleash my own uniqueness into what I offer, the more uncopyable — and successful — I become.

Whether you’re looking for a job, looking for a date, or looking for a way to be happy in life, the first step is to just be yourself.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” –Oscar Wilde

It really is a lot easier to be yourself than trying to pretend to be something you’re not. The hardest part is getting to the point where you feel like YOU is good enough. Especially if you have yet to enjoy the success of some of your role models.

Let me tell you something. You are MORE than good enough. You have talents that no one else has. (At the very least, you are in a specific position to use them in a way no one else can.) The world doesn’t need another (fill in the blank with your biggest hero), it needs you.

It needs your strengths, your passion, your authenticity.

Be you. The world is waiting.

Share and Enjoy:

10
comments

When a Mess Is The Last Thing On Your Mind…

by Jason on 8/20/2010 in Maintain Perspective

I never was one of those boys who were magnetically drawn to mud puddles. That’s not to say that I didn’t make my share of messes. My Mom only brought out the Play-Doh on special occasions because she knew her post game activity would be picking dried Play-Doh crumbs out of the carpet.

These days, I enjoy when things are neat and orderly. But I’ve been gaining a new appreciation for messes. (I am sure that this in no way has anything to do with me having a 20-month-old.)

Alas, a theme is afoot. Kim recently wrote a cool post about messes, following one I wrote about how messes are tied to curiosity. Then I came across this awesome video by Zach Daulton. [Hat tip to Josh Crocker]

Be sure to watch it. It’s cute, clever, and very, very wise.

Meanwhile, I’m feeling the sudden need to keep a closer eye on Lucy and make sure my Play-Doh is in a safe place…

Share and Enjoy:

Be the first to comment

All You Can Do

by Kim on 8/18/2010 in Live Passionately,Maintain Perspective

I saw someone get really bad news today.

It was upsetting to witness.

We were walking along the always interesting State Street, Madison’s hot spot for fun and folly. This woman in her mid-20s was on her cell phone and it was obvious that she had just received news that would change her life. She stood there devastated, crying and hiding her face from the crowded street, shuddering into her boyfriend’s arms. I couldn’t help but wonder. What happened?

Did her mom die? Was her best friend in a terrible accident? Did she just find out she has a life-threatening illness? What?

Whatever it was — it was big.

I was immediately unsettled.

Less than 30 seconds after seeing her, we walked by a guy who had a shirt on that said “live life.”

There — in those two simple words — was the instant answer to my feelings of helplessness and sadness.

Everyone gets at least one of those phone calls in their lifetime. It’s just part of life. You can’t dwell on if or when or what the call will reveal.

All you can do is LIVE LIFE.

The challenge is to do it as well as you can, while you can.

Share and Enjoy:

5
comments

How to Turn Fantasy Into Reality

by Jason 08.15.2010 Dream Big

What makes the imaginary places from our favorite books and movies so special that people would want to visit (or even live there)? And even more importantly, is there anything we can do to make the real world we live in more like those fictional places? I decided that there definitely is, and here’s what I came up with.

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

Drawing on Boxes: Custom Art for Customers

by Jason 08.13.2010 Lemonade Stand

So we recently unveiled a new way to buy Kim & Jason greeting cards and get your hands on some original art. The WOW Greeting Card Box Set is packed with 48 cards spanning all of life’s big moments, and the box top features a little drawing by moi. I have to say that I [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

Your Daring Adventure Is Waiting

by Kim 08.11.2010 Live Passionately

Most people I run into seemed bored with their life. The status quo for a “happy life” these days is pretty watered down, pretty blah. Once you get your demanding (and often life-sucking) career, the 2.5 kids, the dog, the house with the white picket fence, two nice cars, yadda yadda… you should officially find [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

The Day the Wagon Queen Family Truckster Pulled Into My Driveway

by Jason 08.08.2010 Jason's Random Musings

I love my job. A few years ago, Kim and I got a behind-the-scenes tour of a 27-foot-long hot dog on wheels, aka the Wienermobile. This summer, we were able to take a spin in another classic vehicle — an exact replica of the Wagon Queen Family Truckster that Chevy Chase drove in National Lampoon’s [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries